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  • #16
    What do you mean? From the career I can no longer work? Or from the last 5 years of history?

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    • #17
      Originally posted by billiechic View Post
      My ex is refusing to pay his child support unless I either agree to mediate the amount or go in front of a judge.
      Seems reasonable. Shared custody child support is not even remotely cut and dry. You can negotiate or you can go to court. I'm not sure I understand what is the problem here.

      I work full time and run a small business part time. It's network marketing, it doesn't add a lot to my income, reduces it some due to expenses.
      Are you using your business expenses to reduce your income from your full time job?

      If so, I wouldn't accept that either.

      I know CS is not negotiable normally
      For salaried people, in a situation where one parent has at least 60% custody, then child support is not negotiable. In every other situation it is.

      The business is not separate yet.
      What do you mean by that?

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      • #18
        It is reasonable not to pay a dime of support? For all my years on this board all I have heard is that the last thing a judge will tolerate is someone who withholds child support! Whether the amount is up for debate, he should at least be paying the minimum offset which he could calculate based on all my income (not addressing my business expenses). He has all the info to do that.

        I claimed my business expenses on my taxes because that is what the government requires us to do. It is not intentional to reduce child support. However it does change my line 150. I realize this makes this an exception.

        My business is part time right now. It is still claimed on my personal income taxes.

        In the majority of cases shared support IS cut and dry. It's the offset method. Which is what we have been using.

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        • #19
          Self-help remedies (refusing to pay support) are indeed frowned on upon the court. If a court order exists then your ex is obligated to pay what is ordered. This is why maintenance enforcement agencies exist.

          Self-employment income (part-time or full-time) can be a contentious issue. Rightfully so, as many people assume that what the government allows for tax purposes automatically is accepted by court for purposes of determining income for support. Much case law has shown that this is not the case.

          You can either mediate between the two of you to determine which expenses would be acceptable to reduce your line 150 or you can have a judge decide for you.

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          • #20
            Thank you Arabian.
            After the mediation I will have to file a motion, since our court order is 5 years outdated and I am the offset payor in that order.

            I realize what government allows is not the same as family Court. I consulted a lawyer and she said what I was calculating was correct. However I think it is best I ask with more detail. Maybe she needs to see exactly which deductions are in there..my training, fees for board memberships, business expenses.
            I'm not looking for the man to pay me the max. My child needs what is fair. I paid on time every time and the correct amount for 4 years. Because it was for my child. I just want him to do the same. At this point she is missing out on any extras because I can't scrape the money together.

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            • #21
              so offset was in place and you paid him as you had higher income

              you then left the job started a part time business and used expenses to reduce income so he would have to pay you. why didn't you stay at job with higher income? Why isn't your business full time? Just some questions a judge might have.

              how much were you paying him initialy. how much was he paying you before he stopped paying?

              is he perhaps asking for no child support? it's not unreasonable to not order any child support when the amount is insignificant. is it worth all administrative overhead. tax dollars . odf resource time for $80 a month? mediation and trial for $80 a month? I don't think so.

              go to mediation and try to work out something fair like zero child support. I'm sure your income will go back up someday and you'll have to pay him. with zero child support you can make as much as you want and would never have to pay him. think long run.
              Last edited by trinton; 05-06-2017, 01:49 PM.

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              • #22
                I would think that you would be obligated to pay for your full-time job. Multi-level marketing (attending rah-rah seminars at hotels on weekends) are highly questionable business expenses. Your income for the part-time work was 4,000.00 you say and your expenses were 8,000.00? Doesn't sound like it is a very good use of your time or a good business to be involved in.

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                • #23
                  I am a coach. I have 2 part time businesses, one is network marketing and the other is a mindset coach. I am training for it to go full time..
                  No, I did not quit a job. My contract ended due to the loss of government funding. I spent almost a year interviewing for jobs in my field, the field I was in for 12 years and respected. Due to a health issue I cannot do all the jobs that I could before. So I finally had to accept a job not in my field, that paid much less, so I could support my family. It had nothing to do with how much child support I could get. It had to do with me being a responsible adult and doing what was right and just and working for my family, whatever it may be.
                  And so I am building part time my options to improve my income and opportunity. I have to do a new career that will continue to be possible if my health gets worse. That costs money and as I am actually practicing my coaching part time, and getting paid, I must claim both my income earned at it, and my expenses, just link any other person who starts a business.
                  For anyone who has ever started a business... expenses will ALWAYS exceed earnings at the beginning. It has no bearing on whether it's a good business to be in. It is an investment. And down the road HE will benefit as my income increases too.

