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My abusive x seeking full custody!!

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  • #31
    Originally posted by billiechic View Post
    It seems that you may be a little sensitive to critisicm at this time. I understand you are stressed and looking for help. Some of the things people say on here might seem harsh, but they are usually right. Maybe if you step back a little and try not to get defensive you might find something useful.

    If you take a look back at the first post I made (and the first posts of many of the other posters here) you will find that we also got similar treatment. It does fel like a slap in the face, but it really helped. If you manage to stick it out here I'm sure you will change your mind about DTTE and anyone else here who offended you. He may come off as harsh, but his words are invaluable.

    Thanks Billie

    My response to DTTE telling him I look forward to any support or "constructive" criticism hed like to share with me in the future was very genuine.
    I do not hold grudges


    -C

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    • #32
      Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
      No DadTo was responding to your earlier statement that you aren't trying to be judgemental.

      Nice choice of words. I wonder what kind of shit storm would come up if I called you a bitch.

      Hey, you are right, I hang around here a lot. Sometimes too much. Sometimes I take a break but I always come back, if only to tell silly rabbits that tricks are for kids.

      Don't kid yourself though. I have an afternoon tee time at a beautiful golf course with 3 of my many friends, and after that we'll we'll go for a few holiday wings and beers. And I won't be thinking about the forum then.

      Good luck to you pally.
      Not sure how to use those fancy quotes if I want to break it up into smaller pieces so you'll hopefully excuse my old fashioned quotations.

      What you said verbatim is;

      "Of course you're judging. You've been judging his worthiness as a parent. It's your job. Call a spade a spade for Pete's sake."

      Thank you, I agree.

      When the other poster said;

      "After reading that post, I think the analysis of you being judgemental is completely bang on"

      she had obviously not read through the thread and assumed you were admonishing me for being judgmental. Which clearly is not the case here.


      "Nice choice of words. I wonder what kind of shit storm would come up if I called you a bitch."

      In saying that you pretty much did just call me a bitch. I don't think there's going to be much of a shitstorm but I will say that I do not think of myself as a bitch nor feel I've treated you unfairly. Youre entitled to your opinion.

      "I have an afternoon tee time at a beautiful golf course with 3 of my many friends, and after that we'll we'll go for a few holiday wings and beers"

      Have fun!

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Mess View Post
        Unfortunately when you post on a forum you have to take what comes. If you aren't interested, your option is not to read. You don't have the option of telling other people what to do or not do. That's his ex-wife's job.
        I have the option to ask, and he then has the option to ignore me and continue.

        I then have the option to respond in kind.

        Hooray for options!

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        • #34
          Originally posted by UniversityMom View Post
          I have the option to ask, and he then has the option to ignore me and continue.

          I then have the option to respond in kind.

          Hooray for options!
          Maybe I missed it - but has the other parent commenced court action against you?

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          • #35
            Originally posted by logicalvelocity View Post
            Maybe I missed it - but has the other parent commenced court action against you?

            Yes

            he is seeking "sole custody" with limited access attacking my cred as a mother, he's really going all out. I don't think he has a chance in hell of actually winning the only truth to his abundance of claims is that I am depressed.
            I am depressed, but I don't let it effect my daughters life.
            If I have to stand in the grocery store having a panic attack to buy my daughter milk, I do it.
            I don't care how scared/anxious/sad/whatever I am I do what needs to be done for my kid.
            He gets bouts of anxiety/depression far more frequently than I do. Of course ideally my daughter would have no parents with either problem but that's not the case, whacha gonna do?
            My mother is financing him despite not knowing me or my daughter since she was born (probably because of this fact). She has severe untreated bi polar disorder and I decided I didn't want that in my life.

            there's a heap of stressful stuff happening all at once and I don't have any friends or family where I just moved too.

            It's been tough.

            Comment


            • #36
              and where is the child primarily living now? What is the child's access to each parent?

              Comment


              • #37
                I live in Vancouver and my daughter lives with me. Her father has 100% open ended access If he said "I am coming such and such" I make arrangements for that to work out, if he said "Id like to take her for such and such amount of time" I'd make it work.
                He ends up calling a few times a month and visiting once or twice a year.

                When I lived only blocks from him I would practically have to beg him not to miss his scheduled visits and he usually did anyway. Now I live far away and it has proven even more difficult to arrange visitation of course.

