I found this forum through a google search because I really need some outsiders advice on my situation.
I have been with my live-in common law partner for 7 years and lived together for a very long time. No children involved thank goodness. My issues stem from him. Our relationship has had a lot of bumpy spots.
I have spent our relationship holding down a full time job where I worked at the same company for 6 years while he did jobs here and there, getting money from his family to cover some of his expenses. Over time I found him lying about money situations, him paying rent and such. This was huuuge.
We've broken up twice in the past 2 years because of him taking money and being dishonest about it, doing drugs around me and lying about it or when he went out. He has since kicked the habit and is off the drugs.
This guy is vindictive towards me and when upset tries to think of ways that he can screw me over.
Now the issue is that he is being extremely childish and is telling me to choose between my friend or him. This was after him having a few beers. Yelling in my face, calling me names, taking my cell phone from me, threatening to beat up my friends or tell my family members things of my personal life just to screw me over. The arguments go on for hours and I can't have any space to cool down. He intentionally bothers me, doesn't let me close the bedroom door to get away and I can't leave the apartment.
Now if leaving him is something that is going to happen. This is where I run into confusion. Because of his manipulation... he says if I leave the apartment and move, he will sue me for abandoning a rental unit.
He said he will sue me because he helped pay for a small amount of the bills which is nowhere near the amount of me working full time to support two people while he "found himself".
His biggest argument is that he will take me to court and sue me even though I worked all throughout our relationship and supported two people for the majority of the time... then calls his mother and tells me his mom said I owe her money since that is how he was able to pay one of the bills that month.. and if I don't then he will have his mom declare fraud against me even though I didn't do anything.
I'm scared for the future, I don't know how to get out unscathed. I have been there through the entire relationship being the responsible one but because he had jobs off and on.. none of which he kept for more then 6 months and got his mom to pay a bill or two every few months he thinks he holds this super power over me like I've done something wrong and he deserves to take whatever he wants or he will take me to court. If I leave the apartment the threat is he will sue me for abandoning a rental unit, hurt my friends, tell my family things. Be vindictive until he wins in his eyes.
I am not being physically abused. There is definite mental abuse though which I have endured to the point where I've been sick to my stomach and gotten barely no sleep because the fighting continues throughout the night.
I don't know what to do. It's unhealthy and I have supported him financially, emotionally, gave him a place to stay and had to at times beg him just to put in effort to get a job. But now because we broken up in the summer and got back together in August he seems to think that the past is behind him and that all the stuff he did before was void.
Help please. I need advice. I'm located in Toronto.
I have been with my live-in common law partner for 7 years and lived together for a very long time. No children involved thank goodness. My issues stem from him. Our relationship has had a lot of bumpy spots.
I have spent our relationship holding down a full time job where I worked at the same company for 6 years while he did jobs here and there, getting money from his family to cover some of his expenses. Over time I found him lying about money situations, him paying rent and such. This was huuuge.
We've broken up twice in the past 2 years because of him taking money and being dishonest about it, doing drugs around me and lying about it or when he went out. He has since kicked the habit and is off the drugs.
This guy is vindictive towards me and when upset tries to think of ways that he can screw me over.
Now the issue is that he is being extremely childish and is telling me to choose between my friend or him. This was after him having a few beers. Yelling in my face, calling me names, taking my cell phone from me, threatening to beat up my friends or tell my family members things of my personal life just to screw me over. The arguments go on for hours and I can't have any space to cool down. He intentionally bothers me, doesn't let me close the bedroom door to get away and I can't leave the apartment.
Now if leaving him is something that is going to happen. This is where I run into confusion. Because of his manipulation... he says if I leave the apartment and move, he will sue me for abandoning a rental unit.
He said he will sue me because he helped pay for a small amount of the bills which is nowhere near the amount of me working full time to support two people while he "found himself".
His biggest argument is that he will take me to court and sue me even though I worked all throughout our relationship and supported two people for the majority of the time... then calls his mother and tells me his mom said I owe her money since that is how he was able to pay one of the bills that month.. and if I don't then he will have his mom declare fraud against me even though I didn't do anything.
I'm scared for the future, I don't know how to get out unscathed. I have been there through the entire relationship being the responsible one but because he had jobs off and on.. none of which he kept for more then 6 months and got his mom to pay a bill or two every few months he thinks he holds this super power over me like I've done something wrong and he deserves to take whatever he wants or he will take me to court. If I leave the apartment the threat is he will sue me for abandoning a rental unit, hurt my friends, tell my family things. Be vindictive until he wins in his eyes.
I am not being physically abused. There is definite mental abuse though which I have endured to the point where I've been sick to my stomach and gotten barely no sleep because the fighting continues throughout the night.
I don't know what to do. It's unhealthy and I have supported him financially, emotionally, gave him a place to stay and had to at times beg him just to put in effort to get a job. But now because we broken up in the summer and got back together in August he seems to think that the past is behind him and that all the stuff he did before was void.
Help please. I need advice. I'm located in Toronto.
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