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                  • #24
                    why don't you work at McDonald's or burger king on your free time then?

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                    • #25
                      @trinton..that is a low dig.
                      And I don't have to justify and answer.
                      But I will. Because I choose to invest my time and money into something that will have a chance of becoming a career and improve my family's life. Because I am passionate about helping people change their lives and serving a hamburger with a smile is not going to do that.
                      Why did you chose the career you are in? Why did you choose the partner you did? Why did you choose to shop at longos instead of food basics?
                      How is my choice relevant to the question I posed at the beginning: whether child support amount should be mediated or not?
                      I'm not asking for your personal opinions about my life and how YOU or anyone else thinks I should live it.
                      I asked a procedural question about child support. I think I have given enough situational explanation to get good feedback

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                        @trinton..that is a low dig.
                        And I don't have to justify and answer.
                        But I will. Because I choose to invest my time and money into something that will have a chance of becoming a career and improve my family's life. Because I am passionate about helping people change their lives and serving a hamburger with a smile is not going to do that.
                        Why did you chose the career you are in? Why did you choose the partner you did? Why did you choose to shop at longos instead of food basics?
                        How is my choice relevant to the question I posed at the beginning: whether child support amount should be mediated or not?
                        I'm not asking for your personal opinions about my life and how YOU or anyone else thinks I should live it.
                        I asked a procedural question about child support. I think I have given enough situational explanation to get good feedback

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                        no no it's not a personal thing and I'm actually on your side. just thinking of questions a judge may have.

                        It's not about you or your future. it's about your kids and whats best for your kids now. why should your kids miss out or your partner pay your dues cuz you don't want to flip burgers and want to only work only a few hours a day for your own personal luxury?

                        I'm in i.t. I should be in school finishing engineering but took a job so my child could benefit NOW. yes I continue my schooling part time but I maintain the same income and take it higher every year. if I lost my job would I do what you're doing and refuse to work at fastfood crap? probably. would a judge be okay with it? probably not.

                        just agree to no child support and walk. go take a vacation. is this seriously worth an extra $80 a month? is it worth the stress? not even worth my 5 minutes of time to reply to this.
                        Last edited by trinton; 05-06-2017, 03:02 PM.

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                        • #27
                          Billiechic... don't waste your time on Trinton... it's because you're a female trying to figure out CS. Situation reversed Trinton would be urging Dad to go after mom for CS because his income was down.

                          The question at hand has been answered I believe. Mediation is always the best place to start. Going to court should be the last option. Start with mediation and if things can't be resolved then file in court.


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                          • #28
                            Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                            I am a coach. I have 2 part time businesses, one is network marketing and the other is a mindset coach. I am training for it to go full time..
                            No, I did not quit a job. My contract ended due to the loss of government funding. I spent almost a year interviewing for jobs in my field, the field I was in for 12 years and respected. Due to a health issue I cannot do all the jobs that I could before. So I finally had to accept a job not in my field, that paid much less, so I could support my family. It had nothing to do with how much child support I could get. It had to do with me being a responsible adult and doing what was right and just and working for my family, whatever it may be.
                            And so I am building part time my options to improve my income and opportunity. I have to do a new career that will continue to be possible if my health gets worse. That costs money and as I am actually practicing my coaching part time, and getting paid, I must claim both my income earned at it, and my expenses, just link any other person who starts a business.
                            For anyone who has ever started a business... expenses will ALWAYS exceed earnings at the beginning. It has no bearing on whether it's a good business to be in. It is an investment. And down the road HE will benefit as my income increases too.

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                            I wish you the very best success in your business endeavors.

                            I have indeed owned and operated several businesses (the types which require considerable outlay of cash and actually employ people).

                            You will have to convince your ex and judge (if you get that far) of the validity of your "business" and expenses. Good luck with the part where you have to show money you paid your sponsor (to train you for coaching?) is a legitimate business expense and not a pyramid scheme of sorts.

                            Don't get me wrong - I do hope you succeed. I just want you to be aware of the skepticism you will likely encounter.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                              Billiechic... don't waste your time on Trinton... it's because you're a female trying to figure out CS. Situation reversed Trinton would be urging Dad to go after mom for CS because his income was down.
                              Nope. I would say the same thing situation reversed. A father in her position would get eaten alive in family court.

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                              • #30
                                Arabian I did not pay anyone in network marketing to train me. The training is in my coaching career, I have certifications from 3 recognized boards and the trainers are certified to train in those boards. If the judge cares to dig that far for an issue of $4000 then I can certainly bring proof of both my payments and my certificates. They are welcome to call the boards themselves.

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