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I just don't understand people!!!!

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  • I just don't understand people!!!!

    Yes, I am just venting so here goes

    So NCP picks up their child two weeks ago and is noified by CP that D10 has a girl guide function during his next access weekend. The date is revealed & luckily enough the NCP doesn't already have plans with his D10. CP says that she will pass on more details when they come available.

    Yesterday he arrives at CP home to pick up D10 and still isn't given any information. He is told she will text him with it later. He is informed that CP will be attending the event as well. She says she has to bring her uniform.

    First of all, I find it hard to believe that the CP didn't know well in advance about the funtion. The function is a race that the girl guides are volounteering at to obtain a badge.

    Secondly, CP knows that the weekend of the function is the NCP's birthday so it would be assumed that there would be plans to celebrate especially since the D10 is going to be with him for his access. What if he wasn't able to take D10?

    Thirdly, why does the CP insist on inserting herself in the day by claiming she has to bring the D10's uniform. She could have just sent it with the NCP when he picked up the child yesterday. She already gets to participate 26 days a month in all of the other activities D10 is enrolled in. Why can't she just let NCP have his time without CP?

    They are about to have their first appearance in court next week. NCP is asking for more time. You would think she would be more cooperative with court looming.

    Why is it that most CP can't respect the relationship between their kids and the NCP?


  • #2
    I can totally understand your feelings. There is one thing that I am unclear on. Its for a girl guides badge and I am thinking they have certain times when the girls can do the required task to qualify for the badge?

    Does the NCP go to the events the child is in when it isnt on their time? If no then why not??? If its a public place she cannot stop him from going and offering support to the child.

    Before you get too bent out of shape over not finding out the time, I would ask some of the other parents there when they found out and maybe you can see if one of them would be willing to email you with details of upcoming events or maybe the troop leader could?? Just throwing out some ideas.

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    • #3
      The NCP is not informed of any events that aren't during his time so he doesn't attend. When he is informed of events during his time it is usually last minute.

      He was under the understanding that this was organized by the CP but he has since found out from his D10 that the whole troop is attending this event.

      He has tried to be in the loop regarding these things including school events but when he attempts to contact the organizations he is ignored. He figures that the CP is contacted by the organization and she stops the contact.

      For example, he contacted D10 school to speak to the teacher. The principal called back and said they couldn't speak to him without CP permission. He faxed a copy of the court order stating he was to be given access to her educators and progress. After many phone calls and messages left there was no response from the school.

      NCP has missed many school concerts, parent teacher meetings & dance recitals due to this.

      He just found out from D10 that she is in after school care. He was of the understanding that she wasn't in care. He has a name of the provider now that she filed a response to his motion to change and is looking for him to contribute. Still doesn't have an address or know how often she goes.

      He is at the girl guide function right now. He just texted me. CP made D10 strip out of her clothes....right down to her shoes with D10 protesting the entire time.

      Comment


      • #4
        As a new partner myself, I can understand the frustration you are going through. We had the same issues with the school, doctors and caregivers. No one wanted to release any information to us. We started with the teacher, then the principal, after we got no where, we went to the board. Showed them the SA and bf stated that if they did not comply he would seek action against them. The board was very apologetic and it wasn't long after that he started receiving information (when asked). They still don't email or send him copies of things, but if he asks for any updates, he receives them.

        Unfortunately, sometimes CP feel like they own the child (not always the case) and they must attend everything. But remember, if the function is in a public place, she has every right to be there. I personally feel it is great for the children to have both parents are events. As long as those parents can act like adults and not engage in conflict.

        Your partner should go to the school directly to speak to the principal and make the principal aware that if they don't release the required information you will be heading to the Board of Education.

        Best of luck!

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        • #5
          In his motion to change he has requested a letter of direction from the CP indicating she is giving consent for him to be given information by school etc. If she refuses I am sure the judge will want to know why.

          She definately has a control issue. I understand how frustrating it can be for both sides as I am CP to my D13. I have stood beside my ex on occasions, when he decides to show up, and made small talk and smiled for my daughter. My husband just texted me from the even he is at with his D10 right now. The CP is alienating him. So very immature.

          What a wonderful example to set for the child

          Comment


          • #6
            Hate to point out the obvious but most school things are on their websites and signing up for a monthly email is pretty standard.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by murphyslaw View Post
              Hate to point out the obvious but most school things are on their websites and signing up for a monthly email is pretty standard.
              Very true Murphyslaw... however the kids school does not email out newsletters, they do post their monthly newsletters.

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              • #8
                Been there, tried that. Can not sign up for email. The newsletter is public but it seems to be full of announcements about pizza days and student of the month. Thr school calendar lists pa days and stat holidays etc but no specifics about anythhing else.

                My daughters school has a staff list with a school portal where you can email a teacher. Unfortunately my step daughters school doesn't offer this.

                Hopefully this gets worked out in court next month. I'm not holding my breath though. CP stated in affidavit that NCP hasn't been present at any important events. How can he when CP won't share information?

                Comment

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