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DHTO · #1 09-10-2021, 11:25 PM

Hi all,

I was hoping you could provide some insight into how I could go about increasing my parenting time with my kids (9 and 8).

Refresher into my situation:

Separated Oct 2019, but lived in the same house until May 2021 (combination of COVID and not wanting to give up on the marriage).

When I moved out, my ex and I informally agreed to my having parenting time every other weekend (Friday aft to Monday morning). Again, informally we added me having dinners with the kids every Wednesday at some point along the way.

I've filed my Form 8 application with the courts, waiting for my ex's response.

I would like to get to 50:50 time, or at least something close to that. Initially I didn't want to "bite off more than I could chew"...but after 6 months I am more confident in my parenting abilities, and my kids have mentioned multiple times that they would like to spend more time with me.

Ex does not want to adjust the schedule, even though we have no written documentation on it.

How do I go about increasing my parenting time?

Thanks!

cleanSlate · #2 09-11-2021, 03:27 PM

What hearings and endorsements do you have already?

DHTO · #3 09-11-2021, 10:47 PM

No hearings, no endorsements...nothing.

Status quo is that I am getting 3/14 nights. Ex won't consent to any change.

I would like to know if there is a process to get things changed before a final court hearing (and having to go through case conference, trial scheduling etc.)

cleanSlate · #4 09-12-2021, 03:14 PM

If there is nothing then you can simply take the kids and depending on what court system you are in there is nothing the ex can do about this.
Not even an emergency motion (unless they lie and say the children are in serious danger), a lawyer can vouch and say they are not.

The kids can kick and scream all they want and a judge...well often the judges don't care.

Sounds crazy but that is how bad our Family Court system is.
It is F***KED.

So just pick them up from school and say "too bad", talk to the lawyer, start tomorrow....my lawyer, he told me that but more in a coded way.

Some other a hole said I should take them to another province (but I wasn't to say that they said that).

CoolGuy41 · #5 09-13-2021, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DHTO

How do I go about increasing my parenting time?

Quote:

Originally Posted by DHTO

I've filed my Form 8 application with the courts, waiting for my ex's response.

I'm not from Ontario, so excuse my ignorance. Is Form 8 for placing your take out sushi order??

Quote:

Originally Posted by cleanSlate

So just pick them up from school and say "too bad"

If you even consider actually following the above advice from cleanSlate, you are not likely to succeed representing yourself in court. Your slate will be anything but clean.

Brampton33 · #6 09-13-2021, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoolGuy41

If you even consider actually following the above advice from cleanSlate, you are not likely to succeed representing yourself in court. Your slate will be anything but clean.

The rule of thumb in court is to enter with clean hands. Be the level-headed one. If mud is thrown, don't throw mud back. If your ex takes things into their own hands, don't retaliate or follow-suit. The idea is that YOU have stories to tell, whereby your ex does not.

However, what cleanslate says does come with a grain of truth. MOST cases do not get to trial, which is when/where repercussions occur. The courts do everything for cases to not go to trial and will try to get settlements done rather than have things go to trial. The list of "incidents" I had against my ex was long in terms of her taking matters into her own hands, denying me access, micromanaging, gatekeeping, and even areas where she dug serious holes against herself. My court briefs painted quite the picture. But at the end of the day, it all matters not as we ended up settling. So I endured years of my exes crap; and she looked terrible in court; and at the end of the day there were no repercussions for her terrible behaviour and actions.

Yes, Family Law NEEDS to change. It is a game that can be played, and its the children who suffer.

pinkHouses · #7 10-04-2021, 08:48 AM

No paperwork then simply say the kids are staying with you on certain nights and then have them do that.
If the ex wants to take them out of school or hide them away from you that is her doing a bad move.
Ask yourself this. Why do you have to hand control over to your ex and ask for her permission?

If you accept her being in charge now that is it, she is in charge.

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