Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Moving on....Final Minutes of Settlement (for now)

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • #91
    New beginnings

    Originally posted by stripes View Post
    You got a very good outcome for Kid and both parents - stable home and education settings, agreement on shared parenting. Well done! And five years from now, none of the niggling stuff that's annoying right now will mean anything.
    So much weight lifted off my shoulders.

    You should have seen the LAO guys and both lawyer's eyes when my ex stated that her allegations of abuse were not true, blown out of proportion and that she was sorry. Intense.

    Almost 3 years of tears, heartache and at times sheer terror that I'd never see my child again. My mom (Nanny) barely made it through also.

    But now....new horizon's .. start over .. I see a great future. The past and whatever my ex did is just that...the past now.

    [EDIT]
    My goal was to avoid trial by being as reasonable, open-minded, settlement-oriented as possible. I'm super pleased I was able to dodge the trial
    Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-20-2016, 03:29 PM.

    Comment


    • #92
      yeah you would have ended up with full custody at trial if she admitted to truth.... Oh well. She's gotta know if she pulls a stunt again that she's finished.

      Comment


      • #93
        Originally posted by arabian View Post
        yeah you would have ended up with full custody at trial if she admitted to truth.... Oh well. She's gotta know if she pulls a stunt again that she's finished.
        This is what both lawyers and LAO guy said too. And what all judges hinted at . She simply went too far.

        Comment


        • #94
          Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
          This is what both lawyers and LAO guy said too. And what all judges hinted at . She simply went too far.
          Great to hear your daughter will be starting school and your ex realizes how close she came to losing custody for all the crap she put you through!

          Enjoy life after such a long grind in court, I know I am!

          YD

          Comment


          • #95
            Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
            You don't know what this activity is or what they're doing there
            Exactly .. that's the problem.

            . They confirmed that they weren't providing any treatment and that only one parent needs to consent for the activity.
            Actually, they confirmed they were giving treatment. I have in writing from my ex in the comm. book that they are providing some kind of mood therapy (without being qualified to do so). They need to update their definitions of "educational", "healthcare" and "Life altering" .. because if I "were" to pursue this ... they'd be in trouble. I've confirmed this with 4 close mental health professionals of mine , 3 of which are certified child psych's. They all agreed with Tayken's points.

            Now you say you're not going to do any of tayken's recommendations to fight this and you don't know where that came from, so I'll assume you never sent him the letter, but then you add unless they don't stop.
            I'm not looking to rock the boat right now. Tayken's advice is solid and this is his field of expertise I believe. I believe what he says regarding the center acting "improper" is accurate. I'm glad he didn't waste his time coming here and arguing with all who "think" they know. Smart on his part.

            In the coming weeks/months if there is no end to the ridiculous violence therapy for our 4 year old....yes I will get more involved. I would hope that any loving parent would to stand up for their child's mental hygiene.

            So take it to court and explain why this is hurting D, not could, and get it stopped. Get your power and control back
            [/QUOTE]
            The only person providing evidence that this may be possibly affecting D4 is my ex and her descriptions of behaviors.

            My ex and I are talking great right now ONDaddy. I would first attend family counseling with my ex to discuss the potential damage that could be done if this inappropriate therapy continued (remember the allegations were false and D4 is being forced to speak with an abuse counselor .. yes that's irresponsible and inappropriate).

            If that doesn't work I would schedule another Legal Aid Mediation to get the LAO guy to talk some sense in to her..STOP ABUSE COUNSELING when there was no damn abuse witnessed.

            If that doesn't work.....court it is. And yes I would win. OCL has denied the case (in fact ex asked for OCL and decided to not even submit an intake form..only I did). Every conference judge has urged my ex to take a parenting class. There's a voluptuous mountain of literature supporting my concerns.

            ONDaddy .. I recall your story was that you:

            a) went to an emergency motion -----> got a paper----->then went to police station the same day ----> then went to shelter and ripped your kid directly out? Wow .. screw consent from the father....you just stormed in and took the child out of the place. Perhaps I should use your method .... perhaps S&T or anyone else who has shelter experience can attest whether or not this could ever happen?
            Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-20-2016, 07:57 PM.

