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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 06-04-2018, 08:25 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Default Decisions - who has the say when you canít agree

I am curious to get peopleís opinions on the latest in my fiasco.
A discussion was had recently during which I told my ex that I felt our child was old enough next school year to get himself on the bus in the morning (ending the need for daycare). He objected, of course, and told me it was his decision too. I told him he could make arrangements on his parenting time to get our kid to school as he sees fit and Iíd do the same.
This is the letter I got today (shorter version):

ďThis actually is a JOINT PARENTING DECISION to allow our child to stay home by himself and for arrangements for him in the fall. This WILL be a decision BOTH of us have a say in.

If you try making this decision on your own, things will unfortunately come to a head from a legal perspective. Our childís safety and security are BOTH of our businesses, regardless of on whose ďparenting timeĒ they occur on. Iím sure you can agree on that one.Ē

The child in question is 12 and is entering grade 7 in the fall. He is also an incredibly responsible and organized child. I have discussed this with him and he is keen to try it. I feel itís just another example of my ex opposing anything he can, regardless of best interests of the child.

Is he right that this is a joint custody decision and I shouldnít be deciding on my own or is it my time, my plan? Who ultimately decides this if we donít agree?





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  #2  
Old 06-04-2018, 08:36 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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I would say your time your plan.
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Old 06-04-2018, 08:42 PM
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Enroll you kid in a babysitter course. Then your ex can't argue about nothing.
I believe that a child has to be age 11 in some/most areas of Canada to be able to babysit. So if your child is of age to babysit himself it doesn't make much sense that he has to have daycare or a babysitter. Course is a good thing for safety while home alone anyhow.

your ex is an idiot IMO
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Old 06-04-2018, 08:48 PM
momof2teenboys momof2teenboys is offline
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So your child is on his own in the morning and will be responsible to get ready on time, lock the house, and get to the bus on time? Do you have a backup for the mornings he sleeps late or is just too slow and misses the bus?

Work out the "what ifs" with your child and give him a chance to show he can be responsible. 12 is a great age - and grade 7 is just fine (a little later than the average around here). If his dad prefers another option on his time that will be up to him.
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Old 06-04-2018, 08:59 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Enroll you kid in a babysitter course. Then your ex can't argue about nothing.
I believe that a child has to be age 11 in some/most areas of Canada to be able to babysit. So if your child is of age to babysit himself it doesn't make much sense that he has to have daycare or a babysitter. Course is a good thing for safety while home alone anyhow.

your ex is an idiot IMO


He has already done both the babysitting course and the Home Alone course.


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Old 06-04-2018, 09:26 PM
Ange71727 Ange71727 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momof2teenboys View Post
So your child is on his own in the morning and will be responsible to get ready on time, lock the house, and get to the bus on time? Do you have a backup for the mornings he sleeps late or is just too slow and misses the bus?



Work out the "what ifs" with your child and give him a chance to show he can be responsible. 12 is a great age - and grade 7 is just fine (a little later than the average around here). If his dad prefers another option on his time that will be up to him.


Thatís what I was thinking. My ex would never have to leave him alone since the parenting schedule is set up so that he only has them on his days off, but I donít think that means he can dictate what I decide for my parenting time.
As for backups and what ifís - yes we will have to have all the details ironed out for what will happen in the event of different scenarios....missing the bus being one of them.


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Old 06-04-2018, 09:30 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Your parenting time, your decision. Besides daycare programs end at age 12.
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Old 06-04-2018, 10:17 PM
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yep he's not very smart

How embarrassing for a young man/boy that his father thinks he needs a babysitter so he can get to and from school.....
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Old 06-04-2018, 11:01 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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Ange, why even reply? Dont fuel his fire.
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Old 06-04-2018, 11:06 PM
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This is in no way a joint parenting decision. That would extend to things like medical, religious and education. Day to day care decisions are up to the parent who has them on that day.

I would simply ignore. He can do what he wants on his time, if he chooses daycare then so be it, you are in no way obligated to do the same.
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