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  • Lost My Job today

    Today I went to the doctor and I received a letter from him taking me off of work for two weeks...due to stress. As you know this has been an ongoing problem for me since I started the job in the arctic 7 months ago. The job is horrible ( no staff support..no one wants to come here to work) and I've been working 70 hours per week just to keep my head above water. Couple this with the stress of the divorce and not getting to talk to my son, and I'm pretty much a nervous breakdown waiting to happen. I've never had emotional or coping difficulites before in my life.

    I went back to work after my appointment and was called into my supervisors office for a meeting. I was told that I had the right to union representation. Okay, red flag. I contacted my union rep and he attended the meeting with me and at that time I was informed that " due to no fault of your own" you are being dismissed from your job. ( I don't even know what this means other than that I am "dismissed")

    The union rep and I left and very little was said....I was simply shocked and I've never even received any disciplinary action previous to this. To make a long story short, the union rep that was with me came with me to my office and immediately called the Union president. According to him, proper protocol has glaringly NOT been followed and he feels that this will require more than just a grievance...and they are going to spend the weekend preparing for monday and for using a union lawyer to file against the GN for wrongful dismissal.

    In any event, I am a beaten man today. It has been the most demoralizing and confusing day of my life...and it's time to go home. I wouldn't have been able to stand much more of this anyways. Working for the gov of Nunavut is like being in a concentration camp....but I was here for the big bucks.

    I will be leaving in about two weeks to return home. And now I wonder how this will affect my divorce. Obviously I will no longer have an income of close to 6 figures. I will only have the meagre respite of employment insurance. The little bit of savings I do have will be used to get myself and my belongings home.

    Should I call my lawyer asap and tell him to delay everything until I return home? There is no point in continueing with negotiation regarding many issues as the entire circumstances will soon change. Will the judge impute my salary from this job ? The whole divorce will no longer be about ex trying to get money from me....I suppose...I hope to just concentrate on the access and custody issue. I have no idea what will happen now. I am truly terrified....I don't know what to expect.

    Thre are a couple of bright lights to be seen here, though. I can fight to SEE my son now instead of just telephone access. And, I no longer have to live and work in this godforsaken place! Honestly, in some ways I feel it's a blessing in disguise.

    Thanks for listening all.
    GDGM

  • #2
    I'm sorry to hear that you lost your job. It sounded crappy and it sounds like a total blessing. The decision has been made for you. You are going home and will get to see your son.

    Plus hopefully you can get some compensation for the way they handled it ( no paper trail etc)I had a friend get 6 months salary for wrongful dismissal from a crown corp. All for not having the paper trail. She had medical issues as well. The letting you go around the time you are going off on sick leave might really work in your benefit.

    I would call your lawyer asap and tell him about the change in circumstance's you are paying 800 in child support and only bringing home 400 every two weeks on ei - you need to get that changed asap. Does he take legal aid? maybe this year is shot because you made too much income so far but at least if it carries on you could obtain a legal aid certificate and go that route.

    I doubt the judge would impute this income to you unless you had a history of it in the past or it was likely you could earn it. The fact that you were let go and never made anything close to it in NFLD. In terms of imputing income to you- the most I would imagine would be what your history would be like.

    Anyway others on here will have more advice. Good luck- think of it this way- you could go for joint custody now

    Comment


    • #3
      Gooddadgoingmad, My heart goes out to you, Even though I have it pretty bad myself I can't help but feel your pain.
      I also work for the Federal Government, however, I'm on the other side (Management). From what I know if you work as you say, for an Unionized environment it is difficult for them to let you go without at least going through a few interviews. Now if they blame your inability to function as their excuse to let you go, it doesn’t give them much strength.
      I would most definitely contact the Labour Board and file a complaint against your employer. Have you been seeing any type of EAP services?
      Furthermore, as Jenny says contact your Lawyer Immediately and inform him of your dismissal.
      My understanding is that if you quit your job the judge can impute an income on you, however, if you’re let go than they most likely won't.
      I also have a letter from my Doctor saying that I'm going through severe depression. When I gave it to my Lawyer she said are you sure you want to use this, since it may jeopardize your chances of getting custody of your children. Unfortunately it shows in- stability.
      Have your Lawyer advise you as to the best route to take.
      I hope everything turns out for you. For every blow we take, we must become stronger. This is the only way we will make it through this very difficult time in our lives.
      Remember there are people out their that have it much worse than us. Just yesterday one of my employees was found dead in his apartment. He was only 59 years old and was to retire in two weeks.

