Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Monster Mom

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #16
    Rockscan is correct.

    Something else to consider, while you are going through your hell in trying to understand the "whys" of your ex's 'form 10' application, is how your ex is being perceived by his own family. There can be a myriad of reasons for why you received the form 10 when you were seemingly getting along reasonably well.

    I used to hear (through ex's relatives) that ex would show up at his family gatherings and his g/f would like to blather how they were going to 'clean my clock' so-to-speak in court. This went on for several years and one would think that the 'audience' would have questioned his perpetual failure in court. I mean, how many years can one keep telling the same people the same line of BS?

    BTW - my ex, many years later, finally admitted to me that his sister completed all of his affidavits for him. This is why he was unable to answer simple questions put to him by judges. Amazing that he would do this year after year. Just last Fall he was unable to answer a judge's simple questions. Judge pretty-much called him a liar and matter was dismissed.

    Comment


    • #17
      Rockscan, I'm in Ontario so I will be utilizing the FRO, its just trying to get the order. Its been 6 months so far of delays, we head to our first Case Conference in mid March. From what I have read here I dont think Orders are made at CC. I think I have to wait for a Motion.

      A little red flag for me is he wants the Wednesday nite access dinner dropped. I know I could be reading too much into this but, its like he is gradually backing out.

      Arabian, he could be out to prove to himself, his girlfriend, friends and family that he is dealing with this abusive, phyco bitch ex who is out to take him for all hes got and now has an affidavit to prove it.

      Regardless I have to plow forward and get that court order for CAS or they are going to do. I think I'd rather go up against him than CAS.

      Comment


      • #18
        Hi Kate,

        My case never ended up in trial but I did end up in front of two different judges for various conferences along the way. My ex’s affidavits were full of complete lies. There is probably a thread on here where I am freaking out about it too. In the end, not one of those lies was ever even addressed by the judges. They wanted no part of any he-said-she-said bs and just addressed the issues at hand. None of his insane stories about me mattered at all despite me feeling powerless and scared to death at the time.
        Tayken’s point above resonates with me - unless he is going after sole custody/majority access then he is just slinging mud with no point. He’s even dropping a day of his access if I understand that correctly. He alleges you’re so awful but then wants you to take them even more than before? It doesn’t add up which makes me think it’s just designed to be vindictive.
        Don’t let him crack you. Stay focused on doing what is right by your kids. Don’t get sucked into a back and forth game with him either. One of the best things I learned on here is that as utterly offensive it may be to have your good name sullied by someone, the court is only going to care about the facts.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

        Comment


        • #19
          Thanks Ange, I just didnt expect it, and was taken aback. I do feel so much better after reading from everyone here. I honestly cant see this ending in a trial. I am hoping to get it settled via a motion.

          Yes, he is dropping the midweek access, with no explanation, this brings his access to 24 hours a week. I am trying to read not too much into it, but I think he is going to bail.

          We really need to be mindful of pushing each others buttons, that whats gets us to a state we fight in from of the kids. Or they get caught in the middle just because of our bad moods. I on purpose invited my neighbour to dinner tonight, so she could do the exchange, cause I didnt want to even look at him.

          Thanks so much for thinking of me, I do hope you and your family are doing well, and have managed to put the past behind you. Its really helpful to hear from those who have been there done that.

          Comment


          • #20
            When my partner and I started to get serious I put my foot down with how he communicated with his ex. She knew how to push his buttons and would put him on speakerphone. I taught him to recognize when she is manipulating him and egging him into an argument. In the last two years he has gotten so much better.

            Heres what you need to remember: you will never change his mind, stop trying; you are always wrong, stop trying to be right (in his eyes); getting angry is a waste of energy; try to move all communications to written or if you must use the phone, pause after he says something, count to three and then respond. Finally, always remember to be calm and emotionless. When you give him the reaction he wants, hes beat you.

            Food for thought—you cannot change anyones behaviour but you can change your reaction to their behaviour.

            Comment


            • #21
              Rockscan, I am so hoping to get there. Its the being calm and emotionless, I need some work on. And changing my reaction. I hope my posts arent coming across as a Victim here, because I own half of this situation (maybe not the vicious Monster Mom Affidavit, but I own some responsibility for the fighting).

              Last year S7 told his teacher at school, that when his Mommy & Daddy fight, he takes his little brother S3, and turns the TV really loud so they dont have to hear it. How sad is that??? Since then we have come a long way, but arent there yet. This court process is adding stress. And the financial strain is really stressful.

              S7 has been complaining that his Dad and partner are now fighting while they think he is sleeping. Its only a matter of time before he rats them out.

              We do have the resources available to us to keep communication to a minimum, and I have got almost everything in place except for the drop offs and pick up which should be done at school/daycare. I am hoping its included in the Court Order. As much as I find CAS an intrusion, they have been very helpful with resources and solutions.

              Rockscan, I have read some of your posts, and I am determined not to have the kind of discourse you have with the Mother of your step-children. So feel free to keep me in line anytime and keep sharing your story so we can learn from it.

              Comment


              • #22
                You may want to see a counselor as you go through the process too. Or a group. There are churches that run support groups.

                I survived my parents fighting and divorce. Your kids will too!

                Comment


                • #23
                  Today is Family Day in Ontario a provincial holiday. Instead of extending his Sunday access an extra day and enjoying the day with the children, he has emailed me 5 times today with pictures of him and his gf, with the children.

                  Its been a real struggle today not to answer back and fuel the fire.

                  Comment

                  Our Divorce Forums
                  Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                  Working...
                  X