Hi... I've been reading the posts for a while and decided to throw my story in for anyone to comment/suggest on.
I've been divorced for a couple years, seperated legally since 2004. I have 2 daughters... 8 and 10. I have sole custody, ex has isitation every other weekend.
Since last summer, ex went behind on payments and FRO wasn't doing much to enforce seeing that he was 'self employed' doing these events at local bars, they couldn't garnish. Once he received a drivers license suspension threat, ontop of a writ or seizure/sale AND a court date for him to appear regarding a defaulting on the CS, he finally made a few payments but is still in arrears. He has been in arrears off/on since the start.
The final default order states he must pay the original monthly amount and an additional $300 to the arrears. With the current arrears, it'll take him a year to get up to date. HE must start this as of May 1st. Does this mean it'll take FRO 35 days after May 1st to send him to jail if he doesn't comply? My ex seems to play with their time limits and gets around the drivers licenses suspensions and other actions when a few small payments are made. I honestly don't want him to go to jail, but it's been the only thing to smarten him into paying. He actually went out and found a full time job, first time since we split up.. and wages are starting to be garnished. He was under the thinking that he could do the self employment thing to get around garnishments. He doesn't feel the need to be working and supporting the kids. He told me he wanted to follow his dream of being a radio host instead of looking for work in the past. Life for him is 'all about him'.. he's very selfish and it's always about him.
When I went to court of the CS and access, I was granted sole custody and the judge had to ask him if he wanted to see the kids. All my ex was asking about was money .. never once asked about visitation. He ended up getting alternate weekend visits.
My ex's income was impuded back in 2008 when he attemtped to take me to court to lower CS but the judge found he was underemployed and was purposly fired from a really good paying job only 2 weeks after his garnishment started. He was trying to claim he only made $900 a month. So the judge impuded his income to the same as what I make. In all of this, the section 7 expenses were never dealt with, with the exception of daycare costs. He agreed to pay half. But he refuses to help cover the costs of dance, music and other extra activities. I have had to pay thousands of dollars to get them involved in things .. none of which he will help pay for. I don't think it's fair, but how do you change that so he must help? I've had to pay for their medical extra expenses and both of them will need orthodontic treatment in a few years, but nothing on paper that he has to help with half of that? NO idea how I can change that.
I must say that I never once have refused access over the arrears. At one point the arrears were close to 20k... but I don't want my children to suffer emotionally .. and visits continued... CS was seriously behind. My ex has been to court twice in the past 4 years for defaulting on CS.
My ex has remarried which I'm glad. They were in a place but when he came home from a carribean vacation (must be nice to go on a cruise when you are in arrears with child support) last December, he found he had been evicted from his place. He knows lives with his wife if a family members home. When the kids go to visit him, they have to sleep on the floor in the same room as them. Is it just me, I don't think that is right or proper. IT's been since January and no talk of them moving into a place where my kids will have at least a room to share. Any thoughts?
My ex tends to stay up pretty late.. and sleeps til 2pm. He tends to keep the kids up way to late as well... sometimes past midnight then lets them sleep in on the Sunday before they come home. My routine during the work week is getting them up by 6:45am and in bed by 8pm. He totally messes it up. his reasoning for doing so was that he would be able to spend more time with them.. and later admited that he wasn't putting their needs first and would try to change that. To date, this wasn't done. A month ago, the kids told me that the grandparents babysat while he went to work at a bar. He ended up picking them up at 3am and taking them home. I thought that was very wrong but again, what can I do to stop it?
My ex also owes me for court costs. Back when he took me to court to lower the support payments, but I won the court case... I applied for court costs and won. The judge ordered him to pay over 3k to me. I tried to have FRO add it to the arrears but they state it needs to be written in that court order that 1) it has to do with child support and 2) that FRO is able to collect it. Since those two things weren't on the judges endorsement, I am out of luck. I can take him to court and ask for a garnishment on his current work.. but I feel it would be incentive for him to quit his job.
One last thing... my ex refuses to provide me changes of employment.. I find out from my kids or people I know. The court order states he needs to notify me in writing within 7 days. It also states he has to provide me his last years income tax return by the June of the following year. I've asked him over 4 times for this and he refuses. He told me if I provide receipts for day care then he would provide that. Since he is self employed at the time, he would also need full financial disclosure of all documents to prove income. Is it really worth going to court over that? I think a judge would be a bit upset that he's not following the order.. but a contempt motion... not sure if I can do that myself and no funds for a lawyer since he doesn't help me financially other than maybe $180 a month where it should be over 1200.
My ex continues to spend money on electric guitars, video game systems, new tv's, trips ... but won't pay his child support. Makes me sick. He even refuses to buy them new clothes/shoes. ANything he has bought them.. is not allowed to go home with them. THey have a couple outfits they only wore 3 times because they outgrew them. Aren't these items the kids belonging and they can bring them home??
