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  • Reached an agreement

    Well it appears we came to an agreement in mediation. Once D2 goes to kindergarten, we go to a 2-2-3 schedule for both kids. CS stops then as well.
    Avoided court.

  • #2
    That is great to hear. Did you both sign? I also had an agreement. Nothing signed that day though. Other side was going to write it up so I could sign. Well nothing followed until one month later and the agreement was nothing like we had discussed so back to square one and more legal fees burned. . I hope you have more luck. Keep us posted.

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    • #3
      Signed and done. I had it written in it that we would go to a 2-2-3 schedule and not a revisit it or anything. Also that my CS would end effective on that date. Ex cannot move out of school catchment area either. Has to get a court order or my permission.
      Now I just have to wait two years because apparently it's too hard for my kids to have an extra two nights a month with me now.

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      • #4
        That is great news! Congrats!!!

        I am in the same boat having to wait 2 years to get to 50/50, because apparently it’d be too much for my kids to handle too, despite what OCL says. To me, it’s just a ploy to stretch out CS as long as possible to subsidize her lifestyle.

        How did you get it in there that it won’t be re-visited? My STBX fought dirty to try to restrict me being involved in the kids’ life, where it was obvious she actually wanted me out of her life (not realizing I am out as exchanges are at school). I foresee my STBX trying to weasel her way out of 50/50, and wanted a clause in to protect me from the inevitable attempt to re-litigate, but my lawyer said it was useless as nothing stops her from filing a court application whenever she wants.

        Also, with respect to CS, do you mean that in 2 years you will be paying “offset”? I didn’t know you could simply not pay at all, unless they are out of school...

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        • #5
          It was my terms if I want getting 50 50 now. If she insisted we wait 2 yrs(not worth time and $$ in court) then I wanted assurances we would go to 5050. So there's a clause stating when my D2 turns 4, we add 2 more days to the schedule. As for CS, she makes more than me. We agreed to common expenses and after school care costs. Child tax benefit too.

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          • #6
            Thanks for sharing. I’m in the same boat where I gotta wait 2 years, it’s funny how their arguments make no sense on why it can’t be 50/50 now. I’m patiently waiting the 2 years, but in the meantime doing my homework to defend the inevitable request to weasel out of 50/50. I saw how my STBX stooped so low fighting the 50/50, she will try just as hard to weasel out finding petty excuses on how she thinks “it’s not in the child’s best interests”...where it’s just blasphemy or perhaps finding a way in the meantime to convince the kids it’s somehow better to only live at moms...

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            • #7
              Well it's in a binding agreement now so....

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              • #8
                Originally posted by LovingDad1234 View Post
                Thanks for sharing. I’m in the same boat where I gotta wait 2 years, it’s funny how their arguments make no sense on why it can’t be 50/50 now. I’m patiently waiting the 2 years, but in the meantime doing my homework to defend the inevitable request to weasel out of 50/50. I saw how my STBX stooped so low fighting the 50/50, she will try just as hard to weasel out finding petty excuses on how she thinks “it’s not in the child’s best interests”...where it’s just blasphemy or perhaps finding a way in the meantime to convince the kids it’s somehow better to only live at moms...
                Did you agree to this in mediation? Or go to court? Curious. My partner has a case conference (our first court appearance) later this month. We currently have Wednesday night visit plus Friday overnight until Saturday at 7p. She agreed to make the Wednesday night an overnight then withdrew (twice now) because he didn't agree to the rest of her schedule which was all over the place (changing month to month, no full weekends, etc.). How old are your kids? His are 3y and 4y.

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                • #9
                  We came to this agreement in mediation. Our kids are D2 and S7. The clause outright says the parties will begin transitioning to a shared parenting s schedule commencing on August 2021. But I'm wondering if it's a trap to build status quo. I inquired and mediator said that this agreement was binding and trumped status quo.
                  I just want to be sure I'm not signing my rights away.

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                  • #10
                    The status quo is that you are incrementally increasing access to 50/50 parenting, that is what is in place.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by HardWorkingDad View Post
                      We came to this agreement in mediation. Our kids are D2 and S7. The clause outright says the parties will begin transitioning to a shared parenting s schedule commencing on August 2021. But I'm wondering if it's a trap to build status quo. I inquired and mediator said that this agreement was binding and trumped status quo.
                      I just want to be sure I'm not signing my rights away.
                      does it change over gradually? or do you just move to 50/50 in 2021?

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                      • #12
                        We just move to 50 50 on August 2021.

                        Ex refused gradual increase. Said our current schedule was enough.

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                        • #13
                          that sucks. gradual increases can be good for kids. but then again- it's not likely needed if they're older. i insisted on gradual increases because of our daughters age (at the time- she was 2.5).

                          however, you have to be flexible. i'm open to moving forward our parenting plan if things continue to go well.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                            that sucks. gradual increases can be good for kids. but then again- it's not likely needed if they're older. i insisted on gradual increases because of our daughters age (at the time- she was 2.5).

                            however, you have to be flexible. i'm open to moving forward our parenting plan if things continue to go well.
                            I too argued that and wanted to start one extra day per year and she refused. Turning 4 is a magic no.

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                            • #15
                              So long as everything is detailed and the schedule that starts in August of 2021 is clear and detailed out to the max you should be ok.

                              Comment

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