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  • Ex Moving

    Hi again,

    I have a few questions and was hoping with a brief history of my case if anyone could offer help/advice...

    My ex moved away with our child two years ago. Met a new man a while after and moved, changed numbers and tried to hide. I have been involved with legal actions for almost a year now. (< Long story....Lawyer "helped" for 7 months by doing nothing and then decided he was not qualified for this) I began self rep had papers served for sole custody (child made statements of step father touching her, mother has called (with blocked number many time asking for me to take child because she couldn't handle her, many many many other things told to me by her close family/friends and CAS) MIP was early March in which ex didn't go to and she didn't serve the from 10 within 30 days. Case conference is next week.

    From what her family has told me she had no interest in serving me. She is planing on moving out of Provence. Everyone has told her to just hand over custody because she really has no interest in the child, her and her partner don't like the child and they can't move with the child (I had this blocked on their first attempt) She has told her family that she want to just "hand her over" and leave.

    I'm so worried for the health of our child as this is going to be a huge shock to her. She will be pushed from mom into my house with my partner and mom is going to take off. I do think the best thing for our child is for her to reside in my house primarily with myself making all important choices but I still think it is very very important for her mom to be apart of her live on a regular basis.

    Is there anything I can do to try to keep mom here so she doesn't abandon her daughter?

    I know she will because she see's our daughter as a part of me and she and her partner hate that. They abuse her because her moms partner is not her bio dad. She has said once she is gone she is gone...

    As much as I would love to have our daughter all to myself as I'm sure lots of parents would it is NOT in the best interest of our daughter if she just leaves.

    My partner and I are doing as much research as possible and attending many classes to try to understand what will happen, but both of us still know this is going to break my daughter.

    If I can't stop her mom from leaving any idea's as to what I can do to make this easier on my daughter?

    Thanks so much for any advice.

  • #2
    You can't stop her Mom from moving, you can only stop her from moving and taking your daughter with her. She can move any time she wants. The fact that she wants to just give up your daughter is heartbreaking, but you can't force her to spend time with her. As a parent I can't imagine not wanting my kids around. I miss them even when they're at school for the day. I have 2 addictions, caffeine and my kids. I'm miserable without either.
    The best thing you can do is be there for your daughter and be the best Daddy you can be for her. How old is she?

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    • #3
      Originally posted by MommaBear73 View Post
      You can't stop her Mom from moving, you can only stop her from moving and taking your daughter with her. She can move any time she wants. The fact that she wants to just give up your daughter is heartbreaking, but you can't force her to spend time with her. As a parent I can't imagine not wanting my kids around. I miss them even when they're at school for the day. I have 2 addictions, caffeine and my kids. I'm miserable without either.
      The best thing you can do is be there for your daughter and be the best Daddy you can be for her.
      Took the words right out of my 'mouth'

      your ex sounds like a real piece of work but in the long run it may be what is best. You'll have a solid relationship with your daughter AND if you get her into some sort of counselling right away no matter her age it will help her with her mothers incompetence. I feel for you and your daughter, some women/ men should just not be allowed to have children.

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      • #4
        Tank, why did she take the daughter in the first place if she didn't want her? It's sad..

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        • #5
          There is nothing you can do to prevent Mom from moving away. It is her choice and she will be the loser in the long run.
          Be there for your daughter and don't be difficult about letting her see and spend time with her maternal relations who are interested in her. The mother still needs to pay child support though, so don't be letting her off the hook for that, whether or not she's involved with your daughter.
          Sounds like you and your partner are already doing the best you can. Love your daughter but don't spoil her. Keep up the good work.

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          • #6
            Hi
            Thanks everyone.
            My daughter is 5. Not to sure why she took our daughter with her but they had a really great relationship together and her mom was trying to better herself with school and such. Then after meeting her current husband things just went south fast.

            I already have Pathways for children on the line as soon as I get custody they are doing an intake for her. My partner has her registered in the top school of our city that also provides counselling in the school. Once a week group sessions and anytime she feels she needs to talk.

            I guess I knew that I couldn't make her mom stay but it breaks my heart that her mom can just walk away. Our daughter is going to be one broken sad little girl for a while after.
            If there is anything else anyone thinks of that I can do please feel free to add ideas

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            • #7
              Oh and Epona she wont have to pay support. Her and her husband now both get Ontario works. From my understanding they don't make people who live off of government assistance pay child support.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Tank2 View Post
                Oh and Epona she wont have to pay support. Her and her husband now both get Ontario works. From my understanding they don't make people who live off of government assistance pay child support.
                Whoever told you that had it wrong, they do make them.

                Comment

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