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  • #16
    My ex is after the $300k in my business for SS and CS- 7 years after separation and when the business was started 5 years ago with my now wife. I worked incredibly hard in foreign 3rd world seaports to build that capital so that I could turn to financing and chartering ships with another partner. Business plan was laid out a few years ago so I don't have to travel as much/be in dangerous areas. The cash literally almost all goes out every month to pay for equipment, contractors, etc. and then comes back in. She filed last week and I haven't been served yet. She thinks I'm hiding money but will soon find out I've been 100% legitimate. Its frustrating.

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    • #17
      Originally posted by rockscan View Post
      Oh iona, go back and read this one�s posts. She quit her relatively high paying job to start her own business, pays her new bf a salary but not herself and has expected her ex to pay for her lifestyle the last four years. He�s finally pulled the trigger on ending this mess but she wants to continue to live the high life on his dime.


      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
      I started paying myself a small salary after my business qualified for the wage subsidy. I don't deserve to be put out on the streets because my ex decided he didn't want to support our joint lifestyle together. He wants our kids and him to live the good life while trying to force me to start from scratch.

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      • #18
        Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
        look- I know coming out the financial "loser" in these situations feels like someone stuck a red hot lump of coal in your stomach coated with a good deal of shame thrown in.

        both my ex and his sister are CPAs- and about a month before our separation (which was precipitous) he started withdrawing funds and doing all kinds of shady shit. He put a lock on his "office" in our house.

        all this to say- spend your money on therapy and dealing with where your life goes from now. There will be an end to all of this- and from the sounds of it- your ex is going to always have more money than you. So you can either move on and live a good life- or hold onto this.

        question- why is it that you can't earn enough money on your own to live?
        I will never be able to earn as much as he does. He has a professional degree. I only have a college diploma. I need time to get myself started up and running. He just needs to support me until I do.

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        • #19
          Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
          I started paying myself a small salary after my business qualified for the wage subsidy. I don't deserve to be put out on the streets because my ex decided he didn't want to support our joint lifestyle together. He wants our kids and him to live the good life while trying to force me to start from scratch.

          He isn’t putting you out into the streets. You chose to open a business and pay your new bf rather than take an income. You are also wasting money on legal arguments to create entitlement. Your ex is no longer responsible for you and you need to accept that. Because he worked hard and in a field where he earns more he has to keep you? Because you chose a risky career and made bad financial decisions he should keep you. If you think someone else should support you then go out and find another sugar daddy to do so.


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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          • #20
            Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
            I will never be able to earn as much as he does. He has a professional degree. I only have a college diploma. I need time to get myself started up and running. He just needs to support me until I do.

            I’d like to note that my career is based on my college diploma and I make a very healthy salary. Sure I worked hard to get here but I also wouldn’t make a bone headed decision to quit and start my own business.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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            • #21
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Oh iona, go back and read this one�s posts. She quit her relatively high paying job to start her own business, pays her new bf a salary but not herself and has expected her ex to pay for her lifestyle the last four years. He�s finally pulled the trigger on ending this mess but she wants to continue to live the high life on his dime.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
              fucking yikes. I read the other thread of the OP.

              The level of entitlement is strong with this one.

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              • #22
                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                He isn�t putting you out into the streets. You chose to open a business and pay your new bf rather than take an income. You are also wasting money on legal arguments to create entitlement. Your ex is no longer responsible for you and you need to accept that. Because he worked hard and in a field where he earns more he has to keep you? Because you chose a risky career and made bad financial decisions he should keep you. If you think someone else should support you then go out and find another sugar daddy to do so.


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                When my ex husband met me I was successfully running 2 businesses which I sold. After the sale I didn't get properly paid out and ended up in a legal battle with my ex business partner that lasted years. My ex didn't seem to mind living off of me for a couple years when he wasn't making money. It's not fair that he decided he can just ditch me when I'm older, gave him 2 kids and don't make as much as I used to.

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                • #23
                  Originally posted by iona6656 View Post
                  fucking yikes. I read the other thread of the OP.

                  The level of entitlement is strong with this one.
                  I am trying to come out of this divorce with what I deserve.

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                  • #24
                    Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                    When my ex husband met me I was successfully running 2 businesses which I sold. After the sale I didn't get properly paid out and ended up in a legal battle with my ex business partner that lasted years. My ex didn't seem to mind living off of me for a couple years when he wasn't making money. It's not fair that he decided he can just ditch me when I'm older, gave him 2 kids and don't make as much as I used to.

                    Or you thought you were entitled like you are now and you wasted money on a fight.

                    Now your ex was out of work and lived off you. Your story keeps changing. Im sure his side would be quite interesting.

                    The bottom line is, you aren’t entitled to what you think you are and keep grasping at different things to try to get what you want versus what you actually deserve.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                    • #25
                      Reading Iona and rockscan call out greed and entitlement (not referring to the legal definition) puts a smile on my face given my situation

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                      • #26
                        Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                        Or you thought you were entitled like you are now and you wasted money on a fight.

                        Now your ex was out of work and lived off you. Your story keeps changing. Im sure his side would be quite interesting.

                        The bottom line is, you aren�t entitled to what you think you are and keep grasping at different things to try to get what you want versus what you actually deserve.


                        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                        My story has never changed. I just didn't give all the details I didn't think were relevant while asking for advice on the forum.

                        When my ex husband and I first met I was running 2 very successful businesses and he was finishing his CPA program so I supported him financially and paid off some of his debt. Later on I ended up selling my portion of the business to my business partner after 1.5 years into the relationship with my ex. The money for the sale of the business was supposed to be given to me later on so we lived and spent on this expectation. Unfortunately my business partner screwed me and didn't pay me out and my ex husband had to borrow from family and friends to pay down living expenses (which he repaid but is claiming he didn't).

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                        • #27
                          All of that is considered marital debt and expenses. You can’t argue you deserve extra money because you put him through school. The court doesnt look at it that way. Plus you waited four years and made a poor financial decision starting another business during that time. You need to look at date of marriage and date of separation. You can make an offer but if he says no, you are not guaranteed to get it in court and run the risk of costs.

                          Again, you end up wasting money on the fight which puts you in the position you don’t want to be in as loser mom.


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                          • #28
                            to OP

                            just listen to rockscan and Iona. Yes they may sound harsh and their words are bursting more bubbles than kids blowing them but it is a lot cheaper. The only thing worth fighting for are your kids wellbeing.
                            The relationship is long and over. Make an offer and make the best out of your life.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                              My story has never changed.
                              Ignore the rants. The daily hypocrisy should be views simply as entertainment. This user is the forum's Dunning-Kruger; just smile and nod.

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                              • #30
                                Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                                All of that is considered marital debt and expenses. You can�t argue you deserve extra money because you put him through school. The court doesnt look at it that way. Plus you waited four years and made a poor financial decision starting another business during that time. You need to look at date of marriage and date of separation. You can make an offer but if he says no, you are not guaranteed to get it in court and run the risk of costs.

                                Again, you end up wasting money on the fight which puts you in the position you don�t want to be in as loser mom.


                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                                One of my problems is that my ex is trying to claim repaid debt is still outstanding to minimize the equalization payment. He's also trying to claim that all legal fees I spent in court for the sale of my business should be used only against me because it was an event that occurred prior to marriage that triggered it. I know nobody is very sympathetic to my cause but he's plain and simple trying to screw me. And I am trying to come out of this with the least financial impact possible.

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