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View Poll Results: Experience with having a stay at home partner
In my marriage, someone stayed at home and in future relationships I would do it again. 1 10.00%
In my marriage, someone stayed at home and in future relationships I wouldn't risk it anymore. 4 40.00%
Both partners worked in my relationship but in the future I would be OK with a stay at home partner. 1 10.00%
Both partners worked in my relationship but in the future I wouldn't have it any other way. 4 40.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 10-01-2012, 04:12 PM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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Exclamation Stay at home partners

Was just wondering for those who have gone through divorce and currently going through it what your thoughts are on "stay at home Moms" after learning more about Family Law.

Personally I feel that if 50% of marriage end in divorce and 75% of divorces are initiated by woman and 90% of support payments flow from Men to Women that having your partner stay at home during the marriage beyond maternity leave is an extremely risky and dangerous choice.

Share yours
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Old 10-01-2012, 04:20 PM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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I think this poll lacks a lot of options for non-traditional arrangements, ie: the work at home parents.

I also think that opting to have a stranger raise your child rather than a parent to avoid potential financial implications should the marriage not be successfull is incredibly selfish, shortsighted and makes me question why one would have chosen to have children to beging with.
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Old 10-01-2012, 04:56 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blinkandimgone View Post
I think this poll lacks a lot of options for non-traditional arrangements, ie: the work at home parents.

I also think that opting to have a stranger raise your child rather than a parent to avoid potential financial implications should the marriage not be successfull is incredibly selfish, shortsighted and makes me question why one would have chosen to have children to beging with.
I guess, I can be found selfish.

I am married now. I was never married to my ex whom I have a child with. If/when my new wife and I have a child, I would never agree to one of us being a SAHP unless we win the lottery and can both stay home. Why?

1. We financially couldn't manage it and definitely not if I stayed home as I make 2x as much as my wife. We need both incomes.

2. In the world of "what ifs", in that should the unfortunate happen and we do go our separate ways, it is harder on each spouse to move on. One likely has to pay SS, the other has to look to get a job while having a big hole in their resume and likely limited job options.

3. We don't believe in traditional roles. We both contribute in every aspect and that is what is expected of both of us. From everything from an expectation that each of us must contribute financially to cleaning around the house and chores. We both pitch in.
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:08 PM
Learner Learner is offline
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Default Stay at home partner

In a situation where neither partner stayed home with the kids, that is no guarantee that spousal support will not be required. In a longer term marriage with a significant difference in income you could still end up paying.
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:09 PM
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Your poll should have a question regarding people who did it all: stayed home, worked, contributed finances to the business/spouse and home: non-traditional traditional marriages. LOL
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Learner View Post
In a situation where neither partner stayed home with the kids, that is no guarantee that spousal support will not be required. In a longer term marriage with a significant difference in income you could still end up paying.
But it may effect whether or not the spouse with the lesser income meets the entitlement threshold. If their career wasn't damaged by the relationship and they've always made a similar income, their argument for entitlement is weakened.

Yeah, there are instances where one spouse earns a substantial sum and the other is nominal, and SS could be included. But the length and amount would be lessened by the both spouses working.
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Old 10-01-2012, 05:59 PM
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op is wrong only on the basis of the section which deals with longer term marriages and what is termed "Merger over time" in that with each year passing the the incomes both spouses earn would in fact be divided close to or perhaps closer to 50% each and the standard of living for both would then drop an equal amount. I believe it is section 7.2 of the Spousal Support Guidlines that discusses the above.......

Stay at home Mom's or Dad's for that matter....as each new child comes into the marriage more and more strain is placed on that lower income to the point it costs more to have a stranger raise your kids than the lower income parent who would actually save the family money by staying home. This I do believe in even today - I would much rather have my kids raised by my spouse......
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Old 10-01-2012, 06:08 PM
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I would stay at home for the early years again ,if I met prince sincere and had another child BUT would continue education through distance education rather than disadvantage myself again.That and/or do some part time work from home job, to keep a cash flow.
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Old 10-01-2012, 06:17 PM
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I do intend to stay at home with my next partner but I will work. I couldn't see myself just doing anything else. In fact, I am currently working on starting a small business while still at my current job.

One thing is certain, I will maintain my own financial account. There will be no joint accounts. I have learned my lesson with that.
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Old 10-01-2012, 08:13 PM
FightingForFamily FightingForFamily is offline
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True, I didn't consider longer term marriages of 20+ years, nor did I consider it's possible to "work at home" and contribute. However working at home remains valid since each partner contributes financially.

I guess my overall point is that having a SAHP is incredibly risky for the income earning partner. If the marriage should later fail, BOTH parties are at a disadvantage.

I had a discussion about this concept on a non-divorce forum today and universally everyone thought I was a completely crazy, misogynistic asshole. But I figured that among divorcees and people who knows family law, it makes perfect sense.

I polled my new girlfriend and she also agreed with the thoughts you've all posted. It's nice for the benefit of the kids but it's a huge financial risk for the future of both people.

So I guess thanks for the support.
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