I'm curious of the following scenario.
Lived together for close to 3 years, as soon as partner moved in she got pregnent and we have a child who is 2. Things are not going so well and I think a separation is imminent. I have some questions concerning divying up house, spousal support and child custody. I know nobody can give me a definitive answer I'm more looking for typical scenario range of what can happen for each.
Some more background, I own the house and purchased it before we even met so it's solely under my name, during our relationship I paid for the entire mortgage, property tax's, and all the household bills (I was adamant that stayed that way so it wouldn't come back to haunt me later). She has invested about $2500 into the house for the odd upgrade/cosmetic change. I make about $6000 more than her a year in salary, ie 55ish to my low 60ish salary. As for child we both love her very much, I feel I spend more time with her, I drive her to daycare, feed her all her meals, give her a bath each night, read/play with her more, take her out more to the park and swimming pool, etc. Our daughter has been in daycare for a year and she has paid the $800/month or so for it.
If we separate, I don't want this to get ugly at all and I will try and be as accomodating/ammicable as possible as I expect she will but... you never know. My questions are:
1) Child Custody
I'm off the believe that if both parents are capable, then both should get joint custody upon separation as I both believe we are and are both capable. I'd love to have full custody but would be willing to share. In this day and age, what typically happens is it more joint-custody or is it like it was many years ago when the mother typically won full custody by default? I feel I can make every argument in the world why I should be considered. Also if they do joint-custody? what procedure is in place to handle arguments (ie on what school the child should goto etc? Is their a 3rd party that gets the final say if we approach them or is one parent assigned the main decision maker?
2) Dividing up assets?
-Most of the furniture in the house I owned before our relationship, she brought in some of hers as well, I presume we keep our own respected pieces? I have receipts for most of my items
-House, as it is in my name and I owned it before, I understand typically it stays mine however she can make a claim for unjust enrichment and take back what she has invested? I have no problem giving her back any value she's invested into the house (ie the $2500, i don't think she can prove any of it but I'd be honest and agree to it)? Can she also claim back half what she put into daycare? Approximately what can I expect to have to return here? I also find it frustrating as I put more into things and did all the hardword to get the house and keep it paid, that she can recoop anything she invests yet I can't get any extra back that I do. Ie when one is spending $1800/month on bills/mortgage for almost 3 years. and for 1 year she was paying $800 seems quite frustrating that I have to re-imburse even though I carried the load.
I'll also add that in our relationship, anytime we went over budget, or had to tackle an emergency it all got dumped onto my credit. After 2.5 years and accumulating close to 15,000 in credit, I had to transfer it onto my mortgage to pay it off? would this sacrifice also be considered? I know their will be some balancing out on a separation but it's quite frustrating that I would be worse off now than I was before I met her whereas she would be much better off at my expense.
3) Spousal Support
As our salaries are fairly close middle income earning salaries, I make low 60's, she makes approx 55-56k. Would the judge award spousal support for a small difference in salary, I would have a hard time with the principal of this one, even if it's such a miniscule amount. (it would literally be $100 cheque a month i think to balance it out). I'd be more than willing to move forward and let her keep the $100/month cheque we get from gov't til our daughter is 7, and let her keep all the daycare receipts/tax claims (2000ish plus each year on tax return) to help disuade her from persuing or getting spousal support.
Another factor in this is she has no career aspirations beyond what she does whereas I do, I have to move forward and get a promotion but this is where I'd really take exception to this if I had to pay her spousal support. I understand the principle behind spousal support (ie dependant on the other person's salary, or if one parent stays home they look at it as they had the potential to make money which was lost with their sacrifice to stay home) In this case... we both have our careers and the exact same jobs when we entered our relationship and when/if it ended.
Lived together for close to 3 years, as soon as partner moved in she got pregnent and we have a child who is 2. Things are not going so well and I think a separation is imminent. I have some questions concerning divying up house, spousal support and child custody. I know nobody can give me a definitive answer I'm more looking for typical scenario range of what can happen for each.
Some more background, I own the house and purchased it before we even met so it's solely under my name, during our relationship I paid for the entire mortgage, property tax's, and all the household bills (I was adamant that stayed that way so it wouldn't come back to haunt me later). She has invested about $2500 into the house for the odd upgrade/cosmetic change. I make about $6000 more than her a year in salary, ie 55ish to my low 60ish salary. As for child we both love her very much, I feel I spend more time with her, I drive her to daycare, feed her all her meals, give her a bath each night, read/play with her more, take her out more to the park and swimming pool, etc. Our daughter has been in daycare for a year and she has paid the $800/month or so for it.
If we separate, I don't want this to get ugly at all and I will try and be as accomodating/ammicable as possible as I expect she will but... you never know. My questions are:
1) Child Custody
I'm off the believe that if both parents are capable, then both should get joint custody upon separation as I both believe we are and are both capable. I'd love to have full custody but would be willing to share. In this day and age, what typically happens is it more joint-custody or is it like it was many years ago when the mother typically won full custody by default? I feel I can make every argument in the world why I should be considered. Also if they do joint-custody? what procedure is in place to handle arguments (ie on what school the child should goto etc? Is their a 3rd party that gets the final say if we approach them or is one parent assigned the main decision maker?
2) Dividing up assets?
-Most of the furniture in the house I owned before our relationship, she brought in some of hers as well, I presume we keep our own respected pieces? I have receipts for most of my items
-House, as it is in my name and I owned it before, I understand typically it stays mine however she can make a claim for unjust enrichment and take back what she has invested? I have no problem giving her back any value she's invested into the house (ie the $2500, i don't think she can prove any of it but I'd be honest and agree to it)? Can she also claim back half what she put into daycare? Approximately what can I expect to have to return here? I also find it frustrating as I put more into things and did all the hardword to get the house and keep it paid, that she can recoop anything she invests yet I can't get any extra back that I do. Ie when one is spending $1800/month on bills/mortgage for almost 3 years. and for 1 year she was paying $800 seems quite frustrating that I have to re-imburse even though I carried the load.
I'll also add that in our relationship, anytime we went over budget, or had to tackle an emergency it all got dumped onto my credit. After 2.5 years and accumulating close to 15,000 in credit, I had to transfer it onto my mortgage to pay it off? would this sacrifice also be considered? I know their will be some balancing out on a separation but it's quite frustrating that I would be worse off now than I was before I met her whereas she would be much better off at my expense.
3) Spousal Support
As our salaries are fairly close middle income earning salaries, I make low 60's, she makes approx 55-56k. Would the judge award spousal support for a small difference in salary, I would have a hard time with the principal of this one, even if it's such a miniscule amount. (it would literally be $100 cheque a month i think to balance it out). I'd be more than willing to move forward and let her keep the $100/month cheque we get from gov't til our daughter is 7, and let her keep all the daycare receipts/tax claims (2000ish plus each year on tax return) to help disuade her from persuing or getting spousal support.
Another factor in this is she has no career aspirations beyond what she does whereas I do, I have to move forward and get a promotion but this is where I'd really take exception to this if I had to pay her spousal support. I understand the principle behind spousal support (ie dependant on the other person's salary, or if one parent stays home they look at it as they had the potential to make money which was lost with their sacrifice to stay home) In this case... we both have our careers and the exact same jobs when we entered our relationship and when/if it ended.
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