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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 01-19-2019, 11:37 AM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Default Changing Access Order

First off, I would like to thank everyone on this site, as it has been very helpful recently.

A little background:

I am self repping. My settlement conference is in April. It is a very easy case and one that I should not need too much guidance on (thanks in large part to my research on these threads )

My current partner and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. He also has a child from a previous relationship, with a final consent order for about a year now. He has EOW and one night a week for a 3 hour visit. Mother is VERY controlling and will not consent to increased time, and on average cancels one weekend visit per month and declines a make up visit (we have started documenting this). The weeknight visit is an issue. By the time he picks child up (6y/o) he only has 1 or two hours with her as she is normally already exhausted at this point and needs to be home at a reasonable time to be ready for school the next day. When he originally got the order, the child had just finished her first year of school. Mother was very difficult during court proceedings and would not allow visits for a long time. As such he was not familiar with her school schedule by the time he got his order. He has requested to the mother an increase from the weeknight visit of 3 hours to an overnight weeknight visit once a week (we would pick her up from school and drop her off in the morning). She has declined, but we knew she would. Her reasoning is that we live too far for her to be travelling to our house on a weeknight. For any curious minds, we live just outside the city, approximately a 15 minute drive to the child’s school from our doorstep.

My question is, do you think it’s reasonable to file for a motion to change on this. Based on the fact that material change has occurred because child is now in school full time and a weeknight visit for 3 hours is not feasible. Child would be fast asleep on us if we kept her for the full 3 hours. And the father would enjoy being more involved with her in school, and getting her up and ready to go to school at least once a week.

Also any suggestions on what to do about the constant visit cancellations would be helpful. They are never for a valid reason. Just “her friend has a birthday party Saturday afternoon, so she will not be coming this weekend” and stuff like that. Like I said we are documenting but what should the next step be? Contempt motion? From what I’ve read about them they sound daunting.

TIA
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Old 01-19-2019, 05:48 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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What happens when dad says he will take kid to party? I pass on any birthday invitations to dad and let him make arrangements. May or may not take kid but it’s out of my hamds
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Old 01-19-2019, 05:50 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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The late nights will be less of a problem as kid ages. Is the time specific I the order like 6:00? Or is it 3 hours without a time. What is picked up
Kid a bit earlier
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Old 01-19-2019, 07:05 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
What happens when dad says he will take kid to party? I pass on any birthday invitations to dad and let him make arrangements. May or may not take kid but it’s out of my hamds
She says no. And usually won’t even let us drop child off to her and pick her up after. Just uses it as an excuse to cancel the entire weekend. Same with extra curricular activities. Or any sort of minor event. I have a child from a previous relationship too so I can be pretty understanding, but to me this is just completely absurd
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Old 01-19-2019, 07:27 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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I'm confused, but it doesn't take much to confuse me in Family Law . You say you have a settlement conference coming up in April is this for your child or step-child? I dont think you can self rep for your step child. I think only the bio parent can do that. In fact if the bio Mom doesnt want you in the courtroom, I believe you will be asked to leave.

Just my observation, but when a step-parent steps into the court battle, it just causes more animosity. Best to let your partner deal with his ex, and you deal with yours.
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Old 01-19-2019, 07:38 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate331 View Post
I'm confused, but it doesn't take much to confuse me in Family Law . You say you have a settlement conference coming up in April is this for your child or step-child? I dont think you can self rep for your step child. I think only the bio parent can do that. In fact if the bio Mom doesnt want you in the courtroom, I believe you will be asked to leave.

Just my observation, but when a step-parent steps into the court battle, it just causes more animosity. Best to let your partner deal with his ex, and you deal with yours.
No, we each have children from previous relationships. MY child I am self repping in court. Settlement conference in April. Have been able to self rep partially thanks to this group, and partially thanks to the matter being so simple. My partner has a consent order. He is done with court. But the difficulties I am describing in my original post concern him and his ex and their child. As I have been on this forum for a while getting info for MY case, I figured I would also ask for some advice regarding his troubles to see what options he has.

I hope that makes sense. Even I get confused about the whole thing sometimes to lmao
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Old 01-19-2019, 07:42 PM
Selfrepmom Selfrepmom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by denbigh View Post
The late nights will be less of a problem as kid ages. Is the time specific I the order like 6:00? Or is it 3 hours without a time. What is picked up
Kid a bit earlier
It just says 3 hours. Mom doesn’t usually get off work til 5/5:30, then has to pick up child from after school program. By the time he is able to pick her up, it is closer to 6. Then he has to drop off between 7/7:30. He has tried asking her if he can just pick up child from school, but she says no. She likes the control factor that him picking child up at her house offers.
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