Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #41  
Old 01-07-2014, 04:16 PM
FWB's Avatar
FWB FWB is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 548
FWB is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
A claim that he f*cks his new GF in all the positions of the Kama Sutra will not stand up in court against the determinations of the WSIB.
Wow.....where did this come from? Please, you made me spit my afternoon tea out I mean the visual
Quote:
some people want to have excuses and play the blame game because they think it means they don't have to work for anything then.
Yes...entitlement piranhas

Quote:
instead of using it as an excuse.
This is just it, people use any excuse not to do anything.

Quote:
Either he finds work or he will have no money. Plain and simple.
dING dING dING

Quote:
It's easier to have an excuse that to have personal accountability.
Unfortunately....some people find that hard to do. I guess you can blame the parents really. Apples don't fall too far from the tree itself



@Trapped...

This is not "him" by any chance is it?

Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 01-07-2014, 04:17 PM
FB_ FB_ is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,414
FB_ will become famous soon enough
Default

The quickest and easiest way to get him out of the house is to ask him what he wants to leave.

This might not be the smartest or best path to take but it's the most likely to get him out ASAP...

Everything you have said so far seems to be very fair to him. Help him out as best you can all the while not letting him walk all over you. Him not wanting to go to court could obviously be used to your advantage. However if he knows you don't want to go to court he will use this to his advantage.

One option would be to put the house up for sale and just split it 50/50... Yes you will lose some of your down payment but he will have to move once the house is sold.. You could certainly tell him your taking your 20K off the top and start negotiating from there.

I would certainly stop carrying him...You are in no way responsible to do so.

EDIT: Since you are expecting to share your kids how do you expect him to get suitable living accommodations for the kids with no money?

Last edited by FB_; 01-07-2014 at 04:19 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 01-07-2014, 04:28 PM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Hamilton
Posts: 3,966
HammerDad will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FWB View Post
@Trapped...

This is not "him" by any chance is it?

Nope that was me at Christmas. My wife rocks!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 01-07-2014, 04:48 PM
Trapped Trapped is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 30
Trapped is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by FWB View Post

@Trapped...

This is not "him" by any chance is it?

LOL, pretty damn close! Only there's more staring at the screen and button pushing than embracing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
The quickest and easiest way to get him out of the house is to ask him what he wants to leave.

This might not be the smartest or best path to take but it's the most likely to get him out ASAP...

Everything you have said so far seems to be very fair to him. Help him out as best you can all the while not letting him walk all over you. Him not wanting to go to court could obviously be used to your advantage. However if he knows you don't want to go to court he will use this to his advantage.

One option would be to put the house up for sale and just split it 50/50... Yes you will lose some of your down payment but he will have to move once the house is sold.. You could certainly tell him your taking your 20K off the top and start negotiating from there.

I would certainly stop carrying him...You are in no way responsible to do so.

EDIT: Since you are expecting to share your kids how do you expect him to get suitable living accommodations for the kids with no money?
We could put the house up for sale but it will come with a big loss and a shared bill rather than shared payout. He wants more than I'm willing to offer (though has never said what exactly), but that's primarily because he has no concept of what it costs to sell a house (or buy one for that matter) nor does he even comprehend that next to nothing comes off the principal in the first few years. He barely knows what the term "principal" means. Negotiating with him is like trying to negotiate with a 13 yr old. They know they want something, but the concept of how everything else entailed is connected to the end result is beyond him. And I did spell this all out for him in laymen's terms with numbers and offered him more than what he would get if we sold. If I understand him correctly, he thinks he's entitled to value earned even after he moves. He thinks that simply by showing up to sign for the home 2.5 yrs ago he's somehow entitled to equity that is gained in 2 years from now or entitled to monies that I could potentially make in a sale should value go up in a few years. It's a really naive and uninformed view...

I have never said I don't want to go to court to him. Only he has said this to me. However, just because it's not my preference doesn't mean I wouldn't do it. For me, that would be the ultimate last resort. I think court needs to be reserved for the incredibly bitter or the incredibly screwed over to ensure fairness. Everything in between should, in theory, be able to be worked out between grown adults.

Saying he makes no money at all is not really accurate. He is making as much as my oldest daughter and her boyfriend who just moved out on their own and are expecting their first child. And this he gets for pushing buttons on his couch. He is at a point where he needs to find work and will be required to do so imminently so being able to get suitable living arrangements shouldn't be an issue either way.

At the very least I would like for him to have a plan and share it with me. Right now I have gotten nothing from him. He has no plan, no ideas, no timeline, no nothing. Basically, he has said or done nothing that would give any indication that he intends to do anything besides live off me...
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 01-07-2014, 04:55 PM
DowntroddenDad DowntroddenDad is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,702
DowntroddenDad will become famous soon enough
Default

Were I in your shoes, I would offer to split the house contents 50/50, and give him an amount equivalent to first and last months rent and maybe $500 for moving expenses. This is generous, but it also takes away the excuse that he can't afford to move.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 01-07-2014, 05:21 PM
Trapped Trapped is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 30
Trapped is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
Were I in your shoes, I would offer to split the house contents 50/50, and give him an amount equivalent to first and last months rent and maybe $500 for moving expenses. This is generous, but it also takes away the excuse that he can't afford to move.
I agree completely. I already offered 75% of the house contents and no financial contribution from him since November (received none since Oct) so he could save for rent. That was $1300 per month for his half were I to split everything in half in terms of hard costs, equaling $2600. But he never saved anything...

