I also agree with NBDad, trying to prove she is unfit is useless. She'd have to be a crackwhore pulling tricks infront of the child with a beer in one hand and a needle in the other for her to lose custody with the position you are going to put yourself in. Plus, it is SUPER expensive and combative.
What is FAR MORE effective is being a dad. Being there for your kid. Journalling all of your involvment from getting the kid up in the morning for day care, feeding, changing diapers, putting to sleep, bathing etc. If you can show the judge (via your journal) that you've been involved as much as possible you are substantially more likely to get a favourable result, instead of trying to sling as much mud as possible, making you look just like the last jaded, aggressive ex that walked through the judges court house and are likely to be treated accordingly.
What is FAR MORE effective is being a dad. Being there for your kid. Journalling all of your involvment from getting the kid up in the morning for day care, feeding, changing diapers, putting to sleep, bathing etc. If you can show the judge (via your journal) that you've been involved as much as possible you are substantially more likely to get a favourable result, instead of trying to sling as much mud as possible, making you look just like the last jaded, aggressive ex that walked through the judges court house and are likely to be treated accordingly.
I can tell you from my own experience...my ex got one of those "pitbull lawyers" who tried to prove me unfit. Considering I've done the large majority of the childcare over a long length of time...I don't drink...smoke...eat meat, etc...it was rather ridiculous. The last thing he threw out at court was that I was "obsessed over my appearance and worked out too much"....needless to say...the judge got pretty miffed. And his legal bill is outrageous.
Judges are geared to resolve conflict and encourage people to be good parents...and if you are geared that way too, you have a much better chance of doing well in court. This is becoming more and more true. Judges want to encourage shared parenting situations and if you can prove that you are reasonable...put the needs of your child first...and are solutions-driven, rather than conflict-driven...you will do far better.
Get a better lawyer because what you have right now is one that will drive up issues to drive up his bill. And unless she has some major, severe issues...you're not going to get anywhere this way. You just won't...you're wasting your time.
Find a way to work with her and take care of your child. In the long run, you want your child to have two communicating parents who love and parent their kid. Kids need two parents who aren't at each other's throats. There is no "winning" in divorce, people that think that are ridiculously misguided. The only thing you can be successful in doing is limiting the negative impact that your relationship breakdown has on your child.
Follow the advice on this forum...and whenever you say or do anything...think of your child. It makes things a lot simpler. Put yourself and your anger second and think of what's in his best interest before you do anything.
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