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Financial Issues This forum is for discussing any of the financial issues involved in your divorce.

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  #11  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:07 AM
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blinkandimgone blinkandimgone is offline
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So how is that different than if you'd stayed together?

Your made a blanket statement about child support in general, which isn't true.

"Child support in the higher income levels does nothing other than enrich the non-working or low paid ex."
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  #12  
Old 04-20-2010, 10:18 AM
piggybanktoex piggybanktoex is offline
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Of course it's true, especially at higher levels and longer term.

The lower paid or non-working ex is given an income that they don't earn, simple as that. And that income comes from the working and/or more successful ex.

Also, the big difference now is that we are not a couple and, apart from the children, are not working towards a common goal.

Why should I have to hand over my income to someone above that which takes care of needs.

At the higher levels, all the needs of the children are met. The excess amounts, I noticed, seem to go to ex's travel with new partner, new car, new clothes, and new single lifestyle (paid by me). The extra money certainly doesn't go into safe-keeping for the kids.

There is no incentive to even try to support herself. Why would she work, when the law will just hand her my money so her lifestyle remains unchanged, regardless of who is earning it.

Again, I am speaking about high income levels, with all the kids needs and special needs met. After that it is all about her lifestyle.
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  #13  
Old 04-20-2010, 06:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by piggybanktoex View Post
Of course it's true, especially at higher levels and longer term.

The lower paid or non-working ex is given an income that they don't earn, simple as that. And that income comes from the working and/or more successful ex.

Also, the big difference now is that we are not a couple and, apart from the children, are not working towards a common goal.

Why should I have to hand over my income to someone above that which takes care of needs.

At the higher levels, all the needs of the children are met. The excess amounts, I noticed, seem to go to ex's travel with new partner, new car, new clothes, and new single lifestyle (paid by me). The extra money certainly doesn't go into safe-keeping for the kids.

There is no incentive to even try to support herself. Why would she work, when the law will just hand her my money so her lifestyle remains unchanged, regardless of who is earning it.

Again, I am speaking about high income levels, with all the kids needs and special needs met. After that it is all about her lifestyle.
So even if the "more successful" ex is more successfull BECAUSE the other gave up a career to stay home and raise the children, enabling the "more successful" ex to become more successful you think they deserve less than the "more successful" ex?
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  #14  
Old 04-20-2010, 10:58 PM
piggybanktoex piggybanktoex is offline
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And if the ex had worked and only made $25K a year and the more successful spouse made $400K, after separation should I share my income with the nanny?

And since you seem to want to put a money amount to being a housewife or mother, what is a housewife or working mother's job worth? According to "salary.com" a stay home is worth $131K and a working mother should be paid $85K.

Oh my God, most women are underpaid!

And if I had to pay my ex $200K of my $400K income, then she would be really overpaid.

Plus, the stay home might have married to a guy making $30K or $600K. What is fair really is not what is practised by Family Law.
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  #15  
Old 12-02-2012, 03:42 AM
roxyroller71 roxyroller71 is offline
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I have a question about benefits.
I have Provided benefits for my son since birth. Finally after 6 yrs my ex decides to pitch in for this.
My ex makes 152/yr and his benefits aren't that good but his bday is march. I make 38 and my Benedfits bday is sept.

My ex refuses to coordinate. He refuses to provide the letters. The payments if I pay thus keeping any money I paid. I smartened up after a couple of times.
Basically now he just covers the dentist pays on his cc and it just stays on his benefits. I don't have anything to submit which means no payment.
Will I get screwed?
And how long should I wait for this? 4 -6 weeks?
I'm not sure how to have this situation verified in an agreement.

In sure ortho work is coming and then my ex will want to use my benefits. I just need some advice for court or an agrement.
And how do I prove this situation?

When he first covered my son, it was because he was having dental surgery then went on to lie and mislead court that he hasn't been informed nor consulted. Regardless of emails proving otherwise.
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  #16  
Old 12-02-2012, 09:00 AM
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We put everything on my ex's credit card, or he pays by cheque if CC isn't an option. I have my insurance directed to reimburse him.

This way, I don't have to worry about trying torecoup any money after it's been paid to him.
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  #17  
Old 12-24-2013, 12:18 PM
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This is an issue for us as well. Mom has the earlier birth date but no insurance. So dad's is the first to be applied, then mom's bf, then dad's new wife. This is a standard set by the insurance providers and we are expected to adhere to it. So far there have been no repercussions for not following the proper order but there are financial repercussions to us personally as a result of mom's non cooperation.