            Comment


            • #96
              Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
              Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure there is only one initial intake form for ocl.
              I will correct you .. and you are wrong. Ex's lawyer had that same response and was put directly in his place by the judge. If an "UPDATE" is requested (such as by my ex) .. you must submit an intake form for the update. In fact the judge told that directly to the LAO lawyer in the motion where they requested it. Since it was yet another game/stall tactic my ex had no reason to follow submit anything.

              Originally posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
              Not quite, but you make up stories like a pro.
              Here we go again. Nothing I said is true .. all a big story that's been fabricated for almost 3 years. Do you realize how crazy you sound? There are some here who have stuck with me the entire case, read the material, even befriended me on facebook.

              The only story that has never made sense is your own my friend.

              I'm sorry my story didn't turn out the way you had hoped. Very sorry. Are you also upset that my ex and I are getting along very well and co-parenting super awesome? How about a "congrats LF32?" Or is that not your style?

              The only relevant abuse over the past few years have been the posts and nastiness from you and S&T. Both of you have been warned numerous times from the mods .. yet you continue with your odd, fantasy world thoughts and attacks. If you can be so heartless and abusive here online .. I can just imagine what real life must be like ...yikes.
              Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-20-2016, 10:33 PM.

              Comment


              • #97
                Most interesting exchange yet. My ex stated how happy she was about our ability to talk about all issues, choose a school, etc.

                She told me that she was totally in the wrong for making up stuff for courts and that she was going "through something"? I asked if it was about me and she said no. I told her that the past is the past and that we just need to focus on the future and work together the best we can for D4.

                Going through something? I wonder what? It was indeed an interesting exchange.

                This is probably why my threads were so intriguing to most .. I had no idea what was happening. Tiny, mutual arguments dont cause this. And even the judge, after hearing the recordings told her she was instigating and louder in them.

                It's just so nice to finally hear her own up to everything.

                Comment


                • #98
                  I think that is a milestone for you. Having one's ex apologize would be a very significant thing. I have often reflected that my ex has never once, since our separation, apologized to me. I envy you that. When someone does this it may not change what has happened but it certainly can go a long way towards healing I would think. In your circumstance you didn't have much of a chance to come to terms with the fact that your ex had abruptly left you. In time she may open up to you more so you can understand things better. But then she may not. I'm sure she herself must be relieved that the court drama is over.

                  2016 is definitely starting out good for you and your daughter!
                  I'm sure you will continue to exercise caution when around her though...

                  Comment


                  • #99
                    Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                    Most interesting exchange yet. My ex stated how happy she was about our ability to talk about all issues, choose a school, etc.

                    She told me that she was totally in the wrong for making up stuff for courts and that she was going "through something"? I asked if it was about me and she said no. I told her that the past is the past and that we just need to focus on the future and work together the best we can for D4.

                    Going through something? I wonder what? It was indeed an interesting exchange.

                    This is probably why my threads were so intriguing to most .. I had no idea what was happening. Tiny, mutual arguments dont cause this. And even the judge, after hearing the recordings told her she was instigating and louder in them.

                    It's just so nice to finally hear her own up to everything.
                    Well, the story does sound sort of convenient that she did that right after you were questioned here.

                    But I agree with Arabian. Be very careful. The last time she was nice to you it meant a bj and leaving you. You seem to buy into her manipulations without evaluating her actions and motivations with your psychological knowledge.

                    And thank you for acknowledging the recordings above. I maintain that loud arguing, name calling and swearing in front of young children is abuse. Even if it was just your ex doing it (which was not your original story), you should have protected your daughter from that.

                    Comment


                    • I wouldnt trust her. My partners ex used to be sweet as pie right before she screwed him on seeing his kids or asking him for something outrageous. Then she would turn into ursula the sea witch when he even thought of asking a question or expressing his feelings.

                      Plus she got her ass handed to her so shes probably going to say anything to get you to "trust" her again.

                      As my mother used to say: she speaks with a forked tongue.

                      Comment


                      • Money drives everything with your ex. As long as she had free legal counsel she pursued her vindictive plan. Now she has to rely on her own finances she becomes agreeable.

                        Again just stick with the court order to the t! Keep communication written and polite but do not trust just yet. Maybe in a year you can move forward to that dream relationship you see in movies.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by LovingFather32 View Post
                          I will correct you .. and you are wrong. Ex's lawyer had that same response and was put directly in his place by the judge. If an "UPDATE" is requested (such as by my ex) .. you must submit an intake form for the update. In fact the judge told that directly to the LAO lawyer in the motion where they requested it. Since it was yet another game/stall tactic my ex had no reason to follow submit anything.
                          It all depends on the status of the "report". If is a report is submitted and already in the file then LF32 is correct that new intake forms will need to be filled out generally to get an update. Updates are a whole new process and not an extension (generally) to the current process.

