SC's, Motions and Trial's.. Oh My!

[arabian]

Seems to me that your ex has failed to a) attend the mandatory after separation course and b) failed to submit to drug/alcohol screening and c) provided you with proof of residence as presumably you have an order somewhere preventing your ex from moving your daughter out-of-province?

Family Law Information - Ministry of the Attorney General

Does your current Order indicate somewhere that you should have graduated increased access? If not you should be persistent in obtaining increased access.

All the stuff about counselling is merely an attempt to keep you from pushing, and likely receiving, more and more access.

Increased access for you = ex is unencumbered and can find employment. I suspect that this is the real reason she wants to keep D3 around and not in school.

I would hazard a guess that your ex would like nothing better than to get into a dispute with you about ANYTHING so as to maintain the status quo. With this in mind I'd junk the communication book unless it is to flood the pages with super-positive things.

Drop-off/pick-ups - specific instructions that, due to ex's preoccupation with false allegations as evidenced in the past, parties maintain a distance from each other (including each other's vehicles). Ex should not be anywhere near your vehicle or on your property.

I'd provide a name of a family physician that the two of you will agree to use in future for D3. The one close to you being the most logical as it is within easy access of the child's habitual home.

Stay the course!

[dad2bandm]

readnotify.com is REALLY cool!

I have free trial expiring March 3rd.

I just tested it. Works great!!...

I use ReadNotify.com.
It can be useful. OurFamilyWizard would be the better go-forward tool, for down the road, but for sure, ReadNotify at least gives you something in the interim to use.

[MrToronto]

I agree with Arabian that Goldilocks is throwing up garbage to stall any increase on access

Did you get the access schedule you asked for at the Motion?

or did the Judge make it? (impose it on OP)

It's assumed the Motion Order is "interim"

The odd thing is when a SC Judge wants more access to take place which causes the stench of status quo

If you say nothing on more access between SC conferences, a Judge may assume that the interim access order should be final

Thanks to Goldilocks the present access order is hitting some rough patches, she should shut her mouth and get along but she's still playing the victim card

Is Goldilocks denying access (above the minimum imposed which has now been imposed twice on her at court), is this a "change of circumstances" (one more reason) to vary the interim Motion Order

Basically the more trouble Goldilocks causes the better for LF32...from exchanges to victim kid shrinks

Status quo will start setting in after the next SC where the 2014 Motion Order starts to get status quo-ish into May or June.

[LovingFather32]

I agree with Arabian that Goldilocks is throwing up garbage to stall any increase on access

Did you get the access schedule you asked for at the Motion?

or did the Judge make it? (impose it on OP)

It's assumed the Motion Order is "interim"

The odd thing is when a SC Judge wants more access to take place which causes the stench of status quo

If you say nothing on more access between SC conferences, a Judge may assume that the interim access order should be final

Thanks to Goldilocks the present access order is hitting some rough patches, she should shut her mouth and get along but she's still playing the victim card

Is Goldilocks denying access (above the minimum imposed which has now been imposed twice on her at court), is this a "change of circumstances" (one more reason) to vary the interim Motion Order

Basically the more trouble Goldilocks causes the better for LF32...from exchanges to victim kid shrinks

Status quo will start setting in after the next SC where the 2014 Motion Order starts to get status quo-ish into May or June.

Yes, I did get what I asked for at the Motion.

Yes she is denying any extra access that I ask for. Special days and all.

(Still no response on March Break .. gave her deadline of Feb 27th)

Good point. Access has been imposed on her twice now. Again highlighting the fact that the only way D3 get's to see her father at all is through a judge.

A glowing SC endorsement (for things like school) would strengthen and necessitate our need for the motion for sure.

I'll be finalizing the affidavits next Tuesday then setting a motion date for school/CS/Therapy stuff. Not sure when to use a motion to ask for more access or if I should use subsequent motion for that.

[LovingFather32]

If you recall, my previous SC endorsement read:

SC Held

Recommendations Made:

New Access regime just given after decision of Justice ___ on Oct __/2014. Parties agree to wait for another few months for situation to stabilize for 3 year old child. Existing order will continue.

Justice ___ from this SC will hear the next SC if available within 3 months.


I was just informed by my lawyer that we're not doing an SC. That it won't help any. We're getting ready for a motion.= instead. Im a tad confused. Thoughts?
I suppose another SC would really accomplish nothing except MAYBE get a good endorsement .. but who knows with the SC judge we had Not sure what to think about it all.

[rockscan]

Maybe the thinking is enough with this bs and its time to get serious with a final order that has consequences? At this point from my cheap seat the SCs are only providing your ex with more opportunities to present some other story.

[Beachnana]

Maybe ex is running out of legal aid?

Maybe ex has a PQ job or her bf has said are you moving or not?

Maybe they feel the judge said a couple of months and its been just that and they dont want things tomgo on any longer. Best to put all this into a motion and hooefully judge will continue with said access, as its working?

Maybe its just better for you to get to a motion and deal with this once and for all.

[LovingFather32]

Agreed. I also think that I should be asking for more access in the meantime (within reason). The more I get denied the more judges will see what's happening at the motion. As Mr. T so accurately put it .. SC would have been a "snorefest".

[arabian]

I like motions. This whole series of "conferences" that people go through is more often than not just a waste of time and money - fancy 4-way meetings.

In your case LF32 there is no movement from your ex for settlement (although you should continually make offers to settle) so you might just as well chip away at the important things that matter to you on a day-to-day basis.

