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  • Benefits

    I just found out at work that I now qualify for benefits. I added my child to my work benefits but I don't know if I should tell the ex yet. We are negotiating spousal support and as much as I would love to offer up these benefits right now, I don't want to be stupid and lose the opportunity to use it to negotiate with regards to spousal support. What should I do here?

    Also, how do people handle medications and prescriptions for the children? I still have to pay 20%, and she would be the one to get the prescription and have it filled. How does this work if she's on social assistance? Should I tell her to give me the prescription to have it filled and that way I can pay for it upfront and then submit the claim to the insurance company for reimbursement of the 20%?

    Thanks
    GDGM

  • #2
    Originally posted by gooddadgoingmad
    I just found out at work that I now qualify for benefits. I added my child to my work benefits but I don't know if I should tell the ex yet. We are negotiating spousal support and as much as I would love to offer up these benefits right now, I don't want to be stupid and lose the opportunity to use it to negotiate with regards to spousal support. What should I do here?

    Also, how do people handle medications and prescriptions for the children? I still have to pay 20%, and she would be the one to get the prescription and have it filled. How does this work if she's on social assistance? Should I tell her to give me the prescription to have it filled and that way I can pay for it upfront and then submit the claim to the insurance company for reimbursement of the 20%?

    Thanks
    GDGM
    This is kind of what we have going on. My husband’s daughter is on his work benefits.
    When the daughter needs dental work, we get the dentist’s contact info from the ex and the date of the appointment.
    We call the office with the coverage info, ask for a fax of services rendered so we can have it signed. We fax it back and it is processed. Payment is remitted to the dentist and any outstanding balance is sent to us for payment, and we get the total deduction for tax purposes for any portion we paid above the insurance.

    Similarly for prescriptions. If the ex has an appointment scheduled with a doctor or is planning on going to a walk in clinic. Ask which Pharmacy she will be using, get the contact info and telephone the pharmacy with your info. Offer to fax a copy of your certificate or card of coverage. Ask that they send you a copy of the prescription issued for your records should your benefits not cover it so you can offer payment via credit card and so you can have a receipt for tax purposes. Ask for generic drugs that would be substitutable for anything that is not covered. They are very good about this kind of thing if you explain the child is covered through your work etc. Remember even the smallest patient deductable should be kept and if it is not enough to be beneficial one tax season, it can be carried forward.

    Also make sure the pharmacy understands that you need notification for future prescriptions, as once your info is in the system the ex may use it without your knowledge if you let her. (of course just for the daughter).

    Comment


    • #3
      The problem is that the insurance requires that I pay upfront and then submit the claim. It would be so much easier if it was the other way, but alas nothing about any of this is easy.

      When I was living away last year I had benefits and I contacted ex to tell her that I was adding our son to them. She did not once utilize those benefits and continued to use the social assistance benefits for our son. I paid every month for the extra dependant on my insurance, yet she still chose to use her drug card for his medical needs. Seems to me that this tidbit of information might bode well in showing the court one little part of how she has been denying my role as a father to our child.

      I want to provide these benefits for our son but I am not sure if I should tell her now, as we will be heavily negotiating various financial aspects in the near future. Should I hold back on telling her right now and use it as leverage...as a way to offer something to the table in lieu of giving her spousal support. What would you do here? I hate playing games like this but I have to think ahead and protect myself.

      Thanks
      GDGM

      Comment


      • #4
        I think she is using the easier method, no forms necessary, no physical involvement with you etc.

        If she were to use your coverage she would have to ask you first, or at minimum advise you. Then have you file the forms, remit payment, etc. Where as it stands she simply goes to the appointment and then voila she can get any meds the son may need without so much as letting you know she took the son anywhere.

        I do not think that there would be any leverage, however, what you feel you could prove true of her behaviour, could easily been seen as true of you as well.

        That is, you claimed her use of the social assistance services proves she is further denying your parental role. So too could your keeping the info from her. Keeping the info from her could be seen as a parent keeping valuable information from a deserving child, and therefore “forcing” the mother to use social assistance. As you said she has chosen to use the system over your coverage before, but you don’t want to give her any unnecessary ammunition against you. I’d let her know the son is covered. Tell her it is a better benefit than social assistance, however you need to pay up front and file forms for reimbursement. Let her make the choice to not use it, that is a better weapon than not giving her an option, as is shows she is not willing to let you parent, and not willing to do whatever is necessary to better the son’s life by way of not utilizing social systems.

        Comment


        • #5
          If the child is covered under an employer sponsored benefites plan and the CP is aware of this yet continues to use the provincial health care plan for recepients of social assistance, does this not constitue fraud? There is no way the province would continue to pay for this child's medical expenses if they knew that there was another benefits plan in place.

