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Divorce Support This forum is for discussing the emotional aspects of divorce: stress, anger, betrayal of trust and more.

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  #101  
Old 10-06-2014, 12:53 PM
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LovingFather32 LovingFather32 is offline
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I feel like that course is offered at a perfect time.

Imagine ex was instructed to take it too.. "akward".

So we can pretty much assume that access will still be supervised with this distraught OCL "concerns". Thats what I'm getting from all this. Still the erring on caution BS.
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  #102  
Old 10-06-2014, 01:28 PM
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Drive for the best result but expect the worst.

I'm not a big fan of your lawyer, but she's better than nothing.

You got to wait I guess for the Final Report so it's hoped you have written up about 50 draft compliant letters by now

It's hoped you've gone over OCL job description and compared it with your interim report.

also

Things she failed to look at (counsellor)

Things she knew (ex in Quebec) but glossed over.

The results of your Motion depend on dis crediting the OCL (in a nice way)

OCL has already damaged OP position.....by writing you both ...argued, drink, doped.......isn't that OP entire case against you?

I wrote before...all the OCL had to do was "caution you" that maybe giving your own darn kid a bath wasn't a good idea at this present time and coach you on supervisor expectations.....but that's my opinion...I'm a fixer not a destroyer.

OCL is all or nothing, just like the EX, just like the LAO scumbag lawyer.

