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Do parents usually share a child's birthday?

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  • #16
    Our court order states that if a parent doesn't have custody/access time with the child within 3 days befor or after his birthday, than that parent shall have 3hrs access to the child on or around (day before or after) his actual birthday.

    Usually, we celebrate my stepson's birthday on the weekend we have him closest to his actual birthday... and call him with birthday wishes the day of.

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    • #17
      We've worked it out that we split the day, alternating morning-3pm/3pm-night. That way, we each have an opportunity to see our son on his birthday, and each have enough time to schedule a party with family & friends.

      All these little details! Enough to drive one crazy!

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      • #18
        Originally posted by choochoo View Post
        We've worked it out that we split the day, alternating morning-3pm/3pm-night. That way, we each have an opportunity to see our son on his birthday, and each have enough time to schedule a party with family & friends.

        All these little details! Enough to drive one crazy!
        I assume your son is not yet in school. I hope you have a plan for when he's school age and his birthday falls on a school day. :-)

        (It never hurts to think ahead!)

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        • #19
          Originally posted by dadtotheend View Post
          In our agreement birthdays are to spent with the parent who has them on the normal schedule.
          This is what we ended up doing... it's simply easier that way. Even though our court order states that we may have 3 hours with the little guy on or around his birthday if we don't have regular access to him within 3 days of his birthday. We tend to make our own special birthday celebration on the weekend that he's with us. It works out best for everyone involved... in our case, at least.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by billiechic View Post
            yes, sometimes things need to be spelled out in detail. It really depends on you and your ex. If you think there is any chance (at all) that your co-operation will break down, then get everything in writing.
            This is so very true. If you can have an open and friendly relationship with the ex, then it works out best for everyone. Otherwise you get to wast time and money and have some judge dictate to you how to live your entire life.

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            • #21
              If you are asking for telephone access, be specific....when we started phone calls, it seemed so simple to us...but mom on the other end has it on speakerphone, yells at daughter for telling us anything MOM doesn't want us to know...

              Telephone access should be age-appropriate, so depending on the age of the child, you may need your ex to coordinate...but you and the child should be able to communicate with a level of privacy...lesson we learned the hard way for thinking it was COMMON SENSE.

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              • #22
                Example: "The parent who does not have care and control on the child's birthday shall be permitted to call at (SPECIFIC time) to speak with the child. The parent with care and control shall facilitate this call, but shall not interfere with the communication, and shall ensure that the child has the privacy to conduct this telephone access"

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                • #23
                  To further reduce conflict you can go on to add,

                  "This telephone access shall last until the child wishes to terminate the call, but shall not continue longer than XX minutes" This would depend on the birthdate...school night? Is the celebration scheduled for that day? etc...allow for flexibility, as the child is ultimately the one entitled to this call.

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