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  • Setting myself up for sucess

    Hi All,


    I have a general question about marriage and finances. I'm about to get married and I wanted to know what I can do get the most out of the relationship financially after the divorce. My partner is alot more well off than I am and I just want to know how I can ensure to get the most from him after the divorce.



    I have some funds that are tucked away in a mutual fun in a seperate account. I would like to continue contributing to this fund while married without having to split it in half after the divorce.What are my options.


    Many thanks


    Billie

  • #2
    You haven’t even gotten married and you are preparing for divorce? Maybe don’t get married.

    How would you feel if your spouse to be was asking people how to protect their money from you since they are well off?

    Comment


    • #3
      I just want information that's all. In a family lawyer's experience, what's the best way to benefit financially from a divorce if you make way less than your spouse?

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by zara.pine View Post
        I'm about to get married and I wanted to know what I can do get the most out of the relationship financially after the divorce.
        I think you are a troll, but sounds like a fun thought exercise.

        My partner is alot more well off than I am and I just want to know how I can ensure to get the most from him after the divorce.
        1) Before you get married, have him sell his house and purchase a new one. Get the biggest one you can find. The house automatically gets split which is the best deal in Canada. Obviously, make sure he makes the mortgage payments while you are married.

        2) Make sure you don't get a job, that kills off entitlement really fast.

        3) Get a good and expensive education. Remember not to get a job though. Once you finish your education get some more education.

        4) If your husband has options in a company, get him to exercise those options. Cash can be split, options not so easily

        5) Go on lavish vacations. He can't take the experiences away from you!

        6) Have at least one child. Not too many, that could cramp your style. You'll never make "Housewives of Ottawa" if you have babysitting duties. Max of two. Ideally, have the second child with an affluent affair partner so you can get extra child support.

        7) Do not sign a prenupital agreement. In the event that you are forced to sign one, try to avoid consulting a lawyer. That way, later, you can just say that you were too stupid to understand what you were signing. No matter what, don't change any terms in your prenup. You need to claim idiocy, and you can't do that if you start negotiating like a competent adult.

        8) Get a LOT of gifts before you get married. Especially the engagement ring. Gifts before marriage are all yours to keep! Material gifts before marriage, experiences during the marriage. Those are the type of gifts you want.


        I have some funds that are tucked away in a mutual fun in a seperate account. I would like to continue contributing to this fund while married without having to split it in half after the divorce.What are my options.
        This is tricky. Generally speaking, anything you add to the fund would be split.

        Probably your best bet would be to never tell anybody about this mutual fund. In theory there is "financial disclosure", but if you don't disclose it, and they don't know about it, how can you get in trouble?

        Good luck!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Janus View Post
          I think you are a troll, but sounds like a fun thought exercise.



          1) Before you get married, have him sell his house and purchase a new one. Get the biggest one you can find. The house automatically gets split which is the best deal in Canada. Obviously, make sure he makes the mortgage payments while you are married.

          2) Make sure you don't get a job, that kills off entitlement really fast.

          3) Get a good and expensive education. Remember not to get a job though. Once you finish your education get some more education.

          4) If your husband has options in a company, get him to exercise those options. Cash can be split, options not so easily

          5) Go on lavish vacations. He can't take the experiences away from you!

          6) Have at least one child. Not too many, that could cramp your style. You'll never make "Housewives of Ottawa" if you have babysitting duties. Max of two. Ideally, have the second child with an affluent affair partner so you can get extra child support.

          7) Do not sign a prenupital agreement. In the event that you are forced to sign one, try to avoid consulting a lawyer. That way, later, you can just say that you were too stupid to understand what you were signing. No matter what, don't change any terms in your prenup. You need to claim idiocy, and you can't do that if you start negotiating like a competent adult.

          8) Get a LOT of gifts before you get married. Especially the engagement ring. Gifts before marriage are all yours to keep! Material gifts before marriage, experiences during the marriage. Those are the type of gifts you want.




          This is tricky. Generally speaking, anything you add to the fund would be split.

          Probably your best bet would be to never tell anybody about this mutual fund. In theory there is "financial disclosure", but if you don't disclose it, and they don't know about it, how can you get in trouble?

          Good luck!

          I'm not a troll I promise, I've just been hearth broken so many times that if I'm going to get married I want to make sure I'm getting something out of it in case I'm cheated on etc.


          Apologies for being so naaive but why is it important that he sells the house before marriage? and for him to make the mortgage payments?


          also what happens if i work instead of studying. What's the benefit of studying..does it affect how things get split?
          .
          .
          about my retirement fund, even if I dont disclose, wont the lawyers be able to investigate where my money was going while I was married?

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by zara.pine View Post
            Apologies for being so naaive but why is it important that he sells the house before marriage? and for him to make the mortgage payments?
            The key is that you don't want him bringing a house into the marriage unless it is the home you are going to live in. Assuming the goal is to screw over your future husband, you want him to leverage all his assets and make a huge down payment on a new house that you will live in for the duration of the marriage.

            Normally, he gets to keep what he brings into the marriage. However, due to an enormous screw up in family law, if he dumps all his assets into a big house that you guys share, then you get to split everything that he had before the marriage.

            Remember, if he walks in with cash, you can't get your hands on that. The goal is to get him to sell everything he owns so he can make a huge down payment on the house that you are going to steal from him.

            also what happens if i work instead of studying. What's the benefit of studying..does it affect how things get split?
            Education improves your income earning potential, but that asset doesn't get split upon a divorce.

            If you are independently employed, then your ability to get needs based spousal support can be hurt. The best position to be during a divorced is completely unemployed. The more useless you are (or can appear to be) the more money you can get.


            about my retirement fund, even if I dont disclose, wont the lawyers be able to investigate where my money was going while I was married?
            Well, given how much you are going to be taking this poor guy for a ride, I wouldn't risk it by hiding money. You might ruin your payday. How big is this fund? Investigators are not free, your soon to be ex (ie. your soon to be husband) might not think it is worth hiring investigators to figure out if you are hiding money.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Janus View Post
              The key is that you don't want him bringing a house into the marriage unless it is the home you are going to live in. Assuming the goal is to screw over your future husband, you want him to leverage all his assets and make a huge down payment on a new house that you will live in for the duration of the marriage.

              Normally, he gets to keep what he brings into the marriage. However, due to an enormous screw up in family law, if he dumps all his assets into a big house that you guys share, then you get to split everything that he had before the marriage.

              Remember, if he walks in with cash, you can't get your hands on that. The goal is to get him to sell everything he owns so he can make a huge down payment on the house that you are going to steal from him.



              Education improves your income earning potential, but that asset doesn't get split upon a divorce.

              If you are independently employed, then your ability to get needs based spousal support can be hurt. The best position to be during a divorced is completely unemployed. The more useless you are (or can appear to be) the more money you can get.




              Well, given how much you are going to be taking this poor guy for a ride, I wouldn't risk it by hiding money. You might ruin your payday. How big is this fund? Investigators are not free, your soon to be ex (ie. your soon to be husband) might not think it is worth hiring investigators to figure out if you are hiding money.

              ok so if he already has a a house and we plan on living in it together, does that get split even if it's only in his name? Or do i have to get him to sell it and buy something new under both our names?


              and if i just study while married and get two PhDs will the court still rule that I'm useless upon divorce as long as I'm unemployed? Wont they say that you have the qualifications to be employed?

              Comment


              • #8
                If you have to post these sorts of questions I assume:

                You are not "trophy wife" material, rather "ridden hard and put away wet" sort.
                Any money you do have was likely due to previous divorce; if you are employed, it is in a low-skill capacity. Hang on to that job as you will need it when your new husband takes YOU to the cleaners come divorce time.

                If the man you propose to marry has a brain he will have already received legal advice? Perhaps he is really very old and already has an enduring POA? You sound like someone who is employed in a seniors residence and you have found your next target. The fact that you have to ask such silly questions on a divorce forum also tells me that you have little or no money yourself. You just want to tell us that you FINALLY found a new boyfriend is all.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Seriously, why are you even getting married? Seems less stressful to not even bother rather than being on a divorce forum figuring out how to take him to the cleaners. Nobody wins in a divorce. Please don't have kids since it is very painful for them. But unless all you will care about is the child support you will receive then have a dozen. Nothing wrong with wanting to protect yourself in the event of a divorce but that is something the party with money and assets should do. You are going into the marriage with nothing and want to ensure a lotto win in a divorce. Sorry but I find your post very off putting and insensitive especially since a lot of us on this board have lost thousands of dollars in life savings to a broken family law system or an exspouse like you. Not to mention picking up the pieces for children caught in a mess.
                  Last edited by Helpmyspouse; 07-20-2020, 07:48 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I love your post Arabian!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Setting myself up for sucess

                      As Janus said, probably a troll. Which begs the real question—are you actually engaged in reality or simply writing a comic book er...graphic novel...and this is research.

                      Thanks for the laughs Janus and Arabian!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        You should tell your soon to be husband that you are already enquiring about divorce....see how that goes.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Zara (are you my ex??),

                          Adding to Janus's sage advice: pay for stuff using debit, request cash back, and squirrel away the cash - for future litigation of course

                          If you do not have large breasts, you can also convince your husband/future ex-husband to buy you breast augmentation. Not only is this something that he can't stop you from taking with you, but it will also expand your flotilla of ships to jump ship to at the tail end of your upcoming marriage.

                          I also heard a radio DJ mention (and I quote) "keeping all the assets in one spouse's name and all the debt in the other spouse's name". The aforementioned DJ didn't go into the exact details of the supposed reason for doing this, but I think it had something to do with keeping money from creditors. I'm guessing the female DJ would have insisted on being the asset spouse under this arrangement. You could try to push this idea to your future husband/ex-husband.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            This is by far the most entertaining thread on here in a long time lol

                            As a side note, and along the same lines as one of the OP’s questions:
                            Out of genuine curiosity, if two people get married and one had a house in their name years before the marriage and the house is kept solely in that person’s name after the marriage, does the house get split evenly upon divorce or only the equity that has built up since marriage (assuming said home is the matrimonial home of course)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                              You should tell your soon to be husband that you are already enquiring about divorce....see how that goes.
                              Clearly you have misunderstood the point of this game.

                              Comment

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