"Forced" Family Wizard (or equivalent)

[Serene]

Which read receipt service are you using? And is it with Gmail or hotmail? Weird that they don't know you are using it...

[smileandwalkaway]

I know what I would need is a very clear and concisely worded order that explicitly states the responsibilities of both myself and the ex.

A means to document the transmission of communication is something I'd value. Yes, I do a good job personally but I cannot control the ex. I want to know if he has opened a message and if so when because he does not acknowledge anything.

It would also help organize/keep track of any disclosure of tax papers, receipts, access schedules, etc.

I know ex will resist. He will claim it is not possible because he does not have internet (all my correspondence has been email for years & I know he regularly uses Facebook). He will also claim that he cannot afford it (despite him making more money than me... He just chooses to spend his money in ways that I don't).

Forced to subscribe is a must for him. Compliance and enforceability of this compliance will be my hurdle. This is what has me procrastinating the effort to have this ordered... Will it be worth my hassle and expense to "force" him to subscribe?

I am just so frustrated with ex getting away with this panting dead possum act. I have walked away from virtually everything because it is just not worth the fight...

[arabian]

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

I am just so frustrated with ex getting away with this panting dead possum act. I have walked away from virtually everything because it is just not worth the fight...

Your ex has obviously found that his "panting dead possum act" works.

[dad2bandm]

Originally Posted by Serene

Which read receipt service are you using? And is it with Gmail or hotmail? Weird that they don't know you are using it...

ReadNotify.com is such a service.

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

Can you "force" someone to use a service such as Family Wizard with some expectation for success? My ex does not communicate.

You can obtain an order that communications be done exclusively through OFW.

L.L. v. M.C., 2012 ONSC 3311 (CanLII)
Date: 2012-07-19
Docket: FS-08-00340601-0000
URL: CanLII - 2012 ONSC 3311 (CanLII)
Citation: L.L. v. M.C., 2012 ONSC 3311 (CanLII)

Originally Posted by Justice Czutrin

Each party shall be responsible for making day-to-day decisions for routine emergency medical care while J is in his/her care, and shall keep the other party fully informed, by Our Family Wizard, of any minor illnesses, emergencies, treatments, medications administered or prescribed while J is in his/her care.

This case law is the most extensive and well written one that incorporates OFW that I am aware of. I would read it.

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

Relying on email to communicate was a very easy choice for me. I started doing this years ago.

To quote Justice Czutrin again and he agrees with you...

We have created methods of communication that include the traditional hard notebook, pen or pencil, and written communication log that travels with the child’s backpack or overnight luggage. There is also the more technologically current texting, emailing, tweeting, or internet based programmes such as Our Family Wizard.

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

My ex stopped phoning me after I got a telephone conversation recorder. I purchased this to document and protect myself after my ex, his gf at the time, and her family would verbally threaten me. Text messages are rare and when they occur, are appropriate (sent on the road during travel for access).

Careful, recording creates an environment of miss trust between the parents. Also, today in 2013 (soon to be 2014) there is little communications that needs to be done viva voche between parents. 99% of situations can be managed over OFW. The communications in-person (on telephone too) should be limited to emergency room situations only.

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

I've asked ex about subscribing to a communication software system via email and through lawyers when negotiating our divorce. Only once did ex respond by saying it was not possible because he does not have internet access at home.

Lame excuses for not using email / OFW. If you are before a justice and someone uses that lame excuse most (if not all justices) will eat them alive. You wan't to put yourself on the wrong side of a justice try to argue you don't have internet access at home. If you have a mobile phone it is probably likely that you have internet access on that device... which you take home.

I recently saw a justice in Brampton do just that. The parent stated they didn't have internet access. The judge asked if they could hold up their cell phone. Parent did... Judge asked what kind of phone it was... Parent told the model (iPhone 4G) and the justice asked if the parent had a data plan. They said yes. The judge then spent 2 minutes warning the person that lies will not be tolerated in the court room.

The judge then made an order that they are to communicate via email and that if the parent who claimed they didn't have internet at home didn't respond to a message in 24 hours that the other parent could make the decision in absence of the other parent's response.

Great way to get someone to have to respond and read their emails. Sad that people still try the I don't have internet at home. The judge stated that it is almost as good as trying to argue you don't have electricity at home...

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

No one seemed to agree with my thoughts that free internet is readily available in the community and my communication was already email based.

A judge will agree with you more than likely. See the case law above.

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

I never bothered to mention that ex is a frequent Facebook user (he uses it to communicate with our oldest kid).

Then, you know it is all an excuse. In fact, if you needed to bring it on motion, just bring that evidence forward that the other parent has internet access.

Originally Posted by smileandwalkaway

It would be nice to have a reliable communication tool to use when there is some child-related information to share or disclosure to give.

Well, you can simply provide it by email or sign up for an OFW account yourself and pay for his access too. Have them provide him the account information and then just post everything there. Send a with prejudice letter via registered mail to the other parent stating this is what you are doing.

Or, you can send letters via registered mail and state you are not responsible for items sent (read "lost") in the general post and kindly ask that all replies be done via registered mail.

Also, when you send a letter you should always:

1. Frame the problem.
2. Offer a solution.
3. Solicit the other parents feedback.
4. State a clear deadline (by Month, Day, Year at a specific time) that they have to respond by and if they don't you will assume they are in agreement and proceed with the recommended solution.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[stripes]

I use ReadNotify.com, and no, the recipient does not know that you are using it. It's completely legal. ReadNotify can tell you when an email was delivered, when/if it was opened and when/if it was deleted. It works with gmail. It's about $5/month for the basic service, and it's a bit wonky sometimes in that you have to go to the ReadNotify site to check the status of your emails, they don't always deliver a receipt. But it's a good way to prove that a) you sent a message; and b) your ex (or someone using his/her email account) opened the message.

Originally Posted by dad2bandm

ReadNotify.com is such a service.

[dad2bandm]

Originally Posted by stripes

I use ReadNotify.com, and no, the recipient does not know that you are using it. It's completely legal. ReadNotify can tell you...

I would clarify this point, as *most* recipients won't be readily aware that you are using the service, simply because they are not more technical users of email.

The "use" of ReadNotify.com can still present itself to the recipient, depending on which email service/client they use to view emails, and if they bother to read the email headers and such. It's explained in the info on the site.

[dad2bandm]

And in my opinion, OFW is the better all around solution, as it offers more than the "messaging/email".

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by dad2bandm

And in my opinion, OFW is the better all around solution, as it offers more than the "messaging/email".

I agree.

Email opens up a world of web-bugs which is how ReadNotify works and most of the "Internet Marketing" world works. It is similar to the email tracking system that the "stalker marketers" (SEO/SEM and SMM) use to track their customers.

This will render ReadNotify.com useless.

OFW will provide all this without having to use web-bugs and a tracker service such as ReadNotify... It will also do it for both parents so the information is open to both sides and not hidden from one of the parties.

Good Luck!
Tayken

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by dad2bandm

The "use" of ReadNotify.com can still present itself to the recipient, depending on which email service/client they use to view emails, and if they bother to read the email headers and such. It's explained in the info on the site.

Ghostery and other browser add ons that strip SEM, SEO and SMM "stalker marketing" techniques... I haven't tested it on ReadNotify but, more than likely their web-bugs are registered with Ghostery too.

It actually isn't that hard today for an "average" user to render ReadNotify useless.

Good Luck!
Tayken