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  • Off schedule visits

    Can a parent who has every other weekend access as per court order simply visit the child(ren) at school without custodial parent's knowledge/permission?

    History is high conflict, often with the school caught in the middle. Obviously, they want to avoid potential conflict and legal issues.

    Can custodial parent request that the school stop her at the door? Can school do this on their own as a matter of policy?

    This isn't a one time occurrence.



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  • #2
    Originally posted by YYZDaddy View Post
    Can a parent who has every other weekend access as per court order simply visit the child(ren) at school without custodial parent's knowledge/permission?

    History is high conflict, often with the school caught in the middle. Obviously, they want to avoid potential conflict and legal issues.

    Can custodial parent request that the school stop her at the door? Can school do this on their own as a matter of policy?

    This isn't a one time occurrence.



    Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
    To clarify, primary access parent has sole custody.

    Non-custodial parent is visiting after regular class hours, but during extended care time. This time is frequently used for work catchup or remedial help.



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    • #3
      That's a tough one. It is definitely not cool for the "visiting" parent to just drop in like that, but it isn't the school's business to stop it. From my experience with out-of-school care centres, they are not party to any orders between the parents and therefore aren't required to enforce agreements about who has access to the child when.

      Is the visiting parent disrupting the activities of the centre and interfering with the programming? In that case, there's a security issue and the director of the centre could ask the "visiting" parent to leave (as the care centres are not public property), and follow up with sanctions for trespassing, including calling police if necessary. But that's a nuclear option.

      However, if the "visiting" parent is just talking to the child quietly, the care centre doesn't have grounds to stop them, because they can't stop a parent from visiting his/her child (and they don't want the drama that would ensue if they got between parent and kid).

      So the short answer to your question is no, I don't think you can ask the out-of-school centre to stop the visiting parent at the door unless the parent poses a true security risk to the programme.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by stripes View Post
        So the short answer to your question is no, I don't think you can ask the out-of-school centre to stop the visiting parent at the door unless the parent poses a true security risk to the programme.
        Thanks... this is pretty much what I expected. In a more cooperative divorce, having the other parent pop in on occasion wouldn't at all be an issue. The high conflict history here is concerning.

        While ex is not entitled to access during my access time, there is little that can be done unless it becomes disruptive to his school, or interfering with my access time. Back to documenting and establishing patterns. ;-)

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        • #5
          I think Dadx5 had this happening...maybe do a search through his posts. His ex was causing problems at the school with his daughter.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by rockscan View Post
            I think Dadx5 had this happening...maybe do a search through his posts. His ex was causing problems at the school with his daughter.
            Good to know, thank you



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            • #7
              Is there any harm in the other parent being there and incolved? Is the school complaining its disruptive or is it helpful to have a parent there helping the child wifh extra learning and being involved? What is the actual issue other than it's "your time"?

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              • #8
                Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                Is there any harm in the other parent being there and incolved? Is the school complaining its disruptive or is it helpful to have a parent there helping the child wifh extra learning and being involved? What is the actual issue other than it's "your time"?
                Prior to the order being in place, there were frequent disruptions to his class time, conflicts with the school, directly interfering with my time, etc.

                As I said, with a normal cooperative couple, there would be no issue.

                The school has made it clear that they will no longer tolerate such disruptions. I want to help that happen, while not putting myself in a position of being the jerk parent.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by YYZDaddy View Post
                  Prior to the order being in place, there were frequent disruptions to his class time, conflicts with the school, directly interfering with my time, etc.

                  As I said, with a normal cooperative couple, there would be no issue.

                  The school has made it clear that they will no longer tolerate such disruptions. I want to help that happen, while not putting myself in a position of being the jerk parent.

                  Sent from my HTC One_M8 using Tapatalk
                  then let the school deal with her if it becomes a disruption. That way you are off the hook.

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                  • #10
                    After regular class during daycare unless the parent is making a scene i cant imagine it would be a disruption, not to mention this is no longer 'school', its EDP, so it would ve up to EDP to determine if it's disruptuve and deal with it. Perhaps if the other parent is there to help the kid themselves, remedial help isnt necessary.

                    Comment

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