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Need an urgent advise. I am truly mad as it concerns the child

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  • #46
    Hello all, had my court hearing today.

    1. The Judge came unprepared and somehow he did not have any of my brief, notice to motion or affidavits. No proofs were reviewed. It was sent to him via email and he spent 15 minutes to go through over 70 pages.
    2. My lawyer did not mention that the.father was skipping the visitation.
    3. Judge was late so he rushed with his decision.
    4. As soon as the hearing started, he said the same thing as last time - he does not believe in supervised visitations and he does not case what mother say. It is not healthy for the child.
    5. Judge granted him a temporary visit every week for 1,5 hr. After three weeks if visitation, his visitation will be 2 hours. He will review it on Sept 19.
    6. The father is now allowed to leave GTA.
    7. Judge asked me to provide more proves (but I don't believe it will make sense, since he did not look into it).

    Now my question is, the Judge did not see the evidence where it shows I have made all the attempts. The father came with no proof. The judge did not care.

    I am obviously changing my lawyer, because I feel my lawyer was very quiet while the Father's lawyer said he was seeing the child every week but that's not true. He skipped a months and 4 more visits. Demanded for a visit with last minute.
    My lawyer knew that and said nothing in court.

    Can I challenge the Judge's behavior and ask another judge to look into evidence?

    I am afraid because the Judge did not see clear evidence of father being absent from child's life because of his choice and not me, it may impact his final decision and full cost.

    Comment


    • #47
      Easy. You need to relax here. Judges don’t have time to read 45 pages and your proof really wasnt that he was a danger to the child but rather a shitty parent. That’s not the same thing.

      This isnt your lawyer or the judge’s fault. Your lawyer didn’t need to say anything because there was nothing to say.

      Not to mention you actually got what you wanted, he only has an hour and a half every week. You complained about him coming back early, now its set at that short time. Did the judge say anything about when the time happens? Can you tell him ten am or nothing?

      You still seem to think you can control him…you can’t. He can move wherever he wants. He just can’t expect you to do anything to accommodate his parenting time. You also don’t get to dictate what happens on his parenting time. He isn’t a danger to the child. He is a shitty parent but she isn’t going to die if she doesnt get lunch on time. You do not get to dictate certain things and no lawyer or judge is going to allow that.

      So you do this…send him an email outlining what times work for you and tell him if you havent received confirmation of what time he wants within 48 hours you will take that as him forfeiting his time this week. Then you put him on ignore and you make other plans. He will get it through his head that you are serious.

      Comment


      • #48
        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
        Easy. You need to relax here. Judges don�t have time to read 45 pages and your proof really wasnt that he was a danger to the child but rather a shitty parent. That�s not the same thing.

        This isnt your lawyer or the judge�s fault. Your lawyer didn�t need to say anything because there was nothing to say.

        Not to mention you actually got what you wanted, he only has an hour and a half every week. You complained about him coming back early, now its set at that short time. Did the judge say anything about when the time happens? Can you tell him ten am or nothing?

        You still seem to think you can control him�you can�t. He can move wherever he wants. He just can�t expect you to do anything to accommodate his parenting time. You also don�t get to dictate what happens on his parenting time. He isn�t a danger to the child. He is a shitty parent but she isn�t going to die if she doesnt get lunch on time. You do not get to dictate certain things and no lawyer or judge is going to allow that.

        So you do this�send him an email outlining what times work for you and tell him if you havent received confirmation of what time he wants within 48 hours you will take that as him forfeiting his time this week. Then you put him on ignore and you make other plans. He will get it through his head that you are serious.
        Thanks for your reply.

        The judge gave time from 12:00 PM to 1.30 PM first 3weeks
        After,every 2 hours until Sept 19.
        The issue is not he being an awful parent, the issue is, he accused of not giving him the child all this time and the judge ignored that.

        He needs to confirm 48 hrs prior or no visitation.

        Now I wonder, every Saturday will stay forever?

        How am I supposed to take the child for the long weekend?

        Comment


        • #49
          So if he doesnt confirm you dont send her and stick to it.

          If you have plans for the weekend you offer him other time.

          More than likely he will stop seeing the child. This is probably a ploy to avoid paying child support. Stick with it for the next few months and go from there.

          Comment


          • #50
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            So if he doesnt confirm you dont send her and stick to it.