Mom refuses to provide her bf's insurance info for the kids. So we have never been able to use it. It is not as simple as saying we pay for dental and they pay for something else. There are larger costs that are covered at only 50% or a flat rate per visit regardless if the per visit cost is $400. This is the case for the paramedical expenses for the children in our situation. We can and have spent $1800 a month and only received less than $600 back from the only insurance we have had access to.

I provide this information to demonstrate that the simplest approach may not be a long lasting or prudent one in future years. As we did not foresee the children needing these services and were basically willing to suck up the additional costs for what we could not recoup on a dental cleaning as it amounted to little over the course of a year. Now we are out of pocket significantly as the expenses have risen.

We also pay for all the benefit costs despite the SA stating that these are to be shared equally. In fact, mommy dearest has even advised us in writing to cancel our benefits a few years ago. But of course, continues to seek payment should she pay out of pocket for any medical expenses herself (although this is rare). In layman's terms, she wants to suck and blow.

We have maintained the benefit costs on our own. We have been asking for her to contribute for over two years. She just refuses. We have added it to our list of items to be resolved in court.

Sadly, expenses cannot be submitted to a plan after a year has gone by. So many of these expenses cannot even be claimed now. It goes to show how anger can con volute an individual's rational thought process. As they have increased the other parent's out of pocket costs and to have allowed the claim to go through would have cost them nothing in the end. At this time, they may be on the hook for these expenses and the alternative was that they could have resolved this with NO COST TO THEM!
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  #18  
Old 12-25-2013, 01:00 AM
smileandwalkaway smileandwalkaway is offline
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My agreement says ex provide benefits as long as available. I di not have benefits at the time of divorce but I do now. Ex refuses to submit claims. He refused to contribute to braces. He agreed to be directly billed by the SLP for his share but once the bills started to come in he refused to pay. Ex's birthday falls before mine but refuses to acknowledge that his benefits deny one of the kids. Only way to "fix" that was to reverse the order our benefits kick in. Funny, that only applies to one kid.

In all cases I ended up paying because the kids needed things. It sucks but that is my reality. My kids will not do without because their father refuses to accept his responsibilities.
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  #19  
Old 01-02-2014, 09:22 AM
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Trying to answer based on your original post, as it was hard to wade through the other posts in this thread...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiser2008 View Post
...My common law wife has been divorced from her ex husband since last Dec they have 2 children aged 10, and 13. They have joint custody with 50/50 access for the children back in Nov of 2008 her son decided to live with us full time and were trying to vary the court order for him now...
When did son "decide" to live with you guys "full-time"? Was that in 2008? Or is this more recent? I wasn't clear on that with the way this was written. Judging by your comments about "cheque cashing", it sounds like for the last few months, since last November? How has this been addressed with your current joint-custody agreement? It sounds like it has not. Why not? You need to take care of the legal aspect of this (your court order).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiser2008 View Post
...Her court order states that her ex is to maintain bennefits for the children throughout so long as such bennefits are available to him. He pays 50% and his employeer pays the other 50%. We just found out from the dentist that he cancelled his bennefits last fall for the children because her...
It would be in everyone's best interests, likely, to have benefits on both sides, to coordinate costs. If the other parent cancelled the benefits, I guess you could likely address this in court, if needed, if it's ordered that he keep them. Won't look well on him, cancelling kids coverage. He's still on the hook for his share of dental/health costs. So keep track of what he's not covering. Perhaps show him that it's cheaper for him to keep benefits coverage? Big expenses like braces and such, would be good to have covered through both benefits.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Wiser2008 View Post
...co-bennefit coverage up to $1500 but it costs $3000. My fiance gave him post dated cheques of $300 according to their agreement because she makes about $65,000/yr and he has been cashing the cheques eery month since last Nov even though her son has not been living with him....
Probably because you still have a court order, that states you share 50/50 joint custody. One can put a stop payment on cheques, FYI. Not sure it that should be the case or not, as I'm not clear on how this "custody" change happened.
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  #20  
Old 01-02-2014, 11:10 AM
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This is an old post from Wiser2008. I don't think he is looking for advice at this time. Serene brought the post forward as it is similar to her situation.
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