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Divorce & Family Law This forum is for discussing any of the legal issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 06-27-2020, 09:03 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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If I was OP I would be telling my ex Im going back to work and kid is going back to daycare.

I would also sort out off set cs and tell him if he doesnít exercise his parenting time Iím filing for full table cs.

The only concern I would have with his parenting would be if the kid was left in a dirty diaper causing a rash. Baths and teeth brushing are moot.

But truly you canít make someone parent so if his basic skills are lacking in that he doesnít even want to SEE his kid then just get it formalized and be done with it. If you think this is hard wait until you have university tuition to pay!
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  #12  
Old 06-28-2020, 02:29 AM
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Tayken Tayken is offline
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Sorry... I am feeling cynical at the moment.

I see this matter going nowhere other than a posting on this website. Here we have two parents and neither have the capital it takes to go to court. Should the original poster actually consider the financial burden they will be undertaking to bring such nonsense (bathing, father doesn't want kid, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah) to court they will simply continue down the same path.

Crappy lawyer: 360 an hour
A good lawyer: 450 an hour
The lawyer you should hire who will tell you NOT to go to court with any of this nonsense: Priceless (Well, around 550-680 an hour.)

Do you have 35,000+ to bring the motion to start this? Then do you have the 150,000+ to carry this all the way to what will be a multi-year waiting period to trial?

Less cynical view:

Nothing you put in your details are substantial nor relevant to the court. I have read hundreds (if not thousands) of affidavits composed of paragraphs similar to what you have written. They are all baseless allegations simply dealt with one big simple and sweeping denial response.

I do not agree with paragraphs x, y, z, a, b, c, xxx, yyy, zzz, as they are all based on emotional hearsay evidence from the Applicant.

I have never seen a case "won" on baseless hearsay allegations like you have outlined. Its a lost cause to even dream about court ordering in your favour. The bar has to be high on your side and you need the other parent to be an atrocious parent these days for 50-50 not to be ordered.

A "father" who opposes and requests 50-50 has a high probability of success if they have qualified counsel guiding them and they follow their advice. Usually these qualified lawyers now come with over-qualified parental consultants that ghost write all correspondence on behalf of the parent. Especially in high-conflict situations that are about "nothing burgers".

Evidence matters. So does being cogent and relevant. If the other parent in this matter pulls out a proper lawyer... Say anyone from Epstine Cole you will be paying significant costs on your baseless allegations. Even if the father says stupid shit. Nothing I have read in this thread would raise the bar to the point of "sole custody and majority access" in your favour. In fact, the multi-year status quo that is already established by your past pattern of parental behaviour does not work in your favour.

Court is the ultimate last resort. You are not close in my opinion. Avoid court like it is COVID-19 infected with SARS and EBOLA with heavy dose of the PLAGUE.

Court = conflict. It creates me vs them all the time. No one walks away from court richer, happier or satisfied. The ultimate looser are the children.

Good Luck!
Tayken

As Janus didn't say anything about I will here:

What earns a dad 50/50?

The title of this whole thread is nonsense. What earn's a mother 50/50? What earns a mother "sole custody"?

Fathers, mothers, transgender fathers, transgender mothers, gay fathers, lesbian mothers, blah blah blah all have EQUAL custody of children as outlined in law. Access (50/50) is what the courts start with.

Parents who don't have equal access and joint custody typically:

1. Gave it away.
2. Are horrible parents that let children eat glass.

50-50 is the "new normal". Get used to it.

Your title should read: What "stuff" do I need to make up about a father to make sure I get "sole custody"? (Bathing? That I think he doesn't want the kid? That he goes out to eat? That he purchased a guitar? Other petty "stuff"?)

Last edited by Tayken; 06-28-2020 at 02:37 AM.
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  #13  
Old 06-30-2020, 10:29 AM
iona6656 iona6656 is offline
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OP- my daughter is the same age as your son. And her dad and I have been split as long as you have...so I understand the challenges of co-parenting from baby --> toddler.

3.5yr olds are hard. if dad really doesn't make his son a priority- then it will play out in the parenting time.

my advice- give him the time. one of two things will happen- he'll step up, or he'll go right back to status quo. There is the other possibility that he'll kinda be a shitty parent. And my ex certainly did that at the beginning (didn't take care of her skin- she has REALLY bad eczema), couldn't get her to eat- to the point she'd come home screaming hungry. It's hard, it's painful to watch...but ultimately- if it's not going to do them long term harm...welllll....it sucks, but maybe they just got a shitty parent? And the only way for them to learn IS actually parenting the kid.
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