                          OCL has limited funds and they don't like them being wasted. This is why court intervention is usually requested/required to perform updates.

                          Good Luck!
                          Tayken

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
                            And thank you for acknowledging the recordings above. I maintain that loud arguing, name calling and swearing in front of young children is abuse.
                            Today, in front of children, strangers are yelling in front of children... Is this "abuse"? Your definition of abuse it too wide in my humble opinion.

                            The reality is children are exposed to disagreements between adults all the time in public places and we don't label this abuse. If parents disagree on a matter it doesn't make it "abuse". Especially if it was a one time occurrence. Generally it takes a consistent pattern of this kind of conduct for it to be "abuse". If there is a consistent pattern and not a one time recorded interaction then there is an issue. But, the abuse would be demonstrated in the child and evident to other qualified professionals.

                            Good Luck!
                            Tayken

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Tayken View Post
                              Today, in front of children, strangers are yelling in front of children... Is this "abuse"? Your definition of abuse it too wide in my humble opinion.

                              The reality is children are exposed to disagreements between adults all the time in public places and we don't label this abuse. If parents disagree on a matter it doesn't make it "abuse". Especially if it was a one time occurrence. Generally it takes a consistent pattern of this kind of conduct for it to be "abuse". If there is a consistent pattern and not a one time recorded interaction then there is an issue. But, the abuse would be demonstrated in the child and evident to other qualified professionals.

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken
                              It gets even better than that. If we did have an argument, (like every couple does) it was nothing horrendous and not in front of D4.

                              The exact words the motion judge used were "edited snippets that are one sided and entirely unreliable". It was an arts and craft project for her. You can even hear (and the judge commented on) the static transitions of little clips being put together.

                              But I agree with Tayken. An adult couple having a little argument in front of a child is not "abuse" and does not warrant any parent to do what my ex did.

                              In the end .. her arts and crafts project was thoroughly analyzed by the courts, police and CAS and they all came to the same conclusion ..... ridiculous.

                              Only here on the good ol' internet, personalities come out of the woodwork and try to become judges themselves based on their own personal history, experiences and beliefs. People who didn't believe me from the get go or wished me not to succeed for whatever odd reason just want to keep discussing abuse.

                              This was the most traumatic experience of my entire life .. and I'm so very happy it's done (for now). It saddens me that I'm still being called abusive, a liar, etc. I'm very new to trolling-like internet behavior .. never experienced this before odf.

                              It's quite frightening actually .. similar to cyber bullying I would think .. which is being taken very seriously right now with the amass of suicides we see. IMO people need to check their own quality of life/mental health if this is what their pastime consists of.

                              Regarding trusting my ex .. yea I'll always be on alert. She abducted my child, held her for many months from my family and I and used every system resource she could for freebies. If we want to discuss harm or abuse to a child, I would hazard a guess that if anything were to affect D4...that would be it.

                              Conveniently. ex reported all of D4's behaviors after her abduction. Never before were there any behavioral concerns by anybody. A perfect little girl (And still has been while in my care).

                              Perhaps my child didn't appreciate being ripped away from all the ppl she loved and the only life she knew.. for no good reason.
                              Last edited by LovingFather32; 01-21-2016, 03:40 PM.

                              Comment


                              • I think there's a different between crappy parenting decisions and abuse. Fighting in front of kids is bad parenting, in my opinion, because it can be scary for kids to see their two strongest attachment figures out of control and turning on each other. But it's not necessarily abuse, unless it's prolonged, intense, and damages children beyond the normal bruises that life inflicts. Nobody gets out of childhood without a few bumps and stresses. But most people go through distressing experiences in childhood, including temporary separation from parents or witnessing parental anger, without being permanently warped by it to the extent that they can't function or be happy.

                                (And at some point or other, everybody makes a bad parenting decision. What matters is whether you learn from it and change your behaviour or whether you just continue on because you're oblivious or don't care about the effect your actions have on the people around you).

                                Comment

                                Our Divorce Forums
                                Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                                Working...
                                X