Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce Support

Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #511  
Old 10-24-2014, 04:58 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,520
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OhMy View Post
Congrats LF.

Hopefully the emotions on both sides will now be able to reduce for the benefit of D3.

Oh btw, not sure if you celebrate Christmas, or if holidays were addressed in the temp order... If they were not addressed: Christmas Eve falls on a Wednesday this year
whoa whoa ... So I get her x-mas eve, x-mas and boxing day? Really?

Order says Wednesdays overnights until Thursdays (not sure in exchange time) .. x-mas day noon until boxing day (not sure time).

Ohhhh man. Ex wont like that. Thanks for the x-mas eve date notice. That's great!
Reply With Quote
  #512  
Old 10-24-2014, 05:08 PM
dinkyface dinkyface is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,476
dinkyface will become famous soon enough
Default

To reduce conflict, you might want to offer to switch the Xmas Weds overnight to the prior Tues, or instead take it as an extra day on the prior weekend (reduces #handovers). UNLESS ... there was also language in your order indicating specifically what xmas/vacation time your ex gets i.e. was it an oversight that she would not get xmas morning?
Reply With Quote
  #513  
Old 10-24-2014, 05:13 PM
OntarioMomma OntarioMomma is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 327
OntarioMomma is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Did I mention what the judge was disgusted about most?

Get this, OP pulled up an e-mail from me to my mom .. a very nice one. "You're the greatest mother. I'm lucky to have you, etc. I'm thinking hey keep reading...this is good for my character and my case.

At the end of the e-mail I say "Love you, xox"

OP says I don't even have boundaries with my own mother (insinuating incest?)

Judge was LIVID with this. They just go too far. He went on for 3 sentences about how OP's allegations were out of line.
That's ridiculous! I text/email my family members like that all the time.
So glad the judge saw right though all the BS.
Reply With Quote
  #514  
Old 10-24-2014, 05:16 PM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,520
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dinkyface View Post
To reduce conflict, you might want to offer to switch the Xmas Weds overnight to the prior Tues, or instead take it as an extra day on the prior weekend (reduces #handovers). UNLESS ... there was also language in your order indicating specifically what xmas/vacation time your ex gets i.e. was it an oversight that she would not get xmas morning?
Probably an oversight.
Reply With Quote
  #515  
Old 10-24-2014, 07:01 PM
rockscan rockscan is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 4,739
rockscan will become famous soon enough
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
Mr. T. Next sequel is what Arabian wrote .. D3 is to distressed to visit .. doesn't want to visit .. refuses to visit .. seeds of PAS.

My partner has had both the lawyer who has had to help him enforce visitation and his lawyer now tell him that the custodial parent is responsible to encourage parenting time. Its also in a number of canlii cases I looked up where the judge admonished a parent for not doing so.

Your daughter is three. She doesnt know what she wants or what is good for her. She doesnt get to choose. Your ex is responsible for accommodating and facilitating your parenting time. Anything else is denial of access so good luck to her trying to get away with that ESPECIALLY after she was called on all her crap.
Reply With Quote
  #516  
Old 10-25-2014, 01:03 AM
MrToronto's Avatar
MrToronto MrToronto is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,338
MrToronto is on a distinguished road
Default

There's really no time between remaining Conferences (SC and TMC could be combined) and a Trial waiting list for LF32 early 2015 for farting around.

I strongly suggest "combining the SC and TMC" but LF32 has to be fully prepared .

The Motion Judge left Goldilocks as the primary parent, but removed the "victim label".

Unexpected for LF32...how could he of thought to prepare for "enforcement of a access Order"

LMAO..in his mind he could of been dismissed to a access center that day

TIME....now works both ways for both parties.

Longer the TIME a parent spends as the primary parent, the more likely even after a Trial it stays that way.

IMPIED SOLE CUSTODY:
1) Mom does all the Health and Welfare
2) Mom does all the activities
3) Mom has had the child majority of time
4) Mom has the stable home
5) Mom receives the Child Support
6) any existing Orders

The above are just a few reasons for why MOM just naturally gets child.

