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  • Hooray, gf pregnant. What about trial?

    How does this affect my chances of succeeding in trial.?

    Can ex use this against me in any way? Should I tell her?

    How do I tell my child this without it affecting our relationship?

    Any advice is appreciated .




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  • #2
    Originally posted by OntarioDaddyMan View Post
    How does this affect my chances of succeeding in trial.?

    Can ex use this against me in any way? Should I tell her?

    How do I tell my child this without it affecting our relationship?

    Any advice is appreciated .




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    It should have no impact on your trial, unless you are claiming undue hardship.

    But I would hold off telling your child and the ex. For one, its generally a good idea not to tell people until later in the pregnancy (first trimester) as there are often miscarriages, and its easier to deal with between the two of you.

    Does your child see you often? If she does, she will notice at some point, and that is about the time you should mention it. Your daughter will mention it to your ex no doubt. Nothing you can do about that.

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    • #3
      LOL Downtroddendad.

      The GF is 4 months pregnant. It is starting to show a little bit.

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      • #4
        Good grief. Why on earth would you think it is a good idea to impregnate a woman with another child of yours, when you haven't finalized 50/50 parenting of your existing child?
        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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        • #5
          Good grief. Why on earth would you think it is a good idea to impregnate a woman with another child of yours, when you haven't finalized 50/50 parenting of your existing child?
          I agree....nothing like further complicating your complicated life.

          Anyway OP, I wish you the best...babies are lovely.

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          • #6
            Hmm ... maybe I'm really reaching here, but I'm wondering if the OP's ex or her friends are also on this site, and this is a sort of roundabout way of saying "Look what I did!". It's kind of an unnecessary question - what exactly did the OP think his ex was going to do, haul him into court on charges of illegally knocking up his girlfriend? This post seems rather like an announcement.

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            • #7
              Haha, communication is so funny online sometimes. I got the impression that maybe the pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned and throwing a monkey wrench into the process and he's asking for help in how to proceed with the extra complication. Maybe it was the lack of exclamation marks in the "announcement."

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              • #8
                You're probably right, I was reading in things which weren't there. Yes, a new baby, although a joyous event, is probably not best timed for the middle of a court struggle over custody. It may make things more complicated for the OP, but I don't see how it could negatively affect his case for shared parenting.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Rioe View Post
                  Haha, communication is so funny online sometimes. I got the impression that maybe the pregnancy was unexpected and unplanned and throwing a monkey wrench into the process and he's asking for help in how to proceed with the extra complication. Maybe it was the lack of exclamation marks in the "announcement."
                  You might be right, and this is going to be one heck of a monkey wrench. I can't imagine this is going to be smooth sailing for the OP, particularly if there is an OCL assessment in progress.

                  Babies are wonderful, baby scent is the best and you are a lucky man to experience another birth, however: do you live with your GF? will you move in with your GF? how confident are you are going to have a long term relationship with this GF and be raising this child together, or, alternatively, 50/50? how does this impending birth change your current proposed parenting plan? how does it change your financial calculations?

                  I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I definitely wouldn't be springing this on the ex or our child until I had time to evaluate all of the ramifications. How old is your child? You'll have to look into a fun and exciting manner to announce to your child, that is inclusive.

                  Good luck.
                  Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

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                  • #10
                    I think the OP's concerns are valid. If his ex is vindictive and jealous of his personal life and affairs this pregnancy will fuel her no doubt.

                    Even if it's an announcement online, they do have to announce it eventually. I mean, he could pretend she swallowed a watermelon but no one is going to believe that.

                    I believe the OCL assessment is complete already. And I am confused as to how a pregnancy affects an OCL assessment anyhow - are points awarded or deducted for being pregnant? Lol. She is pregnant. That's a fact. It doesn't change his child's best interests as far as OCL is concerned...

                    And as for the comments about planning a pregnancy around a trial - do any of us plan for our ex's to force us to go to court to just maintain a reasonable or little time with our kids? Do we really plan a pregnancy around court dates that we do not even know in our future? Seems to me court can continue for years. And our biological clocks are limited.

                    Good on you for your pregnancy. I wish you all the best. If anything, I hope this is sign to your former spouse that you value family and much love to give. Babies bring out the good in people. And your child will have so much to give and learn from your new baby.

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                    • #11
                      The original question was "succeeding at trial", and in that there should be no difference in the eyes of the law. I'd be happy to change my tune if anyone shows otherwise. However it may change attitudes with the ex, so any hopes of negotiation may go out the window(or may not). It would likely serve to harden attitudes, but there doesn't sound like thing can get muc worse there anyway.

                      Comment

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