      Comment


      • #4
        Advice re: dismissal

        My two cents, I was dismissed myself back in Sept..no union though, and they stiill had to follow protocol...that was not protocol what happened to you...get online and check out the dismissal guidelines...
        They need reasons, strong reasons...
        Your union should be able to get you a package or reinstatement...contact your employer and go th EAP route..it shows that you are using you resources...and FIGHT IT!!!! I have fought my own and there is very strict guidelines for this type of procedure, very strict!!!!
        Get on your Union rep big time....do not give up...they need reasons and cannot just do this..it happens all the time...so fight it..thats why you have a union..if I had an Union I would not have been dismissed so easily...
        Do not Give UP!!
        Cheers, and good luck to you....

        Comment


        • #5
          GDGM, my heart goes out to you. And loosing your job is yet another stress in your life. But I think this could be a blessing in disguise. You will be back home, and not have to deal with the frustrations you have been having with the phone calls. Any chance you could retrain yourself or seek employment in another field back east?

          Comment


          • #6
            GDGM
            Sorry to hear the news,small consolation I know, it doesn't seem to amount to much support in the context of what you and many of us have been forced to endure. Just how much pain is a person supposed to take? I would like to say stay strong, but like many of us have learned...What does staying strong mean anyway when you are already down on the ground getting the snot kicked out of you.
            Still , getting back home can be hardly worse than being banished in the darkness away from your son. I pray something good has got to come out of this in your favour.

            Comment


            • #7
              GDGM, I found this article for you:

              Coping With Job Loss

              Losing a job can be one of the most devastating personal crises of a lifetime. Unemployment, divorce, and the death of a loved one are considered to be the most stressful and potentially debilitating events that an individual ever experiences. Although financial decline is a serious issue, the blow to one's ego is even more difficult to face. The losses include:

              Loss of self-esteem
              Loss of daily routine
              Loss of purposeful activity
              Loss of income
              Loss of predictability and sense of security.
              Like any other calamitous event, however, the job loss crisis can present an opportunity for growth. Commitment and diligence are required to transform present pain into future positive outcomes. There are several emotional stages you must work through to reach the more positive frame of mind you need to re-enter the workplace. These stages of coping are necessary to achieve resolution of job loss.

              Acknowledgement

              The first reactions to loss are pain, fear and lowered self-esteem. Next, denial of these feelings serves to cushion the discomfort temporarily. Acknowledging these feelings can be a helpful first step toward making efforts to cope successfully. In recognizing the need to boost self-confidence, a plan of action will mobilize your resources. You can ask friends and family for help and support. You cannot easily approach a job interview while feeling depressed, angry, bitter, discouraged or fearful. Dealing openly and honestly with appropriate persons can free up positive emotional energy for job seeking tasks. It might be helpful to talk about the circumstances and events leading up to the loss of your job with a friend, a loved one, a professional counselor or a support group. Sometimes, keeping a journal can help to put such an experience into perspective.

              Ask Yourself The Following:

              What actually happened to cause me to lose my job?
              How did I receive news of the lay-off.?
              How did I react to the news?
              How long was I in that particular job?
              What was my relationship with my boss, my subordinates, my colleagues?
              Seeking Support and Help

              It is not unusual for a person to be depressed after losing a job. The depression is temporary if you get busy and take control of your future. Don't hesitate to share what has happened to you with people you know and ask for good job leads.

              Venting Anger and Resentment

              Letting go of bitterness and anger is essential for resolving any personal crisis. Healthy ways of dealing with frustration include vigorous physical exercise, volunteering time for community activities, tackling postponed home tasks, etc. Running, swimming, raking, painting, and sweeping are good outlets and give you a sense of accomplishment.