                When my husband and I worked we offered to help B financially to visit more often but he never took us up on the offer. I have expressed several times to B the desire to move closer to him and also my fear, uncertainty etc etc on how to do it.. Rather than offer me any help he is just brutally trying to take our daughter.. It makes 0 rational sense to me.

                he has told so many blatant lies to his family, friends and the court to make me look terrible. I know that if I had to blatantly LIE to get people on my side I'd feel like I probably didn't have much of one to begin with.

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                • #38
                  How long have you been living in BC? Where is the other parent and grandmother living?

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                  • #39
                    I've been here about 9 months now. My mother and E's father live in Ontario.

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by UniversityMom View Post
                      I've been here about 9 months now. My mother and E's father live in Ontario.
                      Strange -- I have every indication to believe your in Ontario....

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by UniversityMom View Post
                        I judged his overall worth by disagreeing with him? well I'm going to have to disagree with you now. I hope you don't think I'm judging your overall worth over it.

                        I told "DTTE" I look forward to any constructive or supportive things he'd like to share with me in the future but I'm disinterested in his abrasive spelling critique.
                        I don't hold a grudge
                        I didn't say you judged his overall worth by disagreeing him. My comment was based on THESE comments you seem to forget making:

                        Originally Posted by UniversityMom
                        DADTO: I notice you around the boards a LOT..
                        I notice you find the time to answer prettymuch everyone and everything really quickly.

                        You`re not getting paid for this and as far as I can tell other than the lip service gratitude of giving you a fancy poster status you`ve got no more or less power on here than anyone else.

                        Perhaps I`m wrong, feel free to correct me if you`re actually important here.

                        I know you have a gang of friends here. I`m sure your friendships have been a valuable source of support and entertainment and I do not mean to imply that you are unimportant to your pals on the forum.
                        I do however maintain that whoever owns the board here likely doesn`t know or care that you exist and your entire demeaner would suggest otherwise. *eye roll*

                        The tone of your answers and the complete lack of class you display when someones minor spelling or board posting infractions irritate you make me literally Laugh outloud.

                        Maybe youre not aware what internet forum addiction can do to a person but I`m gonna let you in on a little secret.

                        When you spend too much time (as you clearly do here) in an internet place, you get bored. With boredom comes much much less tolerance for anything even remotely annoying. In your case, spelling. When you`re annoyed youre no longer enjoying yourself, thus creating the cycle of the miserable internet addict.

                        I am effective in communicating my ideas so your intolerance of my careless spelling is your problem. Don`t make it mine.

                        Kindly do not post snarky replies to anything I say, I`m not interested in your opinion on my grammar. If it is to poor for you to bear simply move along and do not comment.

                        I welcome and look forward to any positive or constructive things you`d like to share with me in the future
                        Last edited by blinkandimgone; 05-23-2010, 08:32 PM. Reason: the voices told me to...

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          I keep blinking..but you're still here.

                          Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                          I didn't say you judged his overall worth by disagreeing him. My comment was based on THESE comments you seem to forget making:
                          I am not judging his overall worth as a human being by asking him not to be rude to me.

                          Please drop this is doesn't concern you.

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by UniversityMom View Post
                            I am not judging his overall worth as a human being by asking him not to be rude to me.

                            Please drop this is doesn't concern you.
                            You really know how to skirt don't you? You posted on an open forum, you don't get to decide who replies and who doesn't. If you don't like it, too bad.

                            Since you're either trying to completely skirt the point or really are too dense to get it, I'll be more specific for you.

                            Maybe youre not aware what internet forum addiction can do to a person but I`m gonna let you in on a little secret.

                            When you spend too much time (as you clearly do here) in an internet place, you get bored. With boredom comes much much less tolerance for anything even remotely annoying. In your case, spelling. When you`re annoyed youre no longer enjoying yourself, thus creating the cycle of the miserable internet addict.
                            THAT is the part I was referring to.

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                            • #44
                              UniMom is making about 7X the number of posts per day as DTTE is. I guess she knows a lot about internet addiction.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by Mess View Post
                                UniMom is making about 7X the number of posts per day as DTTE is. I guess she knows a lot about internet addiction.
                                I just started a few days ago, and it's a long weekend. Come back to me with statistics when It's been a few months. I'm sure you'll still be here and you'll probably still care

                                Comment

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