Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Is this considered available income?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #31
    Originally posted by Kkc View Post
    to OP

    just listen to rockscan and Iona. Yes they may sound harsh and their words are bursting more bubbles than kids blowing them but it is a lot cheaper. The only thing worth fighting for are your kids wellbeing.
    The relationship is long and over. Make an offer and make the best out of your life.
    I am fighting for my children's wellbeing. I want them to live the nice lifestyle, have the same activities, and take them on vacation just as often as my ex husband does.

    I've done the calculations. If my ex manages to get the legal fees incurred due to my fight with my ex business partner and manages to convince the judge the repaid debt is outstanding I would be close to -500k after equalization. It is worst than I thought. If he offered me 750k to 1 million I would take the offer and there would be no more fighting but he won't because he's greedy.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
      he won't because he's greedy.
      You are equally if not more greedy.

      You’re also not fighting for your children’s well being. You are fighting for your own. Your ex is capable of keeping them in activities and taking them on vacations. YOU want to be the better looking parent by doing that yourself. This isn’t about your kids it’s about you!


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
        My story has never changed. I just didn't give all the details I didn't think were relevant while asking for advice on the forum.

        When my ex husband and I first met I was running 2 very successful businesses and he was finishing his CPA program so I supported him financially and paid off some of his debt. Later on I ended up selling my portion of the business to my business partner after 1.5 years into the relationship with my ex. The money for the sale of the business was supposed to be given to me later on so we lived and spent on this expectation. Unfortunately my business partner screwed me and didn't pay me out and my ex husband had to borrow from family and friends to pay down living expenses (which he repaid but is claiming he didn't).
        this is always a bad idea. Unless you had the money in hand you should of lived on what you made, not what may happen.

        Can you prove that the money was repaid? It cannot just be your word that it was paid back, you need proof.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
          this is always a bad idea. Unless you had the money in hand you should of lived on what you made, not what may happen.

          Can you prove that the money was repaid? It cannot just be your word that it was paid back, you need proof.
          I didn't think my ex partner was going to fraud me. I was getting paid in instalments and I received the first instalment on time. I had no reason to think the rest of the money was not coming.

          I can prove my ex did give money back to his family members but they were continuously loaning him money throughout the marriage which he paid back here and there so it's hard to account what payment was for which loan.

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
            I didn't think my ex partner was going to fraud me. I was getting paid in instalments and I received the first instalment on time. I had no reason to think the rest of the money was not coming.

            I can prove my ex did give money back to his family members but they were continuously loaning him money throughout the marriage which he paid back here and there so it's hard to account what payment was for which loan.
            so then you have no proof when it comes down to it. Unless you have concrete proof to show what money went to what loan. a judge will not want to try and figure it out so they may go with him on that one.

            you got one instalment and figured it was okay? Still a very dumb thing to do. I would of spent according to my income and when the instalment came use it as bonus money.

            Comment


            • #36
              Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
              so then you have no proof when it comes down to it. Unless you have concrete proof to show what money went to what loan. a judge will not want to try and figure it out so they may go with him on that one.
              same argument can be made of the other side unless there are signed docs saying other party owed this much money, etc. From my reading of case law- loans are a tricky thing to prove, esp. when they are to family.

              To the OP- I'm not trying to judge you. It sounds like you were dealt a shitty hand by someone you trusted. But you're not going to find a lot of sympathy here when you think having to buy a condo instead of a house is hardship. There are people on this board who are/were willing to bankrupt themselves to fight for their children. I understand wanting to get the best financial deal- but I would also consider that you have to parent with the other party for next however long (I think you said you have fairly young kids?)...fight over money makes everything shitty. Someone is always going to lose and be bitter about it.

              In my case- I was the total loser on the financial end of thing- and yes, was/am bitter about it- but this is why I told you go get some therapy (I did. It helps). It's hard wrapping your head around the expectations of where you thought you *should* be v. where you are...esp when the other person seems to have more. I was 40 and living with my parents- as a lawyer; so I could fund a custody battle while paying down 100% of the joint debt from the marriage (and A LOT of it because I made the unwise decision of using my line of credit during our marriage on my mat leave). Everyone has a sob story.