I suppose I can offer the 50/50 and a lump sum in the amount you mentioned upon him signing a quit claim deed. Doubt he'll take it though because he really believes that he deserves "something" for walking away from the house, despite the fact that he's contributed nothing. He seems to think that if I sold tomorrow that I'd have some sort of huge payout. I would be in the hole about $11,600, not including the cost to break the mortgage, and that is only if I got back what I paid. Right now, that's beyond unlikely.
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 01-07-2014, 05:23 PM
FWB's Avatar
FWB FWB is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 548
FWB is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Nope that was me at Christmas. My wife rocks!!!!
Hmmmm.....Did this accompany it?

Quote:
LOL, pretty damn close!
I try to inject "humour" when I can, we can laugh and joke about these things, and at least you saw the funny side of the pic

Quote:
Right now I have gotten nothing from him. He has no plan, no ideas, no timeline, no nothing.
That will go with how 'Mess' explained things earlier, in words I won't repeat

Quote:
This is generous, but it also takes away the excuse that he can't afford to move.
Ces't Vrai
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 01-07-2014, 05:28 PM
Berner_Faith Berner_Faith is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,359
Berner_Faith will become famous soon enough
Default

What happens if he just decides not to work and goes to Ontario Works? Just be prepared for this, because if he has not worked in a few years and you have been supporting him, if he goes to OW, they could come after you for Spousal Support.

Sometimes you have no choice but court. How long are you willing to have him stay there? It is his house too, whether he is contributing or not. He has just as much right to that house as you do, so you can't really force him out. May be time to lawyer up just to get the ball rolling. Once he knows you are serious, he might be more willing to negotiate.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 01-07-2014, 06:20 PM
Trapped Trapped is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Ontario
Posts: 30
Trapped is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
What happens if he just decides not to work and goes to Ontario Works? Just be prepared for this, because if he has not worked in a few years and you have been supporting him, if he goes to OW, they could come after you for Spousal Support.

Sometimes you have no choice but court. How long are you willing to have him stay there? It is his house too, whether he is contributing or not. He has just as much right to that house as you do, so you can't really force him out. May be time to lawyer up just to get the ball rolling. Once he knows you are serious, he might be more willing to negotiate.
I'm aware that in law he has equal rights to it as I do. But the fact is that his entitlement came from him putting some ink to paper and little else. He didn't work to earn the down payment, he didn't work to get the house, he didn't work to pay for the mortgage, he didn't work to save the house either when his poor decisions almost made us lose it. Does that mean anything in the end? Maybe not...

He's been on WSIB since the end of June so it's been 6 months and I severed our relationship 3.5 months ago. I don't know that he's entitled to welfare considering the circumstances but who knows what the requirements are for that anymore.

As for how long I'm willing to have him stay, well, that really depends on the level of respect I get. If he were actually making a plan and articulating it, not treating me like his personal babysitter, and not bringing his girlfriend into the home that I'm paying for and exposing her to my very young children I'd be more willing to let him stay longer if he needed to. I'm not seeing anyone new and am in no hurry to have the "home to myself". However, he's been lying about his whereabouts and is gone all night and day several times a week while I'm left to care for not only our children but his as well. He has 2 boys that are not ours. One lives here and the other visits every other wknd.

The fact is I have told him all this. He will tell me I'm taking advantage of him by asking him to leave????? He basically tries to say "no, you are!" to everything I say, whether it makes sense or not. And on and on really... All I want is some respect for my personal space, my children, and the fact that I'm basically paying for him to live. Apparently, that's asking too much.
Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 01-07-2014, 06:49 PM
mcdreamy's Avatar
mcdreamy mcdreamy is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,441
mcdreamy is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trapped View Post
I'm aware that in law he has equal rights to it as I do. But the fact is that his entitlement came from him putting some ink to paper and little else. He didn't work to earn the down payment, he didn't work to get the house, he didn't work to pay for the mortgage, he didn't work to save the house either when his poor decisions almost made us lose it. Does that mean anything in the end? Maybe not...
You are correct, it doesn't mean a thing.

Have you been to the bank to arrange a refinance in your own name? No one is going to advise him to move out, or to sign a quit claim, until, at the minimum, he knows he is off the mortgage as well.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
common law, common law issues


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Loss of 'out-laws'... May_May General Chat 9 07-19-2011 06:19 PM
Compensation for re-education due to loss of job during marriage?? ForwardFromHere Divorce & Family Law 31 02-17-2011 10:21 AM
Job Loss Notification - What is Required? #1StepMom Divorce & Family Law 9 08-20-2009 10:53 AM
Help! Job Loss CS/ s7's/ Extra Expences and Costs Chopper Financial Issues 6 01-27-2009 01:20 PM
what do i do for the loss of the housing retardedman Common Law Issues 2 12-08-2008 07:09 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:24 AM.