The more TIME that goes by....the firmer points 1 to 6 become for Goldilocks.

Goldilocks will be TOLD to do the minimum the Motion Judge Ordered....BARE minimum. ALL she has to do is keep to the above 6 points.

Hopefully agreeable to special days....and activities.....but primarily stick to having D3 the primary part of the time.

OCL stated:
1) Goldilocks lives by babysitter
2) Goldilocks will sit on welfare until D3 is 5
3) Old goat wants D3 in Quebec.

The ulterior MOTIVES for Goldilocks means tread carefully, her weakness is hiding a jurisdiction change....her goal is to get a Order with her as Sole Custody.

Once that is obtained....it's extremely hard to change.

It's maybe why LAO scumbag lawyer came right back with OCT 31 for beginning of access even when Judges endorsement wasn't clear....(he could of been a arsehole)

OP is circling the wagons...protecting there BOTTOM line SOLE

Will OP be High Conflict on....access....special days...activities...health and welfare...OFW......I don't think they will be

I highlighted OFW for a reason....last things FIRST.....because OP is protecting SOLE (and being nice within reason to make LF32 unreasonable blathering away on pediatrician appointments)

Before Xmas and anything else.....work on OFW...letter Monday....just on that. SIGN UP after Mondays letter is sent.....OFW will call (if you have phone numbers) Goldilocks.

Now....you got High Conflict ...item number 1...documented

Letter 2 ..you'll pay both parties subscriptions...item 2...documented

Why OFW?.....LMAO ...not hard to figure out that for any Judge

Rejection of your overtures on OFW ...means a Judge sifting through a pile of texts and letters from both parties....(they hate that).

BUT YOU BE FORCED TO THAT by OP.

High Conflict is coming from....access...pickup/drop off.....special days...activities...health and welfare.

OP does not want to WORK WITH YOU on any level....except to do bare minimum

You have to work fast...because of TIME and implied consent to Sole...you have to appear reasonable, and NEVER MENTION MONEY

except....updated financials....to see if welfare Quebec...see if Goldilocks has a job in your town...indications of where Goldilocks is "settled"

Judges can smell money MOTIVES faster than Bullsh!T

for Settlement Conference Judge(follow endorsements) your huge efforts for OFW because of "allegations"

..that's why a SC judge see's ..OP bafflegab...innuendo...bullsh!t ....in Texts and Letters...and dumps them as a waste of time.

OFW isn't for "week long waits for replies" or games...it's automatic notifications and E-mail alerts

be patient....if OP makes one more "allegation" after their disaster of a Motion....Custody goes straight to you. So play the game cautiously, knowing OP is going to BLOW IT

Last edited by MrToronto; 10-25-2014 at 01:43 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #517  
Old 10-25-2014, 10:00 AM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,520
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrToronto View Post
There's really no time between remaining Conferences (SC and TMC could be combined) and a Trial waiting list for LF32 early 2015 for farting around.

I strongly suggest "combining the SC and TMC" but LF32 has to be fully prepared .

The Motion Judge left Goldilocks as the primary parent, but removed the "victim label".

Unexpected for LF32...how could he of thought to prepare for "enforcement of a access Order"

LMAO..in his mind he could of been dismissed to a access center that day

TIME....now works both ways for both parties.

Longer the TIME a parent spends as the primary parent, the more likely even after a Trial it stays that way.

IMPIED SOLE CUSTODY:
1) Mom does all the Health and Welfare
2) Mom does all the activities
3) Mom has had the child majority of time
4) Mom has the stable home
5) Mom receives the Child Support
6) any existing Orders

The above are just a few reasons for why MOM just naturally gets child.

The more TIME that goes by....the firmer points 1 to 6 become for Goldilocks.

Goldilocks will be TOLD to do the minimum the Motion Judge Ordered....BARE minimum. ALL she has to do is keep to the above 6 points.

Hopefully agreeable to special days....and activities.....but primarily stick to having D3 the primary part of the time.

OCL stated:
1) Goldilocks lives by babysitter
2) Goldilocks will sit on welfare until D3 is 5
3) Old goat wants D3 in Quebec.

