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  • #76
    Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
    But you do understand you don’t have a choice right? If you want support you must follow the rules. Sorry but you are going to look bad in court. But you don’t seem to be understanding how this process works. You should do some research on the actual forms you must fill out. You’ll get your eyes open. You’re not afraid of being bankrupt. You’re afraid of having an income imputed because you quit a good paying job and now can’t afford life so you want your ex to pay more.


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    This.

    Also, not being in court yet doesn’t make you exempt from providing disclosure. Judges EXPECT parties to work together to reach a resolution. Having a judge ORDER you to do what you are obligated to do is bad. You also run the risk of having to pay his legal costs when a judge orders you to provide disclosure. Do you have the money for his legal fees? What will be cheaper, his fees or the fee for the valuation?

    You continue to make this worse for yourself. Instead of digging a deeper hole, get out of the one you are in and start doing what you are supposed to do. It will be much cheaper in the long run. Your ex is not responsible for you anymore.


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    • #77
      OP is coming across really childish and selfish. Members have been giving sound advice and a reality check (for free) but OP keeps trying to create her own reality.

      At this rate, I'm afraid she'll only learn when the other party files a motion for disclosure and OP is ordered to provide it as well as gets dinged for legal costs.

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      • #78
        Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
        But you do understand you don�t have a choice right? If you want support you must follow the rules. Sorry but you are going to look bad in court. But you don�t seem to be understanding how this process works. You should do some research on the actual forms you must fill out. You�ll get your eyes open. You�re not afraid of being bankrupt. You�re afraid of having an income imputed because you quit a good paying job and now can�t afford life so you want your ex to pay more.


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
        I did provide some financial disclosure last year but my ex told me it was insufficient as I listed total family expenses instead of my current expenses. My lawyer at the time had further questions for my ex so he requested additional financial disclosure, which resulted in my ex requesting more disclosure from me. It cost a lot of money and resulted in my lawyer advising my ex's lawyer that we will not be continuously exchanging disclosure until necessary but now I need money and am in a bad position.

        I admit I am worried about income being inputted to me. Some of the work I do is in exchange for services instead of payment so that may cause some trouble.

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        • #79
          Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
          I did provide some financial disclosure last year but my ex told me it was insufficient as I listed total family expenses instead of my current expenses. My lawyer at the time had further questions for my ex so he requested additional financial disclosure, which resulted in my ex requesting more disclosure from me. It cost a lot of money and resulted in my lawyer advising my ex's lawyer that we will not be continuously exchanging disclosure until necessary but now I need money and am in a bad position.

          I admit I am worried about income being inputted to me. Some of the work I do is in exchange for services instead of payment so that may cause some trouble.

          Well I guess it’s necessary now right? You should have Income imputed to you. Would you be okay if your ex quit his job and asked to drastically reduce support? Or would you expect him to work to his full ability or have an income imputed?


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          • #80
            Just hand over the disclosure. The more you worry about it the more money you waste.


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            • #81
              Originally posted by rockscan View Post
              Just hand over the disclosure. The more you worry about it the more money you waste.


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              Can someone explain to me the consequence of me not asking for the middle/high range of spousal support right off the bat? My lawyer told me it would be difficult for me to raise a retroactive spousal and child support claim 4 years later down the road since I haven't' raised the issue in the past. If I am still entitled to those support amounts why would it make a difference if I got it now or later on as a retroactive claim? My lawyer also spoke with my ex's lawyer today and it seems like they are going to be arguing I will not be entitled to spousal support increase in my ex's income since separation. It seems like he is doing very well for himself during a pandemic.

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              • #82
                Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                Can someone explain to me the consequence of me not asking for the middle/high range of spousal support right off the bat? My lawyer told me it would be difficult for me to raise a retroactive spousal and child support claim 4 years later down the road since I haven't' raised the issue in the past. If I am still entitled to those support amounts why would it make a difference if I got it now or later on as a retroactive claim?
                Spousal support and child support are two different things. CS is based on income and custody time and is set at a specific amount. Which means if he wasn’t paying the proper amount of child support in those five years you can request arrears based on the tables.

                Spousal support involves entitlement and you should have had an order for it made immediately to have it set. Your lawyer is right that it will be difficult to demonstrate your entitlement four years later as you technically “agreed” to the amount he was paying in that time. You can’t suddenly say “oh wait I think I deserve more.”

