Has anyone else noticed that after divorce your friends kind of disappear, especially the ones who are still married?
I made sure when I was around friends that I would not talk everyone's ear off about my problems as I know that tends to drive people away. If friends asked I would tell them the cole's notes version of what is going on and keep it at that. My friends and their wives have never like my ex and were supportive when we split. Fast forward almost three years and especially this last year I have been left out of almost all of their plans. I have been in a relationship for a year and a half, a woman I met well after my ex and I split. My friends have met her and everyone said they love her but we still don't get invited to any of the "couples" things.
In most cases the wives are the ones making the plans these days and the guys are seemingly oblivious as to what the plans are and who is being invited. I have heard from other people in my position that even though my new fiance was not the cause of the divorce, some women will still see them in a negative light, similar to a mistress. Other married couples just don't want divorced people around. I like to think that people are not that petty but recently I heard that one of my friends wives remarked that when we are married we will be included.
I don't get offended or upset very easily but the exclusion is so apparent that it's hard to ignore. My guy friends will invite me out for beers on the rare occassion that they go out but as we get older most of the events are couples things and its always the wives planning. A few times the guys have asked, "How come you weren't at the party last week?" and I've mentioned that I was never invited. Not all women are like this, don't get me wrong, but my friends wives are the jealous type and it wouldn't surprise me for one minute that we are excluded because my fiance is a very attractive women with a great personality and the guys love her to death.
Anyways, more of a rant than anything else. I'm just pissy because everyone is getting together on Saturday for a hockey party to drink and eat and watch the return of the NHL and again, it seems its married couples only and we weren't invited.
We recently bought a home and invited everyone over for our house warming party. When New Year's eve came, my friend threw a party for everyone and we weren't invited. I'm not a petty person but enough is enough and I feel like I shouldn't even be inviting these people to our wedding later this year. In fact we've almost come to the decision to have family only.
Anyhow, just a rant but I am sure others on here have experienced the same thing. It really shows you who is worth having around in your life.
I made sure when I was around friends that I would not talk everyone's ear off about my problems as I know that tends to drive people away. If friends asked I would tell them the cole's notes version of what is going on and keep it at that. My friends and their wives have never like my ex and were supportive when we split. Fast forward almost three years and especially this last year I have been left out of almost all of their plans. I have been in a relationship for a year and a half, a woman I met well after my ex and I split. My friends have met her and everyone said they love her but we still don't get invited to any of the "couples" things.
In most cases the wives are the ones making the plans these days and the guys are seemingly oblivious as to what the plans are and who is being invited. I have heard from other people in my position that even though my new fiance was not the cause of the divorce, some women will still see them in a negative light, similar to a mistress. Other married couples just don't want divorced people around. I like to think that people are not that petty but recently I heard that one of my friends wives remarked that when we are married we will be included.
I don't get offended or upset very easily but the exclusion is so apparent that it's hard to ignore. My guy friends will invite me out for beers on the rare occassion that they go out but as we get older most of the events are couples things and its always the wives planning. A few times the guys have asked, "How come you weren't at the party last week?" and I've mentioned that I was never invited. Not all women are like this, don't get me wrong, but my friends wives are the jealous type and it wouldn't surprise me for one minute that we are excluded because my fiance is a very attractive women with a great personality and the guys love her to death.
Anyways, more of a rant than anything else. I'm just pissy because everyone is getting together on Saturday for a hockey party to drink and eat and watch the return of the NHL and again, it seems its married couples only and we weren't invited.
We recently bought a home and invited everyone over for our house warming party. When New Year's eve came, my friend threw a party for everyone and we weren't invited. I'm not a petty person but enough is enough and I feel like I shouldn't even be inviting these people to our wedding later this year. In fact we've almost come to the decision to have family only.
Anyhow, just a rant but I am sure others on here have experienced the same thing. It really shows you who is worth having around in your life.
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