The ulterior MOTIVES for Goldilocks means tread carefully, her weakness is hiding a jurisdiction change....her goal is to get a Order with her as Sole Custody.

Once that is obtained....it's extremely hard to change.

It's maybe why LAO scumbag lawyer came right back with OCT 31 for beginning of access even when Judges endorsement wasn't clear....(he could of been a arsehole)

OP is circling the wagons...protecting there BOTTOM line SOLE

Will OP be High Conflict on....access....special days...activities...health and welfare...OFW......I don't think they will be

I highlighted OFW for a reason....last things FIRST.....because OP is protecting SOLE (and being nice within reason to make LF32 unreasonable blathering away on pediatrician appointments)

Before Xmas and anything else.....work on OFW...letter Monday....just on that. SIGN UP after Mondays letter is sent.....OFW will call (if you have phone numbers) Goldilocks.

Now....you got High Conflict ...item number 1...documented

Letter 2 ..you'll pay both parties subscriptions...item 2...documented

Why OFW?.....LMAO ...not hard to figure out that for any Judge

Rejection of your overtures on OFW ...means a Judge sifting through a pile of texts and letters from both parties....(they hate that).

BUT YOU BE FORCED TO THAT by OP.

High Conflict is coming from....access...pickup/drop off.....special days...activities...health and welfare.

OP does not want to WORK WITH YOU on any level....except to do bare minimum

You have to work fast...because of TIME and implied consent to Sole...you have to appear reasonable, and NEVER MENTION MONEY

except....updated financials....to see if welfare Quebec...see if Goldilocks has a job in your town...indications of where Goldilocks is "settled"

Judges can smell money MOTIVES faster than Bullsh!T

for Settlement Conference Judge(follow endorsements) your huge efforts for OFW because of "allegations"

..that's why a SC judge see's ..OP bafflegab...innuendo...bullsh!t ....in Texts and Letters...and dumps them as a waste of time.

OFW isn't for "week long waits for replies" or games...it's automatic notifications and E-mail alerts

be patient....if OP makes one more "allegation" after their disaster of a Motion....Custody goes straight to you. So play the game cautiously, knowing OP is going to BLOW IT
OFW is very important now I agree. 80% of me says that they will disagree/ignore these offers. (That used to be 100%). Even though ex knows it will be good for her to cooperate with visits, etc, she has her mom to deal with.

It's as simple as this .. she can't be awarded sole. Not because it's a competition but because I strongly believe I should be included in important decision making. I want a say in education. I want a say in her health. Not because I'm controlling but because I honestly believe I have a lot to offer in these decisions.

Education for instance. Ex says D3 has attachment issues, stays home all day wiping ex's tears, asking her why she's sad. And she wants that to continue for the next 2 years? Why not get her in to junior kindergarten next year?

D3 is active, social and extremely intelligent. She wants to be around other children. Ex keeping her home as further tactics for court and so that she doesn't have to work is not in D3's best interests.

Should I be signing her up for school? Or will I look like a schemer doing that right now? I want to do everything right.

6 Points:

1) Mom does all the Health and Welfare
First wed I have her I will introduce to new family Dr. (It's a man .. we'll see if ex was right saying D3 only responds to female Dr's.). We'll get a full physical, etc.
2) Mom does all the activities
Time to look for Wed/Friday evening classes/activities. I've already cam across a few that seem great.
3) Mom has had the child majority of time
By force most of the time. OCL helped her out with this last denial. You will read in canlii soon that this judge was disgusted with her tactics of keeping child though. Subsequent judge will read this. Trial judge also.
4) Mom has the stable home
I would argue just how stable it is. She cries all day, D3 wiping her tears. She reports to CAS that single parenting is "Overwhelming" and she gets lonely. Mr. T. You know my living arrangements at the moment. Very healthy for her.
5) Mom receives the Child Support
6) any existing Orders

I've learned a great deal about "Material Changes In Circumstances" and yes they have to be compelling enough to warrant a vary in an existing order. Compelling is the word here that needs to be proven.

OFW will be the next logical step.

