Can anyone offer general and/or specific advice as I get ready to attend mediation? ("Five-way" mediation, with our lawyers)
Background
He has only agreed to attend because I offered to pay the entire cost of the first three hour session. Significant emotional/psychological issues (he believes nothing is ever his fault in the relationship and all issues are due to my struggles with depression). Significant counselling mainly made things worse.
Two main mediation issues: agreeing on an equity payout to him so I can keep the house (his main concern) and custody/access of our child (my main concern).
Our child is just over 2 years. Separated for 6 months. I have always been the primary caregiver. While together Dad complained of the stress of being left with our child when I wanted to go out to run errands or do something on my own. When I left he was clearly threatening to "punish" me by pursuing a 50/50 custody arrangement.
For seven months I've ensured that he has not gone more than one or two days without seeing her. He's a good Dad and they love each other.
I am ready to effectively waive child support (in a creative legalese fashion), agree to a substantial increase in access and to joint decision making with a built-in dispute resolution mechanism. HOWEVER I will not consider 50/50 until our child is in at least Grade 1 or 2. He will have to fight me in court as I believe in my core it is not in her best interests at this age. I know there are SO many views on this and I appreciate all of them - it is just what I feel in my gut in our situation.
CAN ANYONE OFFER ANY VIEWS OR EXPERIENCE ON HOW TO MAKE THIS DREAM/FANTASY A REALITY AT MEDIATION?
I know it's mainly out of my hands. I know what I will and will not give in to and give up. I know what matters most to me and it's not money.
Just putting this out there to access the collective wisdom. Thanks.
Background
He has only agreed to attend because I offered to pay the entire cost of the first three hour session. Significant emotional/psychological issues (he believes nothing is ever his fault in the relationship and all issues are due to my struggles with depression). Significant counselling mainly made things worse.
Two main mediation issues: agreeing on an equity payout to him so I can keep the house (his main concern) and custody/access of our child (my main concern).
Our child is just over 2 years. Separated for 6 months. I have always been the primary caregiver. While together Dad complained of the stress of being left with our child when I wanted to go out to run errands or do something on my own. When I left he was clearly threatening to "punish" me by pursuing a 50/50 custody arrangement.
For seven months I've ensured that he has not gone more than one or two days without seeing her. He's a good Dad and they love each other.
I am ready to effectively waive child support (in a creative legalese fashion), agree to a substantial increase in access and to joint decision making with a built-in dispute resolution mechanism. HOWEVER I will not consider 50/50 until our child is in at least Grade 1 or 2. He will have to fight me in court as I believe in my core it is not in her best interests at this age. I know there are SO many views on this and I appreciate all of them - it is just what I feel in my gut in our situation.
CAN ANYONE OFFER ANY VIEWS OR EXPERIENCE ON HOW TO MAKE THIS DREAM/FANTASY A REALITY AT MEDIATION?
I know it's mainly out of my hands. I know what I will and will not give in to and give up. I know what matters most to me and it's not money.
Just putting this out there to access the collective wisdom. Thanks.
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