Any suggestions / advice on any of this would be great.
Thanks.
I've been divorced for a couple years, seperated legally since 2004. I have 2 daughters... 8 and 10. I have sole custody, ex has isitation every other weekend.
Since last summer, ex went behind on payments and FRO wasn't doing much to enforce seeing that he was 'self employed' doing these events at local bars, they couldn't garnish. Once he received a drivers license suspension threat, ontop of a writ or seizure/sale AND a court date for him to appear regarding a defaulting on the CS, he finally made a few payments but is still in arrears. He has been in arrears off/on since the start.
The final default order states he must pay the original monthly amount and an additional $300 to the arrears. With the current arrears, it'll take him a year to get up to date. HE must start this as of May 1st. Does this mean it'll take FRO 35 days after May 1st to send him to jail if he doesn't comply? My ex seems to play with their time limits and gets around the drivers licenses suspensions and other actions when a few small payments are made. I honestly don't want him to go to jail, but it's been the only thing to smarten him into paying. He actually went out and found a full time job, first time since we split up.. and wages are starting to be garnished. He was under the thinking that he could do the self employment thing to get around garnishments. He doesn't feel the need to be working and supporting the kids. He told me he wanted to follow his dream of being a radio host instead of looking for work in the past. Life for him is 'all about him'.. he's very selfish and it's always about him.
When I went to court of the CS and access, I was granted sole custody and the judge had to ask him if he wanted to see the kids. All my ex was asking about was money .. never once asked about visitation. He ended up getting alternate weekend visits.
My ex's income was impuded back in 2008 when he attemtped to take me to court to lower CS but the judge found he was underemployed and was purposly fired from a really good paying job only 2 weeks after his garnishment started. He was trying to claim he only made $900 a month. So the judge impuded his income to the same as what I make. In all of this, the section 7 expenses were never dealt with, with the exception of daycare costs. He agreed to pay half. But he refuses to help cover the costs of dance, music and other extra activities. I have had to pay thousands of dollars to get them involved in things .. none of which he will help pay for. I don't think it's fair, but how do you change that so he must help? I've had to pay for their medical extra expenses and both of them will need orthodontic treatment in a few years, but nothing on paper that he has to help with half of that? NO idea how I can change that.
I must say that I never once have refused access over the arrears. At one point the arrears were close to 20k... but I don't want my children to suffer emotionally .. and visits continued... CS was seriously behind. My ex has been to court twice in the past 4 years for defaulting on CS.
My ex has remarried which I'm glad. They were in a place but when he came home from a carribean vacation (must be nice to go on a cruise when you are in arrears with child support) last December, he found he had been evicted from his place. He knows lives with his wife if a family members home. When the kids go to visit him, they have to sleep on the floor in the same room as them. Is it just me, I don't think that is right or proper. IT's been since January and no talk of them moving into a place where my kids will have at least a room to share. Any thoughts?
My ex tends to stay up pretty late.. and sleeps til 2pm. He tends to keep the kids up way to late as well... sometimes past midnight then lets them sleep in on the Sunday before they come home. My routine during the work week is getting them up by 6:45am and in bed by 8pm. He totally messes it up. his reasoning for doing so was that he would be able to spend more time with them.. and later admited that he wasn't putting their needs first and would try to change that. To date, this wasn't done. A month ago, the kids told me that the grandparents babysat while he went to work at a bar. He ended up picking them up at 3am and taking them home. I thought that was very wrong but again, what can I do to stop it?
My ex also owes me for court costs. Back when he took me to court to lower the support payments, but I won the court case... I applied for court costs and won. The judge ordered him to pay over 3k to me. I tried to have FRO add it to the arrears but they state it needs to be written in that court order that 1) it has to do with child support and 2) that FRO is able to collect it. Since those two things weren't on the judges endorsement, I am out of luck. I can take him to court and ask for a garnishment on his current work.. but I feel it would be incentive for him to quit his job.
One last thing... my ex refuses to provide me changes of employment.. I find out from my kids or people I know. The court order states he needs to notify me in writing within 7 days. It also states he has to provide me his last years income tax return by the June of the following year. I've asked him over 4 times for this and he refuses. He told me if I provide receipts for day care then he would provide that. Since he is self employed at the time, he would also need full financial disclosure of all documents to prove income. Is it really worth going to court over that? I think a judge would be a bit upset that he's not following the order.. but a contempt motion... not sure if I can do that myself and no funds for a lawyer since he doesn't help me financially other than maybe $180 a month where it should be over 1200.
My ex continues to spend money on electric guitars, video game systems, new tv's, trips ... but won't pay his child support. Makes me sick. He even refuses to buy them new clothes/shoes. ANything he has bought them.. is not allowed to go home with them. THey have a couple outfits they only wore 3 times because they outgrew them. Aren't these items the kids belonging and they can bring them home??
Any suggestions / advice on any of this would be great.
Thanks.
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