Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How should I approach this...

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • How should I approach this...

    When my 3 year old step daughter got dropped off this weekend she had a nice new spring coat on, I found this odd as it is a Spring coat and why the heck would you buy that and put it on the child when its starting to get cold... so I have my Step-Daughters winter coat at my house and when her mother came to pick her up on Sunday we tried to give it to her, but she said she already bought her a winter coat (the one she was wearing) and she didn't need it, my boyfriend was like "that's not a winter coat" and she replied "yes it is". It clearly isn't, the child will freeze in it at -10 for sure, even with a hoodie underneath.

    So what do I do, how should I approach this? Her mother is SUPER stubborn and very difficult to talk to or reason with, I mean the child is 3, but very tall, she wears my 5 year old clothes, but her mother still dresses her in things 24 months or 2T. I send her at least 2 bags of clothing each season since she never buys her clothes. As it is last year she was wearing a 18month coat, so I went and got her a new coat that is down filled and nice and warm. Her Dad doesn't want confrontations, so I don't think he'll say anything more but I'm so worried that she is going to freeze in the winter if the mother doesn't take the proper winter coat. I'm even considering taking my step-daughter while I'm on Mat. Leave just to ensure she won't freeze. Her mother won't care she's always asking us to take her more.

    What would you do?

  • #2
    Well, I would 'lose' the sping coat somehow during her next visit. Return her in the winter coat. If her Mom asks about the spring jacket, say its in the wash or something.

    Comment


    • #3
      totally what I was going to do.... I do that to her allot lol, she kept sending the 3 year old in High Heeled sandals, so I just kept them and sent her home in more appropriate ones, she also sent her in a dress which was wayyyyyy too big on her (her chest was exposed) so I kept that too. I'm thinking I'll have to do the same with the coat, but I have a feeling she may put up a fuss about it!

      Comment


      • #4
        I have very similar battles with my ex fairly often. Between our son being returned to me with clothes too small, old beaten up shoes after I've just bought him new ones, winter jackets with missing zippers, etc. it came to a point where it was obvious no amount of reasoning or discussion would get through to her.

        The upside is, our child is properly attired. The downside is I'm buying two sets of clothes for one little boy (the new clothes never seem to get returned or replaced)

        Its a minor expense and only a moderate inconvenience.
        I just deal with it.
        Good luck

        Comment


        • #5
          This is one of those things that can drive you crazy. Basically, as long as the child doesn't become gravely ill from wearing a spring coat in the winter - there's nothing you can do. It's that parent's responsibility when they have the child with them to clothe them as they see fit. As long as she is not visibly suffering from it - let it go. Their are bigger battles to be fought. We used to worry about this too, but as the children get older they come to know what they should wear on their own. So this will pass...

          Comment


          • #6
            My babysitter used to wash my daughter's clothes without treating the stains, so that I could not get the stains out afterword. I asked her so many times to NOT wash the clothes, send them back dirty, even gave her a bottle of pretreater and they still got stained. So I started sending my daughter in her worst clothes and keeping the good clothes for when she was with me.

            Is it possible that she is keeping the good clothes for when she has her? Do you return all clothes at the end of the visit? Can they afford to get her new clothes?

            I think "losing" the coat is a fine idea, then you could find it in the spring.

            Comment


            • #7
              No need to lose the coat that daughter appears to be attached to.

              Let your girl wear the coat, and when the weather is too cold, always have something warm (scarf, hat, sweater, mitts, other coat) to give her when she figures out that`s she cold.

              Pick your battles dude. I learned the hard way. Packing tights and socks these days in my girl`s knapsack. When I pick her up from school, she`s wearing èm if need be.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
                No need to lose the coat that daughter appears to be attached to.

                Let your girl wear the coat, and when the weather is too cold, always have something warm (scarf, hat, sweater, mitts, other coat) to give her when she figures out that`s she cold.

                Pick your battles dude. I learned the hard way. Packing tights and socks these days in my girl`s knapsack. When I pick her up from school, she`s wearing èm if need be.
                I don't think my step-daughter is attached to the coat at all. I'm not worried about her when she's with me, she'll be dressed properly and wearing a proper winter coat, there's no way I'd let her go outside in the winter in a spring coat. I'm worried about when she is with her mother, which is most of the time...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by billiechic View Post
                  My babysitter used to wash my daughter's clothes without treating the stains, so that I could not get the stains out afterword. I asked her so many times to NOT wash the clothes, send them back dirty, even gave her a bottle of pretreater and they still got stained. So I started sending my daughter in her worst clothes and keeping the good clothes for when she was with me.

                  Is it possible that she is keeping the good clothes for when she has her? Do you return all clothes at the end of the visit? Can they afford to get her new clothes?

                  I think "losing" the coat is a fine idea, then you could find it in the spring.
                  She could afford to buy her clothes, but she chooses not too, for whatever reason. My ex has 3 little girls at his house and he gives me all the hand me downs for my step-daughter. Every season he gives me a big garbage bag full of nice stuff, I keep some for my house and send the rest to my boyfriends ex for my step-daughter. I'm super anal about clothing lol, so I always send my sd back in what she got dropped off in down to the socks (since her mother can never match her socks).

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Yup, anything good we send them in never comes back. Instead they come back to us in ripped, stained, ill-fitting clothing. What we do now is take them to Value Village and buy "transition clothes". Most of these look great and we don't have to go crazy if the stuff doesn't come back. As far as outerwear goes though, we do end up buying doubles of almost everything. It's a pain, but easier than arguing with them to return stuff. We almost never got outerwear back when they really needed to wear it.

                    Comment

                    Our Divorce Forums
                    Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                    Working...
                    X