              Reassessment

              The initial shock of a job loss may bring about "tunnel vision." All you can see are the negative aspects of your situation. Even though it was a very important source of self-esteem and income, your former job could not have offered all the things in life which are important to you. Try to make a conscious effort to think about other rewarding aspects of life which are truly of value. This is the time to reassess your strengths, weaknesses and interests if you are to gain the confidence and optimism necessary for starting over again. This may turn out to be an important turning point for positive changes.

              Impact on the Family

              For a child, the loss of a job by a parent represents a significant change in their world. Children as well as adults need to go through a grief process. Children are perceptive. It is usually futile to try to keep such information from them. Without knowing the source of adult unhappiness, a child might feel responsible for the sadness or anger. It is important for all members of the family to talk together and help each other while a parent is between jobs. Children can be understanding and supportive when they know they are not to blame.

              Strategies to Maintain Financial Stability

              Investigate severance pay and other benefits to which you may be entitled; such as outplacement services, an office and phone to use while looking for a job, and the continuation of health insurance benefits. Request agreements about pay-out schedules in writing. Other pointers are:

              Notify creditors of your current situation. A flexible payment schedule might be arranged.

              Apply for unemployment benefits which are available to you if you lost a job through no fault of your own. Check with your local jurisdiction for other requirements.

              Follow a daily schedule - work on resumes, make calls, do research, set up interviews for at least six hours a day.

              Be good to yourself - eat well, exercise, have fun, get adequate rest.

              Focus on possibilities and accomplishments, not on failures.


              Written by Helene W. King, Ph.D., CEAP

              Comment


              • #8
                I really feel first hand what you are going through..1 month ago I lost my job as well..been with the same company for 18 years (dental assistant) my boss of most of that time retired at the end of 2005 and sold his practice..the new guy kept all of us on but apparently the 2 had this contract they made up for a 3 month probation period of all the staff...just prior to my 3 months he let me go stating that he wanted someone with a "level 2" assisting..he knew when we had our interview that I didn't have it and he said he was fine with that..he also brought a priest in "in case I got out of control" well one month later I have contacted a lawyer--the creep gave me 8 weeks termination pay--(not a unionized company) so right there he is telling me he believes that I deserve more than someone with under 3 months---I have done my homework and he is soooo wrong..my lawyer is going after at least 18 months worth of pay plus other damages brought on by this so called dentist...enough of my ramblings though I went to the library the other day to get some more info to read and I was really surprised at the rights we have as employees..this one book I got gives some reasons for Just causes for dismissal
                Ill health: An employee who is absent from work for prolonged periods because of illness or disabilities can be dismissed for cause (i.e., without notice or pay in lieu)-----you only were going to be off for 2 weeks so this does not affect you...it does go on to say that the employee can hardly be blamed for his or her incapacity the courts generally impose strict rules on employers who want to dismiss an employee in these circumstances. the general rule is that chronic illness will be grounds for dismissal only if you can show the employee's illness is permanent and there is no possiblitity that he or she will be able to return to work..I hope this info helps

                Comment


                • #9
                  GDGM,

                  I'm sorry about your loss. There are a few things in life that casue major stress ... divorce, job loss, death are bout a few to mention.

                  Sort of like Job who lost it all ... but kept his faith and in the end, was justly rewarded. Be strong in what can and will be a life altering experience ...

                  I'll be praying for you ...

                  Hubby

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you very much everyone, for your kind words, support and advice.

                    I am living a logistical nightmare right now. The union is going nuts with letters and all sorts of paperwork. They are adament that this is a case of wrongful dismissal, so are prepared to back me in every way possible.

                    I am beginning to get excited about going home now. My lawyer was excellent and said that I should worry about taking care of myself right now and that when I get on the ground in NL, we will talk about things.

                    In the middle of all the chaos this morning....union stuff and preparing to move....I stopped and I called the unified family court in newfoundland, and I registered for a parenting course...in two weeks time. That felt so good and now my focus is on getting home and getting myself set up to be with me son.

