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Parenting Issues This forum is for discussing any of the parenting issues involved in your divorce, including parenting of step-children.

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  #21  
Old 06-23-2018, 11:29 AM
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Default Strike 4 on denying access

For the 4th time, I went in front of my ex's house and access was still denied. We waited for over 20 minutes then we left.


Once I got at home, I wrote a letter to my ex's lawyer to indicate that her client is in contempt and according to his last emails, she will continue to be in contempt. I also told him that CAS didn't have any concerns and the file will be closed. I ended my letter by stipulating that they were giving me no other choice but to file for contempt and also, to bring a motion to change based on a change of circumstances.
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  #22  
Old 06-23-2018, 02:16 PM
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In the future I would not communicate with ex's lawyer as all it does it give them the opening for dialogue which is, in your case, merely a stalling tactic. I'd let them "dialogue" with judge.

The only effective communication at this point, in my opinion, is through appropriate service of Notice of Motion.
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  #23  
Old 06-23-2018, 02:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
In the future I would not communicate with ex's lawyer as all it does it give them the opening for dialogue which is, in your case, merely a stalling tactic. I'd let them "dialogue" with judge.

The only effective communication at this point, in my opinion, is through appropriate service of Notice of Motion.


Wrong... in Ontario, there is a process to follow when facing contempt.


First, you must advice that they are in contempt which they will deny for sure.


Second, after a while, you must write a formal letter to informed them that they are in contempt of the order and you have no choice but to file with the court if they do not rectify or willing to.


Third, you serve and file for contempt and/or motion to change with the court and let them deal with the judge with their lies and BS.
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  #24  
Old 06-23-2018, 11:15 PM
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I assumed you already had communicated to the mother that she was in contempt no? I also assumed you had told the mother that you were going to file contempt proceedings if she did not adhere to the Order (thus fulfilling your first and second steps above).

Good luck on this. I will be very interested in reading outcome.
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  #25  
Old 06-25-2018, 07:55 PM
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Got an email from her lawyer today saying that she is not in contempt. She is saying that D10 do not wish to have anymore access. Now, she cannot parent. She is letting a 10 yo deciding what to do.


Definitely, she is in contempt and I told his lawyer there was nothing else to discuss on this matter and it will be dealt with in Court.


All my papers are ready. Just need some signatures and copies and they will be ready to serve.
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  #26  
Old 07-05-2018, 09:26 AM
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How will you establish that D10 'wants' to go with you? Do you have that in the CAS report or in other 'established' form. If it's your word against hers then it might not be open and shut case.

I ask because I'm in the same situation, with the exception that the D12 and S13 want to stay later at my home all the time. I'm currently building my case to change access.
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  #27  
Old 07-05-2018, 09:45 AM
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I have documented everything and I have evidence that the incident that occurred during the last access was planned and fixed by S17 and mom. D10 is only manipulated and being estranged from me. Since the order, access with D10 and S17 were perfect until the day I spoke to S17 about school and summer job (Job related to his program) and after D10 requested more access. The email forwarded to my ex to discuss the matter had a bad turnaround.
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  #28  
Old 09-16-2018, 12:10 PM
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Default No more solutions

I guest this is the end.


My contempt motion had no chance to move forward as the judge indicated that it was hard to prove without a doubt that my ex was responsible for D10 to be reluctant to visit with her father.


So he suggest to proceed the hearing as a Conference to settle the matter. The order on access from Friday to Sunday with D10 had no value at this point and a new temporary order on access had to put in place to re-instate the relationship between D10 and her father.


My ex told the judge that she will try to encourage D10 to maintain a relationship with the father but it's difficult as she refuse to see her father.


So I need to communicate with the EX to see if D10 is open to go out for 2 hours for lunch for a couple of time with her attending counseling until she is ready to come back to the access of the final order…… bla bla bla all a waist of time and money just so that she will reach 12 years old and decide that she no longer wants to see me.


Basically, knowing my ex won't cooperate with the temp order and saying that D10 doesn't want to go on her access visit to protect her from being in contempt, I do not have anymore recourse. My relationship with all my children is now over.


The justice made it as easy for my ex to just say that the children are the one who do not want to see their father.


My children were involved in our separation and were used as pawns to reject their father and to hate him. I know my relationship is over as she will have to sell the house to pay my share she owes me. She already told the kids that I was stealing the house and throwing them on the street.


There is nothing more to do. The damage is done and the consequences on my relationship with the children are irreversible. I do not think that children will come back to me one day because she constantly denigrates me in front of them. Just the house issue will surely make matters worse.


I am proud of my children and I love them. I can only wish them all the best and hope they will achieve their goals as I won't be part of their life anymore.


The END!


Good luck to all of you fighting for your children. I can only wish that your ex partner and lawyer won't turn the children against you. It happens all the time and the Court don't do shit about it remember that.


GOOD LUCK!
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  #29  
Old 09-16-2018, 12:35 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that this was your result. The matriarchal system of divorce needs to be reformed for sure, but perhaps that is a matter for another thread under Political Issues. The "best interest of the child" is mainly a bunch of BS used as an excuse to bleed you out of your money. If the children's interests really were placed first, CS table amounts would be substantially reduced because it is the money that motivates a lot of the parental alienation.

Consider reading a book by Dr. Amy Baker to learn about strategies to minimize parental alienation. The gist of what she writes is you have to try to teach your child to think critically about what people tell her. This is easier said than done but at least reading the book won't set you back thousands of dollars.
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  #30  
Old 09-16-2018, 12:40 PM
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Wow, this is heartbreaking. I cant even think of any words to give you any encouragement. I want to say DONT GIVE UP. But you have been through the wringer and are far more experienced in the court system than I.

When I read posts here about Mom's denying access, I always think to myself, they must be Super Mom's, I myself look forward to the breaks. I simply can't image why your ex wishes to raise children (let alone teenagers) on her own with NO help from Dad.

I do hope one day when your children are adults they will reconcile with you. Please dont give up that hope.
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