Motions, if worded properly, can be a work of art. You can start by referring to your home as the "habitual" home. You can reiterate the abduction and refusal of your ex to allow access which is why you have to continually go to court for increased access. Your position is clear, concise and FACTUAL. Get the best bang-for-the buck and go for a long motion and start the money talks. We are now in a new tax year and it's time to talk about imputing income perhaps? Maybe mom needs to concede some make-up time (which she robbed you of last year) so she can attend the mandatory after-separation parenting course?

You should be exchanging financials with her soon - best to get that put in the motion.

I'm feeling almost giddy now.

[LovingFather32]

Ex describes Welfare as a full time job. She details the great benefits she has, the flexibility in day to day life, etc. I think something needs to be brought up regarding her "plan". Staying on Welfare and keeping D3 out of school isn't conducive to the best interests of anybody, including herself.

I like your idea of make up time although I heard judges don't usually travel that road. And I won't dare bring up anything that has to do with ex getting any kind of after-separation training courses here on ODF. I was ambushed when I mentioned passing along a simple article that I myself found helpful.

What I would love is more access come the motion. Especially that 6 day run that D3 doesn't see me. She often says she misses me and doesn't want to wait. 6 days is long for a 3 year old.

Also, I wonder if the judge can do anything about ex entering my vehicle. She says she will do it as she sees fit. By the time she asked for her 4th hug the one day D3 got irritated, almost as if to say "geez .. I already gave you 3". The time her mom came was the worst. Her mom went to the other side of the car, asked D8 to roll down her window and asked if she was going to school.

Anyhow .. looks like I'm motion bound. In the coming days I'll be putting together some good affidavit points and a nice factum.

[dad2bandm]

...
Also, I wonder if the judge can do anything about ex entering my vehicle. She says she will do it as she sees fit...

This wouldn't be a problem if D3 is in school, as each respective parent can simply pickup/dropoff child there (or from after school care if necessary), without the other being around. My point, is to maybe also mention the benefits of school in motion, as being the neutral location where exchanges can happen, without both parents having to be present. Where it would impact D3 the least, as there have been instances in the past, where the exchanges are too prolonged, and parents entering vehicles, etc, at exchange time... which makes things more anxious than they have to be?

Totally messed up. Your ex and her Mom can do this all inside, or on their front-step... probably hoping to cause some incident, where they can claim you tried pulling away, while they were trying to hug child, or something.

[Rioe]

Also, I wonder if the judge can do anything about ex entering my vehicle. She says she will do it as she sees fit. By the time she asked for her 4th hug the one day D3 got irritated, almost as if to say "geez .. I already gave you 3". The time her mom came was the worst. Her mom went to the other side of the car, asked D8 to roll down her window and asked if she was going to school.

Although I absolutely agree that neutral exchanges are yet another benefit of school, you need something in the meantime.

What about parking out of sight but near the exchange location and walking over to your ex to get D3? They can do brief goodbyes and then you and your daughter can stroll back just the two of you to wherever you left the car. It would keep your car private from your ex, and keep your girlfriend and her daughter from being quizzed if they are with you.

If you rely on a judge to try to address ALL your ex's behaviour, your motion is going to take forever, your court order is going to be long and confusing, your lawyer bill will be huge, and your ex can still ignore it as she sees fit. You have to learn to fight the big stuff and work around the little stuff.

[MrToronto]

Follow the past SC Judges Endorsement the key words being ..stabilize and in 3 months

After the 3 months from the last SC is up then consider options.

It's a technicallity but that is what I've found OP will use to weasel out off things and Judges latch onto.

Court is the LAST resort for parties in the abnormal world of seperation

and Motions between Conferences you really have to be PUSHED to get a determination on a matter. (to abandon due process)

You were PUSHED (your basic rights trampled on) by OP denying access

What is the PUSH here?

JK isn't till September (no hurry)

Exchanges are annoying (who cares)

You want more time with D3 ( but your not being denied ...ex just says she has plans and follows the current order)

Motions are not for a list of petty grievences, you recieved the Order you asked for in Dec? (I'm devils advocate)

Why doesn't your lawyer set a Trial Management Conference.

I don't think there is much more to get out of Judges (without a Trial). If they think you've gone litigation happy they'll slap you down (to get back into the process..I mean meat grinder)

I've seen nothing lately that has violated your current order or urgent enough to change the current order.

Your lawyer may have something I don't see anything.

[arabian]

Keep the bitch out of your car by telling her to "stay back and quit trespassing." Your car is an extension of your home in that it is personal property.

You must establish and enforce your boundaries. Firmly. She has no business being anywhere in or on your property.

These are the sorts of things you should first tell to her face. If she continues the inappropriate behavior you put it in a letter (cc to your lawyer). If that fails then you address it in court.

Neither of you should be in or on each other's property unless specifically invited to do so (I doubt this will happen but if it does DECLINE).

I agree to keep the g/f & daughter out of the picture as you would appreciate the same consideration.

[arabian]

When one party is continually trying to manipulate court process and set the other party up a motion process can be handy as the two parties do not have to talk to one another.

Strategically speaking, the motion could be handy to put into the record the ex's refusal to work and stay on welfare. Motion also can be used to order financial disclosure exchange and set imputed income for purpose of determining support. IT's been a year now and financial issues haven't been dealt with. Is that a good thing (no paying of SS)? or is it a compounded factor to support stay-at-home welfare mom?