I know that child support and access are 2 separate issues, and that even though kiddo's dad chooses not to pay he has every right to spend time with our kiddo....
Background:
Child support is set up through MEP, but they are unable to collect the current obligations or the arrears as Dad works under the table. Dad's debts have continued to grow, and he's been clear he will avoid them as long as possible.
Dad was not involved much when kiddo was a baby, then cut all contact for several years. When he came back into kiddos life we gradually increased time until he was at EOW with holiday and summer time.
He cancels a lot of his time, sometimes letting me know a few days before, sometimes not telling me at all. He never tells kiddo that he's cancelling, and avoids calling/speaking to her until just before his next visit.
Kiddo and I live 3 hours away from where Dad is. This is actually an hour closer then where we once were, but the distance is still challenging. Driving is split in half, meeting at a midpoint Friday's and alternating who returns on the Sunday. That is the transportation as detailed is in our order.
Dad is remarried, and lives in the community we met in. I am single (and happy to be! ) We never lived together, and the relationship ended early in the pregnancy.
I've run into a bit of financial difficulties as of late (nothing outrageous, but with some much needed home repairs I have more bills then cash at the moment). If the arrears were caught up I wouldn't be in this position, and would have a bit of savings to boot. I've never been this tight financially. I have a good full time job, and a modest lifestyle.
There is a clause in the order that states "In the event either party will be late of unable to transport KIDDO to an exchange of care and control that party shall notify the other party at the earliest opportunity"
So...
I don't have the cash to do the driving this weekend. I spoke to Dad, shared that info, and said that while I could not make the drive this weekend he was more then welcome to come pick her up.
He yelled, and swore, called me all sorts of names and threatened me with police involvement and going back to court if I didn't drive Kiddo.
I pointed out that a number of future exchanges will be working to his benefit with summer vacation coming up and the grandparents helping facilitate transportation. Also pointed out that he's canceled 4 out of the last 5 weekends that he was to do the driving.
In the end I apologized, and said that I really couldn't do the drive this week, and that there wasn't a way around that. Also suggested again that he pick kiddo up, even suggested Kiddo take the afternoon off from school to make some extra time.
Dad ended the conversation with "If kiddo isn't there on Friday I'm calling the police"
I guess I'm looking for opinions.
Am I wrong in refusing to drive?
Should I try to borrow $, or leave something unpaid to drive?
If he were to call the police saying I'm refusing him time with kiddo (which I'm not) what is the likely outcome?
Background:
Child support is set up through MEP, but they are unable to collect the current obligations or the arrears as Dad works under the table. Dad's debts have continued to grow, and he's been clear he will avoid them as long as possible.
Dad was not involved much when kiddo was a baby, then cut all contact for several years. When he came back into kiddos life we gradually increased time until he was at EOW with holiday and summer time.
He cancels a lot of his time, sometimes letting me know a few days before, sometimes not telling me at all. He never tells kiddo that he's cancelling, and avoids calling/speaking to her until just before his next visit.
Kiddo and I live 3 hours away from where Dad is. This is actually an hour closer then where we once were, but the distance is still challenging. Driving is split in half, meeting at a midpoint Friday's and alternating who returns on the Sunday. That is the transportation as detailed is in our order.
Dad is remarried, and lives in the community we met in. I am single (and happy to be! ) We never lived together, and the relationship ended early in the pregnancy.
I've run into a bit of financial difficulties as of late (nothing outrageous, but with some much needed home repairs I have more bills then cash at the moment). If the arrears were caught up I wouldn't be in this position, and would have a bit of savings to boot. I've never been this tight financially. I have a good full time job, and a modest lifestyle.
There is a clause in the order that states "In the event either party will be late of unable to transport KIDDO to an exchange of care and control that party shall notify the other party at the earliest opportunity"
So...
I don't have the cash to do the driving this weekend. I spoke to Dad, shared that info, and said that while I could not make the drive this weekend he was more then welcome to come pick her up.
He yelled, and swore, called me all sorts of names and threatened me with police involvement and going back to court if I didn't drive Kiddo.
I pointed out that a number of future exchanges will be working to his benefit with summer vacation coming up and the grandparents helping facilitate transportation. Also pointed out that he's canceled 4 out of the last 5 weekends that he was to do the driving.
In the end I apologized, and said that I really couldn't do the drive this week, and that there wasn't a way around that. Also suggested again that he pick kiddo up, even suggested Kiddo take the afternoon off from school to make some extra time.
Dad ended the conversation with "If kiddo isn't there on Friday I'm calling the police"
I guess I'm looking for opinions.
Am I wrong in refusing to drive?
Should I try to borrow $, or leave something unpaid to drive?
If he were to call the police saying I'm refusing him time with kiddo (which I'm not) what is the likely outcome?
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