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  • #61
    Just stating the facts so people know.

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    • #62
      Right - however, as pointed out by other's -- your fact is your opinion.

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      • #63
        These posts morphed into a question of whether the NCP costs are included in the calculations that come up the with table amount.

        The answer is NO. If that doesn't bother you, that's fine, but for some NCP's it's a daily struggle and the costs of seeing their children as much as they would like puts a huge burden on them, even limiting time with their children in some cases.

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        • #64
          If you read the technical document, (I am in the science field, so can follow the math, I know many others can't) it clearly states what I have put into words.

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          • #65
            And yet you can't see the difference in claiming $300/month in acess costs and over $1400/month in access costs. Interesting.

            If your husband has an issue with it he should do something to change his situation. He's not so clearly it isn't that big a problem for him so you're up the creek with your complaints - take it up with him.

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            • #66
              Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
              "Actually all the costs HE incurrs, SHE is assumed to have, and he pays her for them."
              But the reality is, in your actual situation, this report doesn't work either. Why? Simply put, because of you.

              The report basis each separated parent as single. Your husband is not, so this report doesn't fit your actual current scenario. If you are earning an income, you guys should be well above whatever financial treshold provided in that report. Why? Because the report was based off of an individual income for each parent, not two incomes in one household.

              So in essense, it was based off of me as of 2 years ago. A bachelor who had his DD EOW and midweek. The biggest difference between me and your hubby is that I didn't allow my ex to move my child about an 8 hour flight away, and then set myself up for failure by not making her pay for access.

              Yes, we are not given credit for our proportional share we pay towards our children. IMO, we should be able to write off at tax time an amount equal to the proportionate amount provided from each parent to the child using the guidelines. In my situation, I would get to claim about 43% of my DD as my ex makes more then I do.

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              • #67
                blink - I explained this to you, but clearly you can't figure it out LOL.

                I was saying "this month" our access was $1400 etc. If you read my very first post, you'll see that I mention "this month".

                When I was speaking before, In a completely different thread, I was averaging our yearly access costs (which are usually 2 trips around 1500 each plus the minor fees for 2 kids, all divided by 12). It really can't be any clearer, so you can't quit trying to change the topic now.

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                • #68
                  Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
                  What can we do to change this situation, short of going to court?
                  Here is your first question to this tread.

                  Short of court or mediation, you have no remedy to your current situation. You could ask to mediate or possibly arbitrate on the matters at hand at first, but if she refuses, you would be forced to go to court.

                  At court should request that, as she is the parent who removed the children from the other parents location, she be required to cover the costs associated with exercising access, or failing that child support be reduced to by an amount equal to the costs associated with exercising access as the CP decision to move created an unfair burden on the NCP.

                  But outside of asking the courts for relief or the ex being willing to negotiate, there isn't much that can be, legally, done.

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                  • #69
                    The simple fact is the calculations for CS do not allow for the expenses the NCP has to set up house for his children, or his on-going expenses. That is why there is a move to reform CS in alot of states and in Europe. Reasonable people are figuring out this doesn't make sense and can hurt the NCP / child relationship.

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                    • #70
                      HammerDAd - thank you for your response, that's all I was looking for!

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                      • #71
                        Oh good, you feel validated, I hope that fixes everything for you!

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                        • #72
                          I guess you figured it out finally LOL, not that you would ever admit you were wrong.

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                          • #73
                            Originally posted by got2bkid View Post
                            The simple fact is the calculations for CS do not allow for the expenses the NCP has to set up house for his children, or his on-going expenses. That is why there is a move to reform CS in alot of states and in Europe. Reasonable people are figuring out this doesn't make sense and can hurt the NCP / child relationship.
                            If that being so, why hasn't Canada or Ontario jumped aboard for CS reform - I do think if you research the current CS guidelines and how they came to be - you'll find that there was many parliamentary hearings whereby NCP costs were considered in the current CS guidelines as amended. One such example was elimination of CS tax deductions for NCP. Search pre 1997.

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                            • #74
                              Every summer we take my husbands kids for 4 - 6 weeks. Financially, it puts us in the red for the next 6 months. Why?

                              We pay the mother child support, even though the kids are here. (-900/month)

                              We pay for the airfare accross the country (-1470/month)

                              We are still paying off braces and other "extra-ordinary costs" (-250/month)
                              Your post still says the same thing, as you can see. But since you feel you've gotten someone to agree with you and that was all you wanted then it's all irrelevant and the your thread is resolved. Yay!

                              Comment


                              • #75
                                He (NCP) is assumed to be a single person - with ZERO child expenses. EVER.

                                She (CP) is assumed to be a single person with children - with ALL the child expenses.
                                This is different for your hubby's situation how? He sees his kids what? 11% of the year...The other 89% his EX has them. HE HAS NO CHILD EXPENSES FOR HIS KIDS nearly 90% of the time.

                                e is not given any credit for also having to set-up a house for his children
                                Not required for the minimal amount of time you have them. You have made a CHOICE to do this. You could double up the kids bedrooms or have them sleep on a folding cot and accomplish the same thing. Again, choice vs. requirement.

                                having a room for them too
                                See above.

                                having beds, dressers
                                Choice. Choice. Same as above.

                                clothes
                                Covered by the CS he pays. Bio-Momma should be shipping the kids down with a suitcase packed, just like she would for any vacation.

                                toys
                                See above RE: Bio Momma...should be packed, anything else is CHOICE.

                                making sure his car is big enough to transport them.
                                CHOICE. For the minimal amount of time you have them, NOT REQUIRED and doing it that way is actually MORE expensive. (You won't win any arguments with me on what's more cost effective. I do it DAILY for myself, my partner and our 9 children with only a 7 passenger van.) I will guarantee you there is a better way that what you are doing.

                                The calculations are based on the guy dropping off the kids at moms house, and riding off in the sun NEVER to see them again and living the life of a bachelor.
                                Again, this is different from your hubby's situation how? Your posts continually focus on how YOU and YOUR children suffer. You do not seem to get the fact that the reverse is true. Why are his other children any LESS entitled to support than yours are? The two of you made a conscious CHOICE to have additional children, knowing full well he had an obligation to support his existing ones. If you cannot afford the kids, why did you have more? His obligation to his kids does NOT go away simply because he married you and had more.

                                (I am in the science field, so can follow the math, I know many others can't)
                                Gonna call BS on this one. You can't even understand that you need to include 6 grand worth of income into your household, instead rather focusing on the amount of $$$ extra in CS that is directly attributed from the money. The math has been laid out for you already many times, in multiple posts, and you either ignore the facts or cherry pick bits here and bit there. The facts have been explained to you, but instead you have focused time and time again on what you believe to be fair. Unfortunately REALITY is different. No one here is going to argue the system is fair, because it's not. You can't make everyone happy, but at least it's what we ALL have to deal with more of less equally.

                                I'll put it in crayon for you:

                                • Your current situation is only fixable via agreement from the ex or a court order.

                                • Your hubby screwed up big time when he permitted the move away, and screwed up further by not challenging things for the last 8 years. Rightly or wrongly, this was a mistake and fixing it NOW is going to be difficult.

                                • Normal situation like this would be to have the ex cover all or part of the access costs OR have your hubby's CS obligation reduced below tables amounts in proportion to the amount of money he spends to exercise his access. If you fight this in court, THAT is what you need to ask for.

                                • Barring the above, your ONLY OTHER OPTION is to learn to deal with it appropriately. This means finding OTHER WAYS to offset the costs associated. This means finding ways to budget to help with these large (albeit predictable) costs for the 6-8 weeks of the year that you incur them.

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