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Try this again: I am sick of all of this foolishness

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  • Try this again: I am sick of all of this foolishness

    Hi I think I posted this in the wrong thread. So I will try this again I need some advice and I don't know where to turn. Unlike most people on this forum I am not going through a divorce. Have never been married. My parents are actually divorced. I don't live with my mother or my father. Have not lived with either one for years. During the divorce, I also tried to stay neutral. This is slowly but surely changing. I have a brother who took my mother's side and is estranged from my father. He is nineteen and still in school. Or atleast my father thinks he is. He registered last Sept but apparently never went. He would go in the morning. then after attendance was taken he would go to his job. My father is paying support for my brother who lives with my mother and her new husband. I do not know if my father knows what is going on. I think he suspects this is happening but has no way of proving what is going on. If my bother is working full time why is my father paying support. My brother is working for my mother's new husband, so there is probably no employment records. This infuriates me. I doubt if my father has access to my brother's school records either. Whatever happened between my mother and my father has nothing to do with myself or my brother. My mother is doing this to get even with my father. As far as I am concerned she has alienated my brother from my father. They used to be so close and now they are not even speaking. I would like to report her, and get this stopped. But who to? Does anyone know? I don't want to get my mother in trouble, but I also don't want her to be using my father like this. I know it does not sound like it but I love both my parents but I am so tired of all the things my mother has been doing.

  • #2
    Payors who are estranged from their kids go back to court all the time saying "I think that the child is not in school" and have ways of making the recipients provide proof that the child is in school (or stopping support if they don't). Registration in school is one thing - I assume the transcripts will show he failed all the courses.

    Your dad probably knows that - or if he is suspicious about your brother, he can talk to a lawyer and find out himself. People have reasons for not taking steps, and your dad may have decided to let things alone for awhile. I'd leave it alone.

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    • #3
      Just tell your father what you think is happening. Let your father choose how to handle it.

      Originally posted by Notalawyer View Post
      Whatever happened between my mother and my father has nothing to do with myself or my brother. My mother is doing this to get even with my father.
      Now you are stuck in the middle.

      Your mother may have good reason to get even with your father. You do not know what your father did.
      On the other hand, your mother may just be an evil bitch. You never know.

      All I can tell you is that my mother was a total bitch when we were kids and my father was a calm cool man. We grew up hating our mother. However, I had to get married myself before I appreciated my parents. Now, I know that my father was cruel and unloving towards my mother. I am ashamed at having hated my mother and I am sorry for the abuse she tolerated from my father.

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      • #4
        Seems pretty simple to me... he's the father, he should phone the school and ask to speak to the Principal. Unless there is some kind of access barrier registered with his school a father is fully entitled to speak to someone there and find out the truth about his son's attendance. The school will solve the mystery immediately.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Notalawyer View Post
          Hi I think I posted this in the wrong thread. So I will try this again I need some advice and I don't know where to turn. Unlike most people on this forum I am not going through a divorce. Have never been married. My parents are actually divorced. I don't live with my mother or my father. Have not lived with either one for years. During the divorce, I also tried to stay neutral. This is slowly but surely changing. I have a brother who took my mother's side and is estranged from my father. He is nineteen and still in school. Or atleast my father thinks he is. He registered last Sept but apparently never went. He would go in the morning. then after attendance was taken he would go to his job. My father is paying support for my brother who lives with my mother and her new husband. I do not know if my father knows what is going on. I think he suspects this is happening but has no way of proving what is going on. If my bother is working full time why is my father paying support. My brother is working for my mother's new husband, so there is probably no employment records. This infuriates me. I doubt if my father has access to my brother's school records either. Whatever happened between my mother and my father has nothing to do with myself or my brother. My mother is doing this to get even with my father. As far as I am concerned she has alienated my brother from my father. They used to be so close and now they are not even speaking. I would like to report her, and get this stopped. But who to? Does anyone know? I don't want to get my mother in trouble, but I also don't want her to be using my father like this. I know it does not sound like it but I love both my parents but I am so tired of all the things my mother has been doing.
          How old are you? If you're of age, you could swear out an affadavit with the facts as you know them, and give it to your father. Then he can do as he wishes with it.

          Comment

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