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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

View Poll Results: What to do about support to 20 yr old estranged daughter
Just do nothing and keep paying 0 0%
Explain everything to FRO agent in wriring 0 0%
Stop payments until receive papers 1 25.00%
Seek legal advice 3 75.00%
Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 07-26-2010, 07:13 PM
canadaprince canadaprince is offline
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Default Support to an estranged 20 yr old daughter

When I decided to separate from my X, I could not tolerate her abuse any longer. She had become very emotional and verbally abusive to the point I had no self esteem any more. Unfortunately, I had to leave my daughter behind. I tried writing her emails to express my love for her as a father but then a few months later I was told by my x's lawyer to cease writing to my daughter. Suddenly last year, through communication to my lawyer, my X suggested that I write my daughter to which I started writing. My problem is the paying of support. My agreement states that I need to pay support to my daughter until she has reached the age of 23 IF she is unable to work due to education or disability. During this past year my daughter has stated that she will need more money in order for her to continue education. Then I suggested to her that if she sent me all the papers regarding her marks ever since she finished high school I know I would be able to do something more. Her reply then was, just to trust her that she is in school but that she will NOT send me any information to prove that she is in school. What should I do? If I inquire of the FRO, they will ask my greedy X about it and she will say "yes" and the FRO will continue to enforce payment. How can I find out if she really is going to university as the privacy laws do not permit me to ask of her marks or attendance? Going through a lawyer just to find out an answer is expensive. How do I approach the FRO about this? Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.
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Old 07-26-2010, 08:52 PM
Mess Mess is offline
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You have a court order to pay support while she is in school. You must obey the court order. If you want to change the order, you have to have a motion to vary. You need to have some kind of evidence to have your motion succeed. You are within your rights to ask for confirmation of her enrollment, attendance, etc. If she does not provide it, then you have reason to try a motion.

I would suggest writing your ex requiring documentation and warning her that you will seek a motion to vary if it is not provided. Don't go through your daughter, although I'm sure she will say something to her. The order you have is to pay your ex, not your daughter, it is your ex who should be providing you with the information.
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Old 07-26-2010, 09:27 PM
LostFather LostFather is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadaprince View Post
When I decided to separate from my X, I could not tolerate her abuse any longer. She had become very emotional and verbally abusive to the point I had no self esteem any more. Unfortunately, I had to leave my daughter behind. I tried writing her emails to express my love for her as a father but then a few months later I was told by my x's lawyer to cease writing to my daughter. Suddenly last year, through communication to my lawyer, my X suggested that I write my daughter to which I started writing. My problem is the paying of support. My agreement states that I need to pay support to my daughter until she has reached the age of 23 IF she is unable to work due to education or disability. During this past year my daughter has stated that she will need more money in order for her to continue education. Then I suggested to her that if she sent me all the papers regarding her marks ever since she finished high school I know I would be able to do something more. Her reply then was, just to trust her that she is in school but that she will NOT send me any information to prove that she is in school. What should I do? If I inquire of the FRO, they will ask my greedy X about it and she will say "yes" and the FRO will continue to enforce payment. How can I find out if she really is going to university as the privacy laws do not permit me to ask of her marks or attendance? Going through a lawyer just to find out an answer is expensive. How do I approach the FRO about this? Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.

i agree with mess and would say I would find it highly suspect that she is not willing to provide you with the information, what really is there to hide? To me I think maybe she is not in school. I would send the letter, but you need to fol;low through with it. Let her know you're not fooling around. It is simple basic info that if you're paying for it you should be entitled to the info.

It would take much, you must have an idea where she is, be resourceful and I think you'll come up with a way to get your information.
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