Mr. T, there wont be piles of texts/-mails if OFW is not ordered. There will be NOTHING. Ex will not speak to me in any format, period.

"If you don't respond by .... I will consider this a refusal" becomes very important.

OFW denied will be a nice exhibit though.
__________________________________________________ __________
High Conflict is coming from....access...pickup/drop off.....special days...activities...health and welfare.

OP does not want to WORK WITH YOU on any level....except to do bare minimum
__________________________________________________ __________


You've got my mind going now. I don't want future judges to think this is the end result that I dreamed of. 50% is. Sole if ex fights 50%. I don't want any of my actions to imply im okay with the current status (as happy as I am)

I've got to keep going. One thing I have going for me is her refusal of communication. As long as I keep sending requests for info and getting denied (also being denied OFW), the better for me. This is not me being high conflict. This is me asking for things I've had a right to know since day 1.



Last edited by LovingFather32; 10-25-2014 at 10:09 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #518  
Old 10-25-2014, 10:45 AM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,668
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

I think getting a physical is good thing, particularly if your ex starts to throw out allegations of abuse again. You probably have to get a health care card for your daughter (unless your ex has provided this).

I agree with Mr. T. that you should move quickly to get the SC/TMC date lined up. You have plenty of evidence to show that your ex keeps daughter from you. Unless she has been advised, and she can adhere strictly to the advice, to be forthcoming and cooperative about access, she is "hooped."

I like that you are taking leading and proactive approach to dealing with your ex now.

Someone mentioned a few posts back about having exchanges done early in day. I think that is very wise advice.

Your ex is going to be doing alot of driving. Hope car she is driving is reliable and she has up-to-date insurance.
Reply With Quote
  #519  
Old 10-25-2014, 10:59 AM
arabian's Avatar
arabian arabian is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 10,668
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Magician Ian Quick ? A Magic Halloween Ghastly and Ghoul-y Show - Canada Aviation and Space Museum

Maybe you can find something which is of interest to both you and your daughter. I believe the local space and science places in major Canadian cities have excellent programs which might suit your timetable with your daughter.
Reply With Quote
  #520  
Old 10-25-2014, 11:19 AM
LovingFather32's Avatar
LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 4,520
LovingFather32 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
I think getting a physical is good thing, particularly if your ex starts to throw out allegations of abuse again. You probably have to get a health care card for your daughter (unless your ex has provided this).

I agree with Mr. T. that you should move quickly to get the SC/TMC date lined up. You have plenty of evidence to show that your ex keeps daughter from you. Unless she has been advised, and she can adhere strictly to the advice, to be forthcoming and cooperative about access, she is "hooped."

I like that you are taking leading and proactive approach to dealing with your ex now.

Someone mentioned a few posts back about having exchanges done early in day. I think that is very wise advice.

Your ex is going to be doing alot of driving. Hope car she is driving is reliable and she has up-to-date insurance.
SC/TMC = Dec. 3rd

I just need to get forced status quo thrown out (abduction/access denials/etc) and show who's really been trying to cooperate and communicate.

Ive said it from the very beginning. I will ALWAYS respect, promote and encourage D3's mother. I would never fathom asking my daughter to keep secrets nor bad mouth her mother. Im in the field. I know the psychological ramifications.

Does this sound bad? That I actually felt bad when ex was crying in court even though she's done all of this to me? I felt bad because I loved her for 8 years. I felt bad because I immediately saw her sadness graduate to the home and I didn't want D3 to be affected by it either.

Is it just because I'm a nice guy that I felt bad? Because man she's put me through the ringer here.

Then I wake up and realize what she's done to this poor little girl, myself and my entire family. It's inexcusable.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Child with high section 7 expenses and spousal support vicarious Financial Issues 8 04-29-2011 04:56 PM
Child support after child has completed high school szepj1 Financial Issues 1 10-14-2010 04:57 PM
High conflict in Custody Cases Underdog Divorce & Family Law 46 07-15-2010 07:55 PM
The long road after... Banaschar Divorce Support 24 05-13-2010 03:26 PM
5th year high school Denisem Divorce & Family Law 6 06-07-2007 12:31 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:22 PM.