                    The light is getting brighter,
                    GDGM

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      GDGM,

                      sorry to hear about your loss. Sometimes an event like this is a blessing in disguise. If I were you I would relocate to the area where your child is located. You do have a material change on your hands and I would definitely let your lawyer know. Perhaps, with the unplanned material change, you can develop a strategy to foster a long loving frequent relationship between yourself and your child, and also have the payable child support lowered to reflect your current circumstances.

                      You may have been earning big dollars working in an isolated area, but you had a loss in one aspect; the costs for having a frequent relationship with your child was and is enormous. If your in an area closer to your child, you no longer have this expense and I suspect you will be able to see your child more often. Additionally, you will be in a better position geographically to litigate as less travel would be involved.

                      Definitely seek employment in this area and also have proof such as copies of letters to potential employers to show that you are actively pursuing employment.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hey GDGM, just think you may now qualify for legal aid

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I am still in the Arctic. Apparently the "recommendation" for rejection on probation, had to be signed off by the minister. So, basically when my boss told me that I was rejected on probation, he didn't even know himself if it would be approved. It is a week later and I still know nothing. My doctor has me off on "stress leave" or as the doctors note says, "sick leave".

                          I may not get the official letter from the minister until Tuesday or later. There is also the possibility that she will not approve it. In the meantime, I am having severe anxiety attacks, cannot sleep, and I feel terribly depressed. It has been suggested to me that I take " stress leave" as technically I am still an employed by governent. As I am here alone, I am feeling such a lack of support. It's a horrible feeling. I just want to go home and be with my son at this point.

                          Now my friend, also a union member, is telling me to go back to the doctor and take leave based on disability due to anxiety and depression. It certainly wouldn't be untrue. I just have to figure out the process for doing this. Does anyone know the process I would have to take inorder to get this in place?

                          This being the long weekend, I cannot get any answers from various departments. I was wondering if anyone here might know how a gov employee starts that process. Any info would be greatly appreciated.

                          It has been 12 days since I spoke to my son. I call dailly, only to get the answering machine. I constantly wonder if my boy is wondering where his dad is. I sent a calling card ( pre-paid) over 6 weeks ago so that ex could have my boy call me whenever he wanted. She has not used it once.

                          I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Any advice would be so wonderful right now. Thanks.
                          GDGM

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I can't help you with your question, as I am self employed and have no clue about government jobs or unions. But I do want to throw in a word of caution. Keep your family lawyer updated on your medical situation. Words like: stress leave, sick leave, severe anxiety attacks, depression, lack of sleep etc. can be used against you in a custody/access battle. I can just read her "ugly affidavit" in my head right now. Her attorney will have a field day making you out to be the most unfit parent. Once you get home to finally see your son, you may find yourself with "supervised access" and this is no way to parent your child.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Gooddadgoingmad
                              sometimes, to figure things out, it's helpful to write a pro and con list.What are the pros and cons of staying where you are, working for peanuts, after all things are paid.Apparently you took this remote job to get ahead; that doesn't seem to be happening in ANY respect. Is it worth it? In my opinion, it would be better for you to return home(can't get much worse) where you have family support, familiarity, you're son, and one on one contact with your lawyer. Even if you got a mediocre job it would balance out with the $3000 plane tickets, extreme prices for basic survival etc.YOu make a good living up north yet you pay 5-10 times more than other places. It just doesn't make sense. On top of that you have no support, you're depressed and lonely and without your son.Your ex is negatively utilizing the distance between you and your child, to her advantage-your son's disadvantage.Once a court order is made, basing support on your current income, you're tied to that job until you find other means. It is lengthy and expensive to revise a court order-keep this in mind. You will then be tied to that amount and will be trapped in that remote area, isolated and alone with no means of escape unless you find a 6 figure job to accommodate the support payments. So..What are the pros of maintaing your current arrangement? I see alot of cons, no pros! How do you see it?
                              I feel for you, I've felt lonely and isolated in the past, b/c of the stress of court procedures etc. but the difference is I am not in a remote area up north and I went to people and places for support. It's not a nice feeling. Sit down and figure out what to do.
                              I personally think the Lord is trying to tell you something. Take care of yourself and keep posting....there are people here who care.

                              Comment

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