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  • Benefits package..will I be required?

    Just fine tuning our separation agreement...while through my work there is no set amount taken off for my benefits package...can I be mandated to keep my STBX on benefits until divorce?....I realize that once we divorce she is off completely (while the kids remain)....and further once this agreement gets signed - and in a year she applies for divorce....can she then ask for an increase in SS to assist her with obtaining benefits?...and would the courts agree?....I suppose anything is possible...just wondered if someone has dealt with this sort of thing.

  • #2
    I'd be interested in finding out about this too.
    No kids in my situation but I am paying for 'family' coverage through work on dental/medical plan but can I change it back to 'single' and have my STBX left without coverage? We have only been separated a month, so almost a year until we'll sign off on divorce.

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    • #3
      Part of my divorce agreement was to keep my X on my work benefits and she is also my life insurance beneficiary through work .This was also mandated through my divorce agreement . this agreement is forever
      It is a real bummer that i cannot include my present wife on my benefits .

      Comment


      • #4
        Your X is your life ins. Beneficiary??!!

        That's a rough deal Bols2Dawall.
        I actually just submitted a change of beneficiary for my work life insurance policy. We haven't signed any agreement yet but he wouldn't be smart enough to think of that as a condition. Am waiting for a letter to cancel my other $0.5 million policy he is the sole beneficiary on. Staying indoors until I get that back! lol

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        • #5
          You are not obligated to keep your ex on your benefits. Even in marriage you are not obligated to maintain benefits for them.

          I do suggest as a show of good faith you keep her on until your divorce is final.

          She would not be entitled to getting more SS to cover off the costs of benefits once hers runs out through your employer. You pay yours and she would have to pay her own.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Bols2Dawall View Post
            Part of my divorce agreement was to keep my X on my work benefits and she is also my life insurance beneficiary through work .This was also mandated through my divorce agreement . this agreement is forever
            It is a real bummer that i cannot include my present wife on my benefits .
            I can not believe you signed an agreement that stated you would have to provide your ex with a lifetime of benefits.

            At the very least you should remove her as the beneficiary and appoint your new wife as the beneficiary.

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            • #7
              cashcow4ex

              A little bit harsh on the poster without knowing the details of his circumstance. I only point this out as it is an important detail, such a very important detail in fact that will certainly affect my ability to continue on a monthly basis even with help. I will have some assets but I have figured and figured and....... it is a tight spot for the sole fact that I remain unemployable and this will not forseeably change with the length of time I have had to be on disability. There is not enough assets to get through this. Said before, I deserve to live with at least a little bit of dignity.

              Point of fact though....... (lawyer comments to me) there are indeed many issues that are taken into consideration when it comes to support and one of them is cost to live. It was one of the first questions I brought up and his response was there is something of fact today, "You are on disability and she IS supporting you now. Divorce will not change your need for support and divorce will not change your wife's obligation to you in this regard". "Look at it this way, you are attached at the hip financially now and you will seperate but I have to accept that I will depend on her greatly and she will learn that she will remain obligated to continue the support she has provided for many years now.

              Trust me when I say, "If there was another way - but it breaks my spirit to know that this guy was right." This is not about gouging or laziness or leeching. It is about finding a way that we both can survive. It will be hard on both of us - I understand this 1000%

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              • #8
                A reply to the benificiary - In my case (again the words of the lawyer) it will be a manditory requirement as part of my settlement that should she be unable to continue support (say she passes on) then she will need to be insured to allow support to continue if I indeed survive her. The other aspect for this support, I leave her on as beneficiary (although I seriously doubt I would ever be able to remarry) so she can at least have an easier life even if I do remarry.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by cashcow4ex View Post
                  I can not believe you signed an agreement that stated you would have to provide your ex with a lifetime of benefits.
                  At the very least you should remove her as the beneficiary and appoint your new wife as the beneficiary.
                  I signed the agreement because had i not she'd be getting $1400.00 / month instead of the 700.00 i pay now .
                  She was injured during our 14 year marriage and cannot or will not work .
                  apparently the powers that be find i should now support her for the rest of her life . Uhhhh , i didn't injure her so i don't get it .
                  Anyway shes on my benefits and life insurance through my employer .

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ddol1 View Post
                    cashcow4ex

                    A little bit harsh on the poster without knowing the details of his circumstance. I only point this out as it is an important detail, such a very important detail in fact that will certainly affect my ability to continue on a monthly basis even with help. I will have some assets but I have figured and figured and....... it is a tight spot for the sole fact that I remain unemployable and this will not forseeably change with the length of time I have had to be on disability. There is not enough assets to get through this. Said before, I deserve to live with at least a little bit of dignity.

                    Point of fact though....... (lawyer comments to me) there are indeed many issues that are taken into consideration when it comes to support and one of them is cost to live. It was one of the first questions I brought up and his response was there is something of fact today, "You are on disability and she IS supporting you now. Divorce will not change your need for support and divorce will not change your wife's obligation to you in this regard". "Look at it this way, you are attached at the hip financially now and you will seperate but I have to accept that I will depend on her greatly and she will learn that she will remain obligated to continue the support she has provided for many years now.

                    Trust me when I say, "If there was another way - but it breaks my spirit to know that this guy was right." This is not about gouging or laziness or leeching. It is about finding a way that we both can survive. It will be hard on both of us - I understand this 1000%
                    I understand your position and I am sorry that you find yourself unemployable. However disability/Gov't I would think should cover the costs of your illness/injury would it not?

