Absolutely broken

[Where is the Light]

Stillbreathing,

I wish you could read my mind and write my posts for me. Thank you.

[Where is the Light]

Links17,

That was my ex when kids were 3 and a baby (getting a gf when he was married).

I have had no time for a boyfriend over 16 years. I was too busy supporting my kids in school, with therapy (special needs child had occupational therapy, speech therapy, reading therapy, social skills building, psychiatry for his anxiety and oppositional defiant disorder), and the list goes on. My youngest has had hockey 5 days a week for about 7 years. I went to school and just graduated after 3 years. I HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY with parent-teacher meetings, my ex fighting me in court for 3 years but only about money, always about money.

You are a very mean spirited something or other. I wouldn't call you a human being.

For the record, my children would still come before any man!

[Where is the Light]

ele110,

Thank you so very much for your shared story and piece of advice.

God bless,

[arabian]

I commend you and anyone else who takes time out of their busy schedules to do volunteer work.

Decades ago when I was young it was socially expected that people participate in some way with volunteering for worthy causes. I started to ask the question many years ago when I wondered out loud to a friend why there weren't any Boy Scouts out collecting bottles? When I was young (age 10+) most of my peers were involved in some sort of organization which raised money for charity or gave their time volunteering. Kids nowadays, the "ME" generation only seem to raise money to fund their school trips. This is a real shame. Kids nowadays will never know the rewarding feeling of helping those who are less fortunate.

I would therefore recommend parents get their children involved in some sort of activity which promotes charitable giving and volunteering. It doesn't hurt children to have first-hand insight into how the less-fortunate live.... a wake-up-call of sorts.

My son (adult) can be an absolute perfect gentleman and then he can also be an absolute ahole. His behavior as a teenager was good and I attribute this to his involvement with other children who shared similar values. He belonged to a youth organization which promoted altruism. His poor behavior is a reminder to me that he needs a "refresher" in charitable deeds and thoughts and that I need to disassociate myself from him when he is disrespectful or rude.

As parents we have had it drilled into our heads that unconditional love is paramount. I believe in that, however, I do think that being a doormat is self-destructive behavior and boundaries need to be reinforced.

I once asked my doctor why it seemed to me that Chinese children are better-behaved than caucasian children. My doctor simply expressed his view that a) Chinese are more intelligent (LOL) and b) Chinese families shun poor behavior and reward good behavior.... a child displays poor behavior and is ignored. I often wonder if there is any merit in this?