            If you have plans for the weekend you offer him other time.

            More than likely he will stop seeing the child. This is probably a ploy to avoid paying child support. Stick with it for the next few months and go from there.
            You are right. Sadly, this this entire litigation is for nothing, as I was giving more time and he never took it. And at some point, he will stop seeing her
            He is also, as I said earlier, not allowed to remove the child from GTA even beyond Sept 19.

            I am not sure if he will work me on schedule.

            The Judge told him to do his best to gain my trust. Not sure how can I check that or prove anything, even if the child complains. He will deny everything. At this point, documenting issues does not help.

            But if I am allowed to send an email and negotiate the long weekend schedule, it shouldn't be a problem. I just hope to get a reply.

            But for this Saturday, I am not sending any emails. Judge has provided one and he should know it, right?

            Comment


            • #51
              I would still send the email as due diligence for yourself and to put out your terms in that you warn him you wont tolerate late notice. Or you can wait for him to arrive at noon. Its up to you.

              He wont take her out of the city in the future. He cant of course but he sounds like it is a burden for him. Yes its sad for your child but she has you and will not know any better.

              Comment


              • #52
                48 hours notice is nice, but if it's not in your order, you don't get to create your own rules and ignore the actual order because ex doesn't follow your rules. You can update the order, but you must follow the order! Don't send the email.

                Comment


                • #53
                  Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                  I would still send the email as due diligence for yourself and to put out your terms in that you warn him you wont tolerate late notice. Or you can wait for him to arrive at noon. Its up to you.

                  He wont take her out of the city in the future. He cant of course but he sounds like it is a burden for him. Yes its sad for your child but she has you and will not know any better.
                  You're truly awesome.
                  I promise you, as I write this, the baby sleeps next to me right now. And there's no other place I would rather be.
                  I will send an email tomorrow to outline the schedule.

                  The Judge told him, if he won't provide confirmation by 2 PM each Thursday for Saturday visit, the visit won't take place.

                  I will confirm the same.
                  If I have plans, I will provide my schedule telling him, I am traveling and as alternative, I can provide extra hours for the next weekend instead.
                  Thank you so much for your advice.

                  Truly.

                  Also, he will be cross examined about his income. That's another battle, as he is quite good at lying

                  But his statements are pretty informative.

                  Will will see how it will go

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                    48 hours notice is nice, but if it's not in your order, you don't get to create your own rules and ignore the actual order because ex doesn't follow your rules. You can update the order, but you must follow the order! Don't send the email.
                    48 hr notice is my order. If he misses, there will be no visitation - Judge told him that. Sir, it is up to you to follow it. I don't want the mother to call the lawyer and ask what to do if you show up without notice

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Your situation keeps changing.
                      If it's in the order, then there is definitely no reason for an email.

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                        Your situation keeps changing.
                        If it's in the order, then there is definitely no reason for an email.
                        I am thinking to send an email with schedule due to my upcoming long weekend trip.
                        I hope he will agree to adjust it

                        Otherwise no long weekends for me and the child till Sept 19.

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                          I would still send the email as due diligence for yourself and to put out your terms in that you warn him you wont tolerate late notice. Or you can wait for him to arrive at noon. Its up to you.

                          He wont take her out of the city in the future. He cant of course but he sounds like it is a burden for him. Yes its sad for your child but she has you and will not know any better.
                          One more question, in case if you know:

                          I don't have an order for a permission to travel abroad with child without consent of other parent.
                          Also, do not have anything said about passport renewal. Is it something that needs to be dealt in Sept?

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Originally posted by Anotherday View Post
                            One more question, in case if you know:

                            I don't have an order for a permission to travel abroad with child without consent of other parent.
                            Also, do not have anything said about passport renewal. Is it something that needs to be dealt in Sept?

                            Yes deal with it in September. You can also note that with the passport office so backed up you would like to get the passport sorted sooner rather than later.

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                              Your situation keeps changing.
                              If it's in the order, then there is definitely no reason for an email.

                              Her ex has a pattern of not following orders and sending a text ten minutes before changing things. Sending him a reminder that she won’t tolerate his fuckshit isn’t a bad thing.

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                OP fears coming off as a dictator. Sending unnecessary emails and creating her own rules (which goes against the order) is not the way to go. They have an order; the judge made the rules. She doesn't need to say anything!!

                                Comment

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