                My lawyer also spoke with my ex's lawyer today and it seems like they are going to be arguing I will not be entitled to spousal support increase in my ex's income since separation. It seems like he is doing very well for himself during a pandemic.
                As they should. You accepted the amounts he was paying for four years and would have continued to accept it if he hadn’t demanded the house be sold. Plus you quit a good paying job to open your own business that you do not draw a salary from. He should outline that you are perfectly fine with what he paid as you made the boneheaded decision to sit on it and then quit your job. If the roles were reversed would you want to fork over thousands per month to your ex? More than likely no.

                There are a lot of jobs that have done well in the pandemic including many high income earners. He should not be penalized because he makes smart financial decisions and you don’t.


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                • #83
                  Rockscan is absolutely correct but I wanted to add...

                  Spousal support has three ranges, low, medium and high. If it was determined or agreed upon that you’d only receive the low end, getting that changed, especially retro is super tough... especially since you now want more money since you quit a job... honestly I can’t believe how long you keep arguing this. You’re going to lose and you could end up paying your ex’s court costs.

                  Please answer this simple question...

                  If your ex quit his well paying job, would you be okay with child support and spousal support being drastically reduced?


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                  • #84
                    Originally posted by rockscan View Post
                    Spousal support and child support are two different things. CS is based on income and custody time and is set at a specific amount. Which means if he wasn�t paying the proper amount of child support in those five years you can request arrears based on the tables.

                    Spousal support involves entitlement and you should have had an order for it made immediately to have it set. Your lawyer is right that it will be difficult to demonstrate your entitlement four years later as you technically �agreed� to the amount he was paying in that time. You can�t suddenly say �oh wait I think I deserve more.�



                    As they should. You accepted the amounts he was paying for four years and would have continued to accept it if he hadn�t demanded the house be sold. Plus you quit a good paying job to open your own business that you do not draw a salary from. He should outline that you are perfectly fine with what he paid as you made the boneheaded decision to sit on it and then quit your job. If the roles were reversed would you want to fork over thousands per month to your ex? More than likely no.

                    There are a lot of jobs that have done well in the pandemic including many high income earners. He should not be penalized because he makes smart financial decisions and you don�t.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                    My lawyer explained I could claim a retroactive child support claim but since the special expenses are so high he would just request I pay my share of these expenses retroactively in response

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                    • #85
                      Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                      Rockscan is absolutely correct but I wanted to add...

                      Spousal support has three ranges, low, medium and high. If it was determined or agreed upon that you�d only receive the low end, getting that changed, especially retro is super tough... especially since you now want more money since you quit a job... honestly I can�t believe how long you keep arguing this. You�re going to lose and you could end up paying your ex�s court costs.

                      Please answer this simple question...

                      If your ex quit his well paying job, would you be okay with child support and spousal support being drastically reduced?


                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
                      I did not agree to it. He decided on an unilateral amount but I can see why they would infer I accepted this.

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                      • #86
                        Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                        I did not agree to it. He decided on an unilateral amount but I can see why they would infer I accepted this.

                        You still haven’t answered the question.

                        If your ex quit his job would you be okay with taking less CS and SS?


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                        • #87
                          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
                          You still haven�t answered the question.

                          If your ex quit his job would you be okay with taking less CS and SS?


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                          I would not be okay with taking less CS and SS but I am trying to become more independent by having my own business so I can be less dependent on him. I just need more time. 4 years is not enough time.

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                          • #88
                            Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                            I would not be okay with taking less CS and SS but I am trying to become more independent by having my own business so I can be less dependent on him. I just need more time. 4 years is not enough time.

                            You could go back to the job that paid you more than you are now... four years is plenty of time to get on your feet, but you made a poor decision and now want him to pay for it. But I mean your ex should be able to do the same as you, so you should be willing to take a decrease for him to hopefully become more independent as well. If it’s not okay for him it’s not okay for you. But you’ll find that out the hard way [emoji4]


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                            • #89
                              Originally posted by trueblue22 View Post
                              I would not be okay with taking less CS and SS but I am trying to become more independent by having my own business so I can be less dependent on him. I just need more time. 4 years is not enough time.

                              Four years is more than some spouses get. Plus you weren’t working to become independent based on your actions and comments here.

                              As I said before, time to put on your big girl pants and get your shit together.


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                              • #90
                                When will ODF get a like/dislike button, or at least have the moderators mark it as "This post is disputed".

                                The hoodwinking by some is astonishing.

                                Comment

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