          Comment


          • #6
            dg_sch

            Originally posted by dg_sch
            If the child is covered under an employer sponsored benefites plan and the CP is aware of this yet continues to use the provincial health care plan for recepients of social assistance, does this not constitue fraud? There is no way the province would continue to pay for this child's medical expenses if they knew that there was another benefits plan in place.
            It is not exactly honest but I do not think it can be labelled fraud.
            I’m sure the key point here is that “if they know” they may request the children go through your coverage first. Then again they may not.

            Once the CP is in receipt of social assistance, then the children are automatically entitled to medical and dental benefits, that is just the way it works. Sure they’d rather it be covered by another party if it can be, but I don’t think they’d remove the child from the benefits.
            I really feel the onus is on the CP to utilize the coverage you have as that would be the most ethical thing to do. I don’t think she can be forced to do so????

            Comment


            • #7
              Once a CP and a child(ren) are on social assistance, they are automatically enrolled in the drug program through welfare. She should use that for the child even though you have benefits. What is more ethical, using those benefits which are paid for anyways once one is on welfare, or using your benefits to screw your ex out of spousal support if she needs it and is entitled to it? Any money that she gets out of spousal support is only going to give your child(ren) a better standard of living anyways...think about your kid(s).

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by dickstacie
                Any money that she gets out of spousal support is only going to give your child(ren) a better standard of living anyways...think about your kid(s).
                Any money a social recipient receives either for SS or CS will be deducted dollar for dollar from her monthly assistance. So it's irrelevant. If she doesn't know this she's in for a shock.

                When I first left my husband the courts ordered CS & SS and dollar for dollar was removed from my assistance even though my ex was not physically paying. I had to fight the system for almost a year to prove to Social Assistance that he was not paying. IN the interim I was getting barely $200 a month to live on from them.

                Comment


                • #9
                  If he has to pay child support and spousal, she probably wouldn't be on assistance which would be good for her, since I doubt that she was on it during the marriage.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Well that would depend on just how much CS and SS he is to pay..assuming he makes a really good wages then yes she probably could live without assistance...but it is likely that he does not have enough income to support both a CS and SS claim...

                    Or she could just do what my husbands ex does..just not claim any support he pays her whatsoever and keep collecting from the taxpayer via the government...that way she gets paid double.

                    As for the benefits, I say tell her, I think if you are looking for leverage, it would be better to show you are doing all that you can as soon as you are able to, and if she doesn't take advantage of it then it simply shows a lack of co-operation on her part....after all the benefits are for your child..not her. But it is likley it is easier to just use the benefits given by the government..then she doesn't have to deal with you at all. Send a registered letter advising of the benefits..that way she can't claim she didn't know...

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I agree with jlalex

                      Originally posted by jlalex
                      But it is likley it is easier to just use the benefits given by the government..then she doesn't have to deal with you at all. Send a registered letter advising of the benefits..that way she can't claim she didn't know...
                      I agree, send the letter, and if she chooses not to use it, she has no recourse, and you don't get bit on the butt in FL court.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        This is an interesting collaborative discussion. CS and SS is only considered income if it is court ordered. It all has to be reported by the receiving party, but ultimately the respective party case worker can interpret such amounts of income received to be a gift or income absent a court order.

                        For Ontario and a good read see the directives of Ontario works and O.D.S.P.

                        http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/mcss/engli...directives.htm


                        http://www.mcss.gov.on.ca/mcss/engli...omesupport.htm


                        lv

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by dickstacie
                          If he has to pay child support and spousal, she probably wouldn't be on assistance which would be good for her, since I doubt that she was on it during the marriage.

                          No you're right...she was not on social assistance while we were married. Instead she refused to better herself and I was forced to work to the point of exhaustion while she did nothing. So while you seem to believe that she is entitled to spousal support, and likely the law does too, I for one am tired of paying for someone who is quite capable to earning her own living. And, I adamently disagree that it would be good for her NOT to be on welfare. She needs to learn that everyone is responsible for taking care of themselves and if she is undergoeing hardships because she is on welfare, then it's because SHE does not work....not because I am not giving her spousal support.

                          We had nothing when we were married. I could never earn enough to support our family and one income in our home created a great deal of financial hardship.

                          I will tell her about the new benefits I have for my son. She probably won't utilize them anyways....but at least I have done my part...which is more than I can say for her.

                          GDGM

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by FL_Needs_To_Change
                            I agree, send the letter, and if she chooses not to use it, she has no recourse, and you don't get bit on the butt in FL court.
                            So you think I should send her a registered letter telling her this? I really don't expect that she'll utilize my benefits because then I will be aware of what illness's my son has and she does not want me to know anything about him...which is why I believe she did not make any use of the benefits I had with my old job last year. I also believe that it won't look too good if she continues to refuse my offered benefits. At least if I send a registered letter I will have proof that I offered them, and it will show the court that she is not cooperating with my desire to be a part of our sons life.

                            Ha...guess I answered my own questions! Thanks.
                            GDGM

                            Comment

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