                    What do people do that work and do not have benefits at their employment. They either live with just the free healh coverage offered by the Gov't or purchase a policy on thier own. How would you be getting by had you not gotten married?

                    Just because the courts rule in favor of things dont always make them fair or right.

                    I dont think its fair that a person can not cover their new spouse on their employment health benefits because they have to maintain benefits for their ex who in Canada has free health care and can purchase a seperate policy to cover the things the Gov't doesn't.

                    Also what would happen if the ex's employer would not allow the coverage to continue after the divorce? Should that person now go out and pay for a seperate coverage for their ex?

                    Just 1 persons opinion.
                    Last edited by cashcow4ex; 11-11-2011, 10:15 AM.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bols2Dawall View Post
                      I signed the agreement because had i not she'd be getting $1400.00 / month instead of the 700.00 i pay now .
                      She was injured during our 14 year marriage and cannot or will not work .
                      apparently the powers that be find i should now support her for the rest of her life . Uhhhh , i didn't injure her so i don't get it .
                      Anyway shes on my benefits and life insurance through my employer .
                      That is complete horseshit. You got hosed my friend. I guess I should be thankful that my employer would not cover an ex-spouse.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        top of the evening caashcow4ex!

                        I wrote another book today! but if you care to understand the plight of a minority (my perspective at least) and the struggle to live on - remember in my case we have been married a long time, longer than most couples that face the difficulties we faced as a couple from day one we conquered and we had done a pretty darn good job providing a home for our children and nobody can take that from us - even ourselves. I guess this is my way of speaking up for what often is a forgotten group - a group nobody deserves to be part of - sadly though every day the numbers grow....

                        One of my touchy points if you haven't figured out by now is the survival of someone like myself who was far from lazy, who gave it all to my family and I do not regret one moment even under these trying conditions. What most people do not think about, and rightfully so is what happens to our life if tommorow I can't work. Most people do not think about this because the answer is pretty bleek. The disabiled people are really a group of society that is indeed left in the corner left to make it with well Nothing! Yes there is the basic like the handibus transport that a 30 minute doctorappointment now will take 7 hours return because the pickup is not until 4 pm downtown. (leave it right there - stop for 30 seconds and think what will my life be if - I would never work again because you are unemployable period)

                        Benefits - In Ontario you are better off than say Alberta for sure - thank god I moved from there to here in time! There is a program called trillium for approved medications. This program is available to all Ontarioians based on income alone. Dental, orthotics, heearing, special shoes things like physiotherapy are nil to heavily ristricted at best - dental is the worst.
                        If you have an rrsp, a home, a car worth $5,000 (there is a cash limit as well how much not sure but it is low for sure..... maybe $2000.) Have any one of these and you are not elegable for the other programs. The city has some special grants again only for the very worst off.

                        I am thankful that i do have some assets because I worked hard and saved money while not worrying about keeping up with the Jones's period. No vacation in 20 years? new car - never! I am happy with the three or four year old car and keep it going as long as it remains reliable. My issues medically dictates i need reliable transportation because i have trouble walking around the block never mind what might be if the car breaks down in nowhere land. I am happy. At least I was until a few years ago and it ended up being a member on this site. One day I will be happy, sort of stress free, look forward to tomorrow, worth while to get up today.

                        But help from other social benefits? there is none for someone in my circumstance - and I am thankful i am where I am today but math lets me know I won't have enough to last as long as I need it to. When the day comes that I basically have nothing left in my name - I will be finally elif\gable for the government benefits and I hope this day never comes.. (I am in the position that my CPP age 65 paension will be less than half of yours and now I won't have any way to really make up for this - I lost this the day my wife asked for her divorce. But I won't go down without a fight - in the end I am a survivor, i had to be, I will continue to be....)

                        It can be better to be on welfare (ontario Works) because then perscriptions, dental, hearing and other is covered. For many the benefits are worth more than teh money they recieve to try and pay rent and buy food - but you have to be able to be employed to qualify!

                        ODSP is another program for the destitute - I admit advice has suggested that they may allow me to qualify not for payments but maybe some benefits will open up - this will be great if my main plan sticks..... to have her keep me on her benefits but I am also doing the legwork on the worse case outcome from this divorce so I will be at least ready. If I don't I will be in a bad way because I just do not have the energy/staying power to do much of anything at one time. Remember my life is one of pacing to my limits or ability to function - to exceed that puts me in a bad way quickly.

                        So I respect the opinions of others here, even the ones I do not agree with because they come from a different place than I. Some people are getting screwed from a poor divorce system. I am sure if we could have our vote counted to have a system that allowed a fair settlement that truely is reflective of at least the length of marriage. No matter how anyone looks at it - there does come a point that the hot topic of support is justified for life. Part being that marriage is or should be a lifelong commitment - divorce is a breaking of that contract at midstream and it should leave a couple even after divorce to remain socially obligated to each other if this is what needs to be done.

                        I have moved away from the issue of benifits, or did I??? I supposse I would like to see posters here show a little more respect to the minority here - those who are a minority even if they fight everyday to be never looked upon as anything but husbands, wives, ex or otherwise - people who work everyday to do the best they can. Afterall is this not standard we all should stand by - to do the best we can everyday even if divorce means the need to rely on continued support because at the end of the day did we not marry "for betteror for worse, sickness and......"

                        Just to live with dignity, to retain???? I am out of words !!! (not often I can state that!!) But I have at least been heard by a few and maybe a few will retain just a little bit of this plight and this makes this effort worthwhile, at least for me.

                        See you on the forums!!

                        Comment

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