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  • #31
    Originally posted by stripes View Post
    On a lighter note, I had to laugh at the reference to the ex's brother and his friends out in the backyard "bending pigeons" while the shenanigans with OFW were going on - now they're animal abusers too! (I assume the judge meant they were "banding" pigeons, not "bending" them").
    I liked the pigeon coupe...like they were driving around town, maybe with the top down...

    More seriously, though, the part where she suddenly discovers she's Catholic, so she can get the Catholic CAS involved because the normal CAS figured her out? Talk about obsessive and desperate.

    I really do think this is one of those rare situations where the child is better off with no contact with the mom at all. But such an order would drive her to even more desperate actions. There's no clean win here for WorkingDAD and his little boy.

    Comment


    • #32
      Originally posted by Tayken View Post
      Stripes,

      I have a theory, based on my personal review of evidence based medical journals regarding the family relationships involving Axis II disorders of the personality that is best described by Dr. Christine Ann Lawson (Author: Understanding the Borderline Mother)...

      This theory is that personality disorders are an inherited disorder. SImilar to Dr. Lawson's perspective the various architypes of personality disorders can spread to offspring... .

      Good Luck!
      Tayken
      Oh do I agree with the above theory!!! My in-laws are all bat $hit crazy all but one of them ...

      I'm very happy for you WorkingDad - and especially for your child. It broke my heart to read about what you have both been through. Happy future

      Comment


      • #33
        Originally posted by Janibel View Post
        Oh do I agree with the above theory!!! My in-laws are all bat $hit crazy all but one of them ...
        It's hard to tell with families like that where heredity stops and environment starts - if you grow up in a situation where acting batsh!t crazy is the order of the day, that's going to shape what you think is normal or acceptable behavior. Hard to tell whether personality disorders are "inherited" through the genes or through the upbringing. (I think the genetic link with other psychiatric conditions like schizophrenia or major depression is clearer).

        My ex's family is a veritable DSM-IV , with everything from florid psychosis to borderline personality disorder to extreme ADHD, with a strong underlay of substance abuse to most of them. Holiday dinners were ... special. Looking back, I was extremely naive to think "I'm really lucky that ex is so amazingly resilient". He was just better at keeping the crazy hidden away.

        Comment


        • #34
          Originally posted by stripes View Post

          My ex's family is a veritable DSM-IV , with everything from florid psychosis to borderline personality disorder to extreme ADHD, with a strong underlay of substance abuse to most of them. Holiday dinners were ... special. Looking back, I was extremely naive to think "I'm really lucky that ex is so amazingly resilient". He was just better at keeping the crazy hidden away.
          Same here, my STBX was very talented at making me feel sorry for him - for having such a strange family (made the Adams look normal). When I say that only one of them was 'sane' - I was referring to the family dog!

          Comment


          • #35
            Originally posted by stripes View Post
            It's hard to tell with families like that where heredity stops and environment starts - if you grow up in a situation where acting batsh!t crazy is the order of the day, that's going to shape what you think is normal or acceptable behavior. Hard to tell whether personality disorders are "inherited" through the genes or through the upbringing. (I think the genetic link with other psychiatric conditions like schizophrenia or major depression is clearer).
            It is inherited both through environmental exposure (as you describe) and possibly through genetics. There is no clear answer in the research... yet... The evidence based medicine is limited in the area of psychology as it is a new field of medicine really.

            Comment


            • #36
              Hi All

              Here is update on this trial. Today Justice render his decision regarding cost. Unfortunately there will be no written endorsement since reason were provided orally but in nut shell it all came down to the following:

              1. Justice agree with analysis of the law, cost for self rep, ability to pay etc done for the trial 2011.
              2. All the same except this time Mother found to act in bad faith.
              3. Mother should not litigate with impunity and immunity
              4. Cost order - $20k all inclusive.

              That pretty much all (at least what I remember)

              Regards,
              WD

              Comment


              • #37
                Congrats!

                I hope it provides some closure on what must be a difficult road to travel.

                Comment


                • #38
                  Congrats! Now how will u collect that money? That's another uphill challenge

                  Comment


                  • #39
                    Originally posted by WorkingDAD View Post
                    Hi All

                    Here is update on this trial. Today Justice render his decision regarding cost. Unfortunately there will be no written endorsement since reason were provided orally but in nut shell it all came down to the following:

                    1. Justice agree with analysis of the law, cost for self rep, ability to pay etc done for the trial 2011.
                    2. All the same except this time Mother found to act in bad faith.
                    3. Mother should not litigate with impunity and immunity
                    4. Cost order - $20k all inclusive.

                    That pretty much all (at least what I remember)

                    Regards,
                    WD
                    Hopefully this will signal the other party in your matter to change their negative pattern of behaviour or provide the courts justification to do something to stop the onslaught of nonsense that you are constantly subjected to in your matter.

                    Good Luck!
                    Tayken

                    Comment


                    • #40
                      Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                      Hopefully this will signal the other party in your matter to change their negative pattern of behaviour or provide the courts justification to do something to stop the onslaught of nonsense that you are constantly subjected to in your matter.

                      Good Luck!
                      Tayken
                      As much as I'd hope, my faith is limited.....if the courts could change crazy, the line-up would be out the door for people looking for a fix....

                      Comment


                      • #41
                        Tell me she is at least barred from initiating any further action until those costs are paid in full?
                        Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                        Comment


                        • #42
                          WD. I hope the future is brighter for you all. I think Your son is lucky that you will be the parent who will make the right decisions and will hopefully include Mom ( even though she has issues and would not do the same for you) in his life when and where you can. I believe the judge made his decision knowing you will do the best for your child.

                          On the other topic that is coming up in this post " crazy runs in the family". I have always told my daughters to meet the boys family and if they are not who you would want to spend time with then dump the boy fast! 2 out of 3 listened and have great relationships and in laws. The 3 rd did not and now we have the rest of the story!

                          Comment


                          • #43
                            Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                            WD. I hope the future is brighter for you all. I think Your son is lucky that you will be the parent who will make the right decisions and will hopefully include Mom ( even though she has issues and would not do the same for you) in his life when and where you can. I believe the judge made his decision knowing you will do the best for your child.

                            On the other topic that is coming up in this post " crazy runs in the family". I have always told my daughters to meet the boys family and if they are not who you would want to spend time with then dump the boy fast! 2 out of 3 listened and have great relationships and in laws. The 3 rd did not and now we have the rest of the story!
                            I wish I had followed that advice.....I got along great with my FIL, who was divorced from my MIL when I met them.

                            Comment


                            • #44
                              Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                              Tell me she is at least barred from initiating any further action until those costs are paid in full?
                              Nope
                              It going to be next step (now with bankruptcy court ruling and second cost order hopefully court has enough).

                              WD

                              Comment


                              • #45
                                Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                                Tell me she is at least barred from initiating any further action until those costs are paid in full?
                                Probably not. But the good news is that the party can't extend this additional 20,000 in their bankruptcy claim as it has already been heard and an order issued in that matter.

                                Comment

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