Well I finally got a lawyer

[blindsided]

Hi all, just wanted to give an update. I went to see a lawyer Thursday,glad i did i feel much better

Its been 8 months since he left and not helping with anything, now i can feel that im growing a back bone. Wow it feels good

I feel good with this lawyer after talking to about 4 different one's, this one feels right. My brother just had him and was happy with him as well.

I let him know right away that i dont have money to let this go on and on. He said he's just going to ask for what im entitled to (cs 18 yr old son in college,19 yr old planning to go to college in Sept. and SS for myself.)

So i photo copied all info he needed. He wants me to do a background on us, print all bank activities, high light who spent what,who paid what ect..

He said when i bring him retainer 3grand (300.hr) he will serve him,which will have to be at his work of employment,since i dont know his address (wow is he going to go mad when that happens)

What kind of stuff will be in the letter when he serves him, will lawyer go over it with me before he sends it?

[dadtotheend]

The lawyer should get you to approve whatever gets sent from his office.

The lawyer will probably send a polite letter first to see if a court action can be avoided and suggest that you and your ex have some discussion to agree on CS and SS with a view to getting a separation agreement. But...

I fear when you say that your ex is going to be "served" that you are going to file a court application right away. Be careful on that because it immediately ramps up the conflict, which will drive a wedge between you and your ex for settlement purposes - translation: take longer to settle, the courts move very slowly, and lots of legal fees for the lawyer.

That course of action would seem contradictory to you saying that you don't have much money. Of course, if you are convinced that your ex cannot be motivated to settle outside of court, then you don't have much choice.

Cynically speaking, I wouldn't be surprised if your up front comment to the lawyer about not having much money fell on deaf ears. He'll take your $3,000 and you'll be lucky to get to the first case conference. And then he may decline (i.e. refuse) to act further until you ante up some more.

Once you get into the courts, you are virtuallly guaranteed to spend a lot of time, emotion, and $$. Buyer beware.

[blindsided]

well what i meant the lawyer said he will send a letter to ex, to see if he will be getting a lawyer to try to talk with us.He would give him certain amount of time to answer?

I understood that if he doesnt answer that lawyer would file and judge would make decision He said we would go to case con. Alot of info to take in when you dont really understand.

He gave me forms to fill out 13.1 / does this sound the right way to go, i do know ex wont talk to me i tried myself in past saying we had to talk about finances and he wont, he says he has to live. im paying mortage line of credit taxes, son college(he did get osap and scholarships but there was also his uniform and books on top its an expensive course pre firefighter course about 10 grand plus uniform and books, im living off of about 10grand yr vs his 30grand and at the moment hes only paying 400month for room and board

[standing on the sidelines]

well it seems like your lawyer is doing the intial things like opening up dialogue to see where you ex stands on things. It is a good place to start because now the ex can see that you are no longer just going to sit back and pay all the debts on your own anymore. He will see that he now has to deal with the issues whether he wants to or not.

[dadtotheend]

As said above, the lawyer's letter is standard first procedure.

The finanical forms he gave you are also standard. Both you and your ex have to complete and back them up with documentation them so the lawyers can advise you both as to what's going to happen money wise.

Hopefully your ex is responsive and cooperative after seeing the letter. It doesn't like either of you are in a position to afford a lengthy battle. Have you considered legal aid?

[blindsided]

yes i checked into legal aid they said my income was to high i dont know how i made t-4s for 08 total 10 grand hmmm