Separation agreement - Boyfriend & Extended Family

[Mess]

1. Both parents agree to put the children's interests ahead of their own. Both parents agree not to disparage the other parent either in front of the children or to third-parties.
2. Residential Schedule (I prefer this to "access", especially if you have shared.) Advice is to make switches through drop-off and pick-up at school to minimize the dependance on the other parent showing up, being on time, having them ready for the switch. Friday after school to Monday morning drop off at school is preferred, it allows the parent contact with teachers, etc.
3. Legal Custody (decision making.) If parallel, state the split of duties; include a clause that requires the other parent to be informed of decisions even if they are not part of the decision making. Clause regarding informing the other parent of results of doctor's visits and dental checkups, exchange of medications.
4. Primary residence for purposes of school district;
5. Mobility clause. Neither parent should suffer the children moving out of range; the school will end up being the centre of their universe (friends, sports, clubs, etc.)
6. Holiday schedule; Christmas/New Years, March break, long weekends thoughout the year.
7. Summer vacation; not just your two weeks away but what will happen with the children when off school. Camp? Grandma's? Will the weekly schedule change?
8. Summer vaction with parents. Giving each other sufficient notice to book vacation time. Specify what "2 weeks" means since it will probably cross over into three weekends. This is common conflict.
9. Birthdays. The kids' birthdays, the parents' birthdays. Also a good spot to reference Mother's and Father's day. Possibly reference extended family birthdays.
10. Right of first refusal for child care. Minimum time? If it's an hour do you want to fuss if the other parent leaves the child with a sitter or a neighbour? Any restrictions in mind about who may babysit?
11. Sufficient notice to exchange nights if something comes up, agree to not unreasonably refuse.
12. Sports and recreation. Agree to discuss and agree sports, clubs, recreation, etc. since this will probably cross into both parent's residential time. If the children are already registered or there are plans, if they have shown interest, make specific mention.
13. Transportation. As per #1, switch over should primarily be done using school days/camp/daycare to minimize having to co-ordinate and rely on each other. Sometimes switches will have to be made in person. Who drives? Neutral drop off site?
14. Sick days. How will they be handled? Child stays with the parent they woke up with? Will you still switch in the evening? Who takes time off work?
15. Communication. Preferred or required means of parent-parent communication. Email only? Communication book? Our Family Wizard?
16. Calculation of child support. Exchange of financial information yearly. Should include full tax return, not just NOA so that section 7 can be calculated using full after tax income, not just line 150 (i.e. including CCTB). Date when CS will be updated each year (for example 1 month after tax deadline.)
17. Split of section 7 expenses. Agreed threshold for section 7 vs. ordinary activities. For example more than $200 per month? Requirement for copy of receipts to be exchanged. (My preference, each will pay some of expense directly so that both parents have contact with sports teams, daycare, etc. and neither parent is seen as "in charge" by administrators.)
18. Dispute resolution. Agree on a local mediator/firm.

[baldclub]

Thanks Mess