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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #1  
Old 04-13-2018, 03:25 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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Default Older Child (18yr) - access etc...

My new SO has an 18yr old daughter and is in the process of setting up a visitation schedule for the younger daughter (12yr old).

The dad is kind of a dead beat so he's kind of getting a break on paying for kids and my SO is asking he sees them every other weekend. Which is pretty straightforward for the 12yr old.

For the 18yr old however, I'm having trouble figuring out how it will work. I think just whatever he arranges with her is fine but there is also the aspect of her "Expenses" on the weekends she is supposed to be with him but she isn't. If she stays with us and we go out to eat for example then that's an expense we're incurring that he should be.... I don't care that much, it's more about the principle. What do you think?
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  #2  
Old 04-13-2018, 03:31 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Does he not pay child support?

Expenses? When shes with mom?

Im surprised Links, if it was you, what would you say to your ex if she said she needed money for expenses the kids had with her when they should be with you??
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Old 04-13-2018, 03:46 PM
kate331 kate331 is offline
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You pay for your kids and she pays for hers, problem solved.
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Old 04-13-2018, 08:33 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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He doesn't pay anything right now. He "can't afford" to pay full support. In our situation the proper visitation schedule is more important than his support payment.

The payment structure between me and my SO isn't an issue.

The issues are

1. How does a visitation schedule for an 18yr old get managed in general. This is a full-time student, non-driving, not very independant 18yr old, more like a 16yr old.

2. If the support is based on the 18yr old being "taken care" of every other weekend by parent A but the 18yr old stays with parent B how does that get calculated? How much more does parent A pay to parent B for those days?

Thanks!
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Old 04-13-2018, 08:52 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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Dad should be paying cs. Period. It doesn’t matter if he can afford it. How many other dads have had incomes imputed to them? Plenty! Heck my partner still paid cs when he had zero income and even that was for two kids when only one is eligible.

If mom is going to put up with this crap then let her but stop worrying about who pays for kid because guess what, mom does. She pays for everything. And visitation is visitation. Whether she is 5 or 18. She sees her dad. If she doesn’t want to see him you ask why.

Really Links. Im shocked that you ended up with a woman who has a deadbeat for an ex. What happened to never getting involved with a bloodsucker again?
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Old 04-13-2018, 08:56 PM
Links17 Links17 is offline
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She earns good money and works hard. (she earns more than him).
I'm a baller, so I don't care. Things have gone well for me
The dad earns like 35k....

The whole point is the dad is being given a break on CS to properly due every other weekend but i don't think it will really work out with the 18yr old.
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Old 04-13-2018, 10:19 PM
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Rioe Rioe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
He doesn't pay anything right now. He "can't afford" to pay full support. In our situation the proper visitation schedule is more important than his support payment.

Well, there's the start of the problem. He should be paying table CS for his income, and budget the rest of his life accordingly.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
1. How does a visitation schedule for an 18yr old get managed in general. This is a full-time student, non-driving, not very independant 18yr old, more like a 16yr old.

Okay, despite being 18, the kid still qualifies for CS, but is old enough to have time with her dad if/when she wants it. Nothing mom and dad agree on about scheduling can supersede her determination to get on a bus to go to the house she wants to be at, at any given moment. If she's at dad's less than 40% of the time, he owes full CS. If she's there between 40% and 60%, the mom owes him offset (since you said her income is higher than his). If she's there more than 60% of the time, the mom owes the dad full CS.



I would have thought you knew all this stuff already.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
2. If the support is based on the 18yr old being "taken care" of every other weekend by parent A but the 18yr old stays with parent B how does that get calculated? How much more does parent A pay to parent B for those days?

The table CS amount is the same, no matter if dad takes the kid 0% of the time, EoW, or 39% of the time. It doesn't get adjusted for how many weekends he actually takes the kid vs how many he was supposed to. It's just full table CS since he has less than 40%.


So it sounds like the mom was not going after the dad for the table CS, so that the dad would have more money to spend on the kid for his weekends? And she was supposed to save money because of not having to feed the kid on those weekends? But now he's not taking the kid, and she has neither the CS, nor the break on expenses? The solution is to have the CS enforced. Stop giving him the break. If she keeps doing so because she doesn't want to rock the boat, then the increased expense and lack of CS is the price she is paying for the smooth sailing.
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Old 04-13-2018, 10:53 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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Quote:
How does a visitation schedule for an 18yr old get managed in general
It doesnt, she is an adult, she can visit or not when she chooses.
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Old 04-13-2018, 10:58 PM
denbigh denbigh is offline
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Quote:
If the support is based on the 18yr old being "taken care" of every other weekend by parent A but the 18yr old stays with parent B how does that get calculated? How much more does parent A pay to parent B for those days?
This is really nickel and diming a situation. I am not sure how child support works for adult students, but for younger kids if it is an every other weekend situation, and the noncusodial parent does not take the kids for one weekend for some reason, they dont have to pay extra to cover their food for that weekend. They just pay the regular table amount. you are doealing with an adult who can come and go as she pleases, live where she wants, it is pretty unrealistic to think this ex is now going to pay for you taking kid out to eat in a restarant just becuase didnt go to ex for "access", when there isnt even access because it is an adult. None of this makes any sense
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Old 04-14-2018, 03:08 AM
rockscan rockscan is offline
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You saw what I said about no income and cs right? He’s making 35k? Pays support. And if mom is willing to accept reduced support, she pays.

If you’re so worried about paying for the kids meals out, make your gf pay for it. Kind of petty if you ask me. Thats like my partner saying he wants a break on cs when he buys the kids clothes on visits.
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