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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #1  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:12 PM
Busch Busch is offline
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Default You Can't Fix Stupid....

In the words of a few posters on this site.....You Can't Fix Stupid....and I deal with Stupid constantly. If I can't fix it, what can I do?


I have posted asking what I can do to force NCP to exercise access time. A questions was posed to me that I have been contemplating for a very long time. "why would you want to force kids on a parent?" One of those that makes you go hmmmmmmm. I don't want to force my kids on NCP, I just want them to have the opportunity to figure out that NCP is a douche for themselves. However I firmly believe that they are figuring this out now. Access has been sporadic, scarce and short. Kids haven't seen NCP in 8 weeks now. At what point do I get to stop this? Or can I? Order says EOW with Holidays and long weekends. Would it be wrong to request adjustments to the access so the kids have a better idea of visits as well as more routine, and stability?


Thoughts, comments, questions, concerns??!!
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  #2  
Old 05-22-2015, 12:31 PM
Stillbreathing Stillbreathing is offline
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Kids are smarter than you think. They figure things out for themselves without you saying a word or doing a thing. You have several options available as to NCP. You can :
1. Do nothing and allow things to unfold naturally. But I would advise you document or keep track of missed visits, etc. If the kids ask where NCP is, just shrug . They'll figure it out
2. You can go back to court to change the order if you have nothing better to do with your time and money
3. Go back and review option 1.
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Old 05-22-2015, 12:52 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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If I were you, and this is based on the other stuff you've posted, Id be saving my money and not going to court to change access. Your ex sounds like he has no desire to drive to see his kids. Nor does it sound like he wants to face you with all his bs child support requests. Id just leave it as is. Keep expecting he'll show up and make your other plans when he doesnt. The kids will understand. In the beginning my dad would only request to see my brother. Then he moved away and was only in town sporadically. Regardless of my mothers actions, we knew my dad had little interest in being anything but a "call you next week" parent. Life goes on. Your kids will figure it out. Sure it sucks and it hurts them but they still have you (and I think you have an involved new partner? I could be mistaken) and that may be enough. One day your ex will regret missing out on his kids' lives and they can figure out their relationship then.

Definitely document. Hell Id even go so far as to send him an email on Thursdays asking if he will be exercising his time this weekend and if you havent received a response in 24 hours you will assume no and make other plans. Not sure if thats legal though...other thoughts?

My bottom line is save your money in case he and his new wife come back with their bs changes to his income, cs, and s7 issues. How is that going by the way?
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Old 05-22-2015, 01:41 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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I agree don't file anything. I would just send an email to ex saying since you don't file access, anytime you plan to excercise access I expect xxhrs notice or I will assume you are not coming. If he isn't happy let him file whatever he wants. Possession is 3/4 of the law and you have possession.
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Old 05-22-2015, 02:41 PM
Busch Busch is offline
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Thanks Guys!!


I really don't want to go back to court....because truth be told I have no issues with the Order. I'm just frustrated with NCP being irresponsible and hurting my kids. it's one thing to hurt me...but you mess with my kids and look out!!


I have been documenting all visits. when I actually do have communications and when I get nothing. but I am curious....if I'm not going to court about it....why document it?


Rockscan you said this.
"My bottom line is save your money in case he and his new wife come back with their bs changes to his income, cs, and s7 issues. How is that going by the way?"
the initial email was sent to me. I responded in the nicest of ways, basically telling him to "GFYS" and that is the last I have heard of it. I am not getting payment for S7...but to file with FRO will take 8-12 months of no payment....and that's only IF he doesn't drag his feet. The international application is a long process apparently. So for now I am keeping track of non payments and waiting for some kind of paperwork to be served to me. Truth be told, I'm trying to think of a way to piss him off so he does file. LOL. But I can't think of anything.
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Old 05-22-2015, 02:50 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Id still file with FRO. The longer you wait, the longer the process when you do get it started. Just think, 8-12 months from now it will be done! He still has to pay now, when its in place he'll just pay them. Isnt he paying sporadically anyway?

Dont worry about the other stuff. Your kids WILL figure it out for themselves. My dad was an ass growing up. He still has many of those asinine selfish tendencies but now Im old enough to ignore it. He will pay for it one day and he will have many regrets. Just love and support your kids which it sounds like you are doing.
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