              But if you have a good lawyer- listen to them. Put your best argument forward and get all your materials together- and then for your peace of mind- I suggest actually going through with a settlement conference on the financial stuff. A judge will give you their opinion. If you are on the losing side of that- you'll know. If they say you have a good argument- there you go. Then at least you can say you made the best case you could and make a decision from there.
              Last edited by iona6656; 04-12-2021, 01:50 PM.

              Comment


              • #37
                Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                so then you have no proof when it comes down to it. Unless you have concrete proof to show what money went to what loan. a judge will not want to try and figure it out so they may go with him on that one.

                you got one instalment and figured it was okay? Still a very dumb thing to do. I would of spent according to my income and when the instalment came use it as bonus money.
                I have some proof. I have proof of the transfers of money. My lawyer is going to argue any repayments we made during marriage is paying off the loan from early on in our marriage. His family is in on his scam and have hired their own lawyers to try to make sure I get as least money as possible.

                I don't think any judge will feel sorry for a man sitting on 2.5 to 4 million dollars worth of assets while trying to leave the mother of his ex wife with less than 500k.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                  same argument can be made of the other side unless there are signed docs saying other party owed this much money, etc. From my reading of case law- loans are a tricky thing to prove, esp. when they are to family.

                  To the OP- I'm not trying to judge you. It sounds like you were dealt a shitty hand by someone you trusted. But you're not going to find a lot of sympathy here when you think having to buy a condo instead of a house is hardship. There are people on this board who are/were willing to bankrupt themselves to fight for their children. I understand wanting to get the best financial deal- but I would also consider that you have to parent with the other party for next however long (I think you said you have fairly young kids?)...fight over money makes everything shitty. Someone is always going to lose and be bitter about it.

                  In my case- I was the total loser on the financial end of thing- and yes, was/am bitter about it- but this is why I told you go get some therapy (I did. It helps). It's hard wrapping your head around the expectations of where you thought you *should* be v. where you are...esp when the other person seems to have more. I was 40 and living with my parents- as a lawyer; so I could fund a custody battle while paying down 100% of the joint debt from the marriage (and A LOT of it because I made the unwise decision of using my line of credit during our marriage on my mat leave). Everyone has a sob story.

                  But if you have a good lawyer- listen to them. Put your best argument forward and get all your materials together- and then for your peace of mind- I suggest actually going through with a settlement conference on the financial stuff. A judge will give you their opinion. If you are on the losing side of that- you'll know. If they say you have a good argument- there you go. Then at least you can say you made the best case you could and make a decision from there.

                  I am the underdog in this fight.

                  My kids very obviously favour their father now. No matter what toys I buy them and how much money I spend on them it is clear he's the favourite parent. When my children are with me I feel the need to compete especially when I hear say things like "My daddy works hard and that's why he takes us on alot of vacation" and "daddy is more fun" or "daddy is smarter than mommy because he works harder and has a better job".

                  My ex husband is clearly trying to manipulate them. My son always threatens me to leave and live with his dad and my daughter is the very definition of a "daddy's girl". If I don't have anything to bring to the table then as soon as they get old enough they will leave me.

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                    I am the underdog in this fight.

                    My kids very obviously favour their father now. No matter what toys I buy them and how much money I spend on them it is clear he's the favourite parent. When my children are with me I feel the need to compete especially when I hear say things like "My daddy works hard and that's why he takes us on alot of vacation" and "daddy is more fun" or "daddy is smarter than mommy because he works harder and has a better job".

                    My ex husband is clearly trying to manipulate them. My son always threatens me to leave and live with his dad and my daughter is the very definition of a "daddy's girl". If I don't have anything to bring to the table then as soon as they get old enough they will leave me.

                    You are nuts.

                    You created this issue yourself when you didnt move on it several years ago. You just expect him to pay your way and do what you want and to hell with anything else. Perhaps your kids are behaving that way because they see the way you’re behaving. I can only imagine how you act with your new bf that you give everything to. I hope he takes you to the cleaners and your ex wins. Then you may see the error of your ways. Probably not though. People like you who see themselves as victims just continue to leach off of others and cry foul when it doesn’t go their way.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                      You are nuts.

                      You created this issue yourself when you didnt move on it several years ago. You just expect him to pay your way and do what you want and to hell with anything else. Perhaps your kids are behaving that way because they see the way you�re behaving. I can only imagine how you act with your new bf that you give everything to. I hope he takes you to the cleaners and your ex wins. Then you may see the error of your ways. Probably not though. People like you who see themselves as victims just continue to leach off of others and cry foul when it doesn�t go their way.


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                      Why would I move out of a 2.5 million dollar house with most of my essential expenses paid for? This lets me use my funds to pay legal fees so I can get what I deserve. I read through a lot of the posts here and I don't want to end up nearly penniless when I should have a property or 2 just like my ex. I made him who he is. I'm the mother of his childen and we deserve the same stand of living. Until I can achieve it in my own I think it's only fair he keeps supporting me.

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                        Why would I move out of a 2.5 million dollar house with most of my essential expenses paid for?
                        Because he isn’t responsible for paying your expenses after a period of time and he wants his money.

                        This lets me use my funds to pay legal fees so I can get what I deserve.
                        What you think you deserve and what you are ENTITLED to are two very different things.

                        I read through a lot of the posts here and I don't want to end up nearly penniless when I should have a property or 2 just like my ex.
                        Please don’t insult the people here who were entitled to what they fought for. Not to mention the men with ex’s like you who played the victim to get “what they deserve”. Also, you will bankrupt yourself to fight for what you think you are owed when you are ENTITLED to less. Great plan, hope you like being in debt forever. If your ex accumulated things AFTER you locked him out of his home then no, you are not entitled to even balance sheets. That isn’t how it works.

                        I made him who he is.
                        No, you helped put him through school. If you weren’t there he would have gotten loans. He did the rest himself. Unless you ghost worked for him you simply assisted in his school expenses. Period.
                        I'm the mother of his childen and we deserve the same stand of living.
                        Actually THE KIDS deserve two parents who support them. Offset support is supposed to even out the separate situations but you are also obligated to support them. Remember he can argue to have a high income imputed to you.

                        Until I can achieve it in my own I think it's only fair he keeps supporting me.
                        Again, you have had four years to do so. You made poor financial decisions. He is not responsible for you. If the roles were reversed you would never agree to support him.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          1. I hope trueblue has learned something, in a battle of wits with rockscan, don't play the victim card. She is actually trying to help you with free advice
                          2. I would love to have a beer with your ex. My view of the situation is that he is entirely annoyed by the situation himself but puts that aside and is an awesome dad.
                          3. I am sorry if any of your business partners screwed you over.
                          4. I really hope the bf is not drinking the kool-aid expecting a large financial windfall from what you are telling him.

                          My stbx is receiving 7600 a month in total, 3k less in SS than what I am supposed to pay but covid nuked my income in half overnight. Actively witholds my daughter. This was the convo when I attempted to pick her up and she ran inside and I asked her to bring her later..btw I am supposed to have them every wekeend Fri 3pm to Monday 9 am.

                          This is what is worth fighting for, my daughter is 8. This is what your attitude can lead to.


                          Me: okay so what time will you be bringing her
                          X: I won't be until you pay me because I can't put gas in my car. Sorry I have rent, a car, maybe you should sell your house, so that we can afford to live
                          Me: that's not how it works, so please bring her

                          I notice daughter walk back so i proceed to tell her a story and she is about to burst out laughing but has to turn around so her mom doesn't see it
                          Me: guess what, I love you
                          X: so why don't you want them to eat
                          Daughter: dad, pay my mom
                          Craig: ... (and I go to walk away)
                          X: if you love your kids, pay for them

                          I go to walk away and x is mocking me

                          X: ewwwww what are you going to do

                          Me: honey, honey, I love you
                          Daughter: no you don't, if you did you would pay my mom
                          X: this has nothing to do with you, but unfortunately this is how your dad wants to talk when he's near me
                          Daughter: okay, dad you don't love me, if you did you would pay my mom

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

                            Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                              Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

                              Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.
                              I spoke to my lawyer about this. He said it's standard to ask for an extension especially if I can prove my ex is stalling on purpose. Unfortunately I would be part to blame because I won't sell nor will I agree to sell without a proper agreement in place.

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by StillPaying View Post
                                Free advice worth much less than the cost... It's interesting to hear the bandwagon go off on such rude tangents based on wrong info.

                                Ex has been paying way less support than he should and is about to get a huge equalization win while avoiding court. You all agree OP should get more support, but because she's getting less and about to lose everything, you feel bad for ex? Don't insult people going penniless with those avoiding support or equalization.
                                I think what people are responding to is the tone of extreme (kinda gross) entitlement in the OP's posts.

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X