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newlifenewme · #31 10-17-2019, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berner_Faith

So you�re order states you�re to move towards shared parenting? Your only issue you have with shared parenting is you�d have to pay her CS. You�d be okay with 60-40 but not 50-50. You haven�t provided and reasons why she should t get shared parenting. Yes you may have status quo but with the wording of your order �moving towards shared parenting� it sounds like status quo isn�t going to hold much weight

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How important is status quo in a situation like this and when does status quo become more important? I think I will be heading down a similar path.

Berner_Faith · #32 10-17-2019, 03:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YYC_SingleDad

Thanks for the reply and your thoughts. I do have reasons why shared parenting may not work in our case but I will not get into as I see how heated discussion can get on this forum.

You�re reasons will most likely not hold up in court. Is CAS involved? Has mom been charged with anything making her a threat to the children? Do the children have any special requirements that only you can handle? What you most likely have are �fears� or �what if�s�... courts don�t work on those. I was all for status quo being your biggest reason why a change shouldn�t happen, but seeing how your order states you have a review in spine of 2020 to move towards shared parenting, status quo is no longer your friend

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Berner_Faith · #33 10-17-2019, 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by newlifenewme

How important is status quo in a situation like this and when does status quo become more important? I think I will be heading down a similar path.

Depends... a lot depends on circumstances, what created status quo? What change has occurred to upset status quo? What does your agreement state as far as reviews go?

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calvinfive · #34 10-17-2019, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YYC_SingleDad

Would there be any onus on me to prove that the status quo is working very well and that the children are doing well?

It only states that a review hearing will be scheduled in Spring 2020, with a move towards shared parenting and we are allowed two witnesses each. There are no certain conditions that in the interim order that need to be met.

So basically, what the court is saying, is you, the father, want to move towards shared parenting but not right away. So the agreement here is you guys will check back in court in Spring 20/20 to see how things are working out, and whether or not shared parenting should happen.

Mom will have to demonstrate she has been able to maintain a stable environment, that you guys are getting along well, and that it would be in the child's best interests to move towards 50/50. You will be given a chance to defuse her arguments and state your reasons why 50/50 is not feasible at this time.

Just the fact that a move towards shared parenting is tried at a hearing, doesn't mean that a move towards shared parenting must take place.

Who is the moving party to this matter? I assume it would be her since she is the one seeking the change?

How old are the kids again? Do they cope well with change? Is mom still at same address? How were the children doing in school? Report cards? Has their marks gone up or down since the move towards shared parenting ? How well are you and mom communicating? Is she mean to you, doing anything unilaterally or just down right to try and piss you off? Does she communicate with you well ?

If it get's down to it...Shared parenting doesn't mean exactly 50/50.. you could give her maybe one extra day and put her at 40 % ? Maybe 2 weeks each of July and August ?

What is her income? What is yours ? Has either income gone down or up by any child support worthy amount in the last few years ?

calvinfive · #35 10-17-2019, 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Berner_Faith

You�re reasons will most likely not hold up in court. Is CAS involved? Has mom been charged with anything making her a threat to the children? Do the children have any special requirements that only you can handle? What you most likely have are �fears� or �what if�s�... courts don�t work on those.

You should have a look at all of the cases where mom is given sole custody absent of CAS involvement, Charges, Threats, or special requirements only mom can handle.

YYC_SingleDad · #36 10-17-2019, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calvinfive

So basically, what the court is saying, is you, the father, want to move towards shared parenting but not right away. So the agreement here is you guys will check back in court in Spring 20/20 to see how things are working out, and whether or not shared parenting should happen.

Mom will have to demonstrate she has been able to maintain a stable environment, that you guys are getting along well, and that it would be in the child's best interests to move towards 50/50. You will be given a chance to defuse her arguments.

Just the fact that a move towards shared parenting is tried at a hearing, doesn't mean that a move towards shared parenting must take place.

Who is the moving party to this matter? I assume it would be her since she is the one seeking the change?

How old are the kids again? Do they cope well with change? Is mom still at same address? How were the children doing in school? Report cards? Has their marks gone up or down since the move towards shared parenting ? How well are you and mom communicating? Is she mean to you, doing anything unilaterally or just down right to try and piss you off? Does she communicate with you well ?

Shared parenting doesn't mean exactly 50/50.. you could give her maybe one extra day and put her at 40 % ? Maybe 2 weeks each of July and August ?

What is her income? What is yours ? Has either income gone down or up by any child support worthy amount in the last few years ?

Thanks again for the reply and that is what I thought the review hearing would be. To see how things are working out and if shared parenting should happen. I see what you mean about mom showing that we are able to get along as the tone of her emails have dramatically change to being overly friendly.

She is the one seeking the move towards shared parenting and the children (two girls) are 6 and 9. The younger one does not cope well with changes but the older one is fine for what the schedule is now.

The children have been doing very well in school since she left and continue to do so both in their regular school and in their second language school on the weekend. Their marks have not gone down at all.

Regarding income she left her job that was paying higher than minimum wage to a minimum wage job and said that she was not getting enough hours at the higher paying job. I am not sure if that is true but that is what it is. My income is about twice what hers is now.

She moved back into our area with her boyfriend into a two bedroom condo and the children have been staying their on her weekends. Previous she lived with her boyfriend in a one bedroom condo that did not allow kids. This condo was in a trendy part of town and the one bedroom condo rent is about the same as the two bedroom condo rent they pay now.

calvinfive · #37 10-17-2019, 05:35 PM

How long exactly will the latest arrangement have been in place for by the time the review hearing takes place ?

YYC_SingleDad · #38 10-17-2019, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calvinfive

How long exactly will the latest arrangement have been in place for by the time the review hearing takes place ?

About 9 months.

Gilligan · #39 10-22-2019, 11:01 PM

I'm going to be the jerk here. Most lawyers would say " you never negotiate custody". There is a status quo and there is no material change in circumstances. Simply moving doesn't constitute a change in circumstances unless the mother is looking for you to subsidize her housing?

Funny how this CS issue gets twisted isn't it?

Janus · #40 10-23-2019, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by YYC_SingleDad

About 9 months.

While that is something, it is not a massive status quo, especially for a mom trying to regain custody.

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