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Is this shared parenting??

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  • Is this shared parenting??

    My friends ex husband is an airline pilot and has an erratic schedule. He is only guaranteed 11 days off per month and wants other days as flexiable days.
    he also is overseas for 2.5 months of the year without coming back to canada and seeing the kids.

    His lawyer is insisting that he still pays offset childsupport and even the months he does not have them 40 % of time (ie away for 2 month) will still only pay offset.

    they are just working on separation agreement and she is confused on how to word agreement so she will get full support on months he does not do shared.

    also can she insist that on days he has kids and goes to work that she be the one to have them rather then a babysitter. sometimes he will have kids for 4 days and leave them with a sitter for 3 of those days....

    thanks for advise in advance.

  • #2
    Shared parenting is usually determined by the proportion of time each parent has with the children over the course of a year, not month by month. If your friend can document that she has the children more than 60% over the last twelve months (even if some months she has them less than that), she has a case for full table support. If you were adjusting CS every month from offset to full table and back again, the bookkeeping would be crazy. The father can't decide to "do shared" on a month-by-month basis - it's either shared parenting or it isn't. (Of course she can build in a review clause to the effect that every year they will go over shared parenting situation and adjust as necessary for the coming year). She shouldn't be taking legal advice from his lawyer.

    As for the babysitter question - what he does with the kids on "his" days is his business. She can ask that he offer her the opportunity to take the kids when he's busy, but he doesn't have to agree. Some people have "right of first refusal" clauses in their separation agreement, but others don't. Many people on these boards have been through this situation. Basically, you can't control how the other party uses his/her parenting time.

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    • #3
      Stripes I disagree with your babysitter comment. The judge made it clear that the children were not even to stay with grandma or step mom if dad wasn't home if they were sick etc. It was actually written into the order that they are to be with mom in these situations.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Serene View Post
        Stripes I disagree with your babysitter comment. The judge made it clear that the children were not even to stay with grandma or step mom if dad wasn't home if they were sick etc. It was actually written into the order that they are to be with mom in these situations.
        ?

        Not sure what you're talking about. The OP didn't mention a grandma or stepmother, and she doesn't have an order.

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        • #5
          The question was asked: can she insist on not using a babysitter when kids are with me and I need to work.

          The answer is yes. And it will be supported by a judge.

          If grandma and stepmom can't take care of them. Then a babysitter surely wouldn't be an acceptable replacement.

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          • #6
            Childcare in order to facilitate employment has long been regarded as being acceptable by the courts. The courts don't like imposing Rights of First Refusal when it relates to employment, as it could be seen as a disincentive to working.

            That said, such childcare is generally during a normal working day, not 3-4 days at a time. Who is caring for the child while the ex works, would be the catching point. If it is their new spouse, or close family member, that is one thing. If it is an unrelated individual, that is another.

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            • #7
              Note: I'm not debating your thoughts or providing my own with regards to this subject. I am giving you FACTS as they related to my husband's day on court as told/instructed by a judge. The mother asked these questions and gave several scenarios and this is what we're advised by the judge. All good info for reference.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Serene View Post
                Note: I'm not debating your thoughts or providing my own with regards to this subject. I am giving you FACTS as they related to my husband's day on court as told/instructed by a judge. The mother asked these questions and gave several scenarios and this is what we're advised by the judge. All good info for reference.
                Each case is evaluated on it's own.

                Both outcomes are possible.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Serene View Post
                  Note: I'm not debating your thoughts or providing my own with regards to this subject. I am giving you FACTS as they related to my husband's day on court as told/instructed by a judge. The mother asked these questions and gave several scenarios and this is what we're advised by the judge. All good info for reference.
                  Serene is talking about her husband's issues with his ex, which is not necessarily how things would work out in the situation the OP was asking about. A judge could make an order that if one parent needed childcare during his/her parenting time, he/she had to offer the other parent right of first refusal, but this is not law, and there's no guarantee that a judge would make this decision in the case of the OP's friend. Could go either way. As HammerDad says, parents have the right to use childcare if they're working while the children are with them, and courts would probably be reluctant to intervene and determine what kind of childcare may or may not be used.

                  It sounds like both the OP's friend and her ex are trying to maneuver around the magic 40% for offset - he's trying to do some sort of month-by-month thing to avoid the 40%-over-the-course-of-the-year, and she's trying to add extra nights to stay over the 60% threshold. This could be speculation on my part, but that's how I would read it.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    The family law act provides that children should spend as much time with each parent as they can. That is the law that the judge sited - that is the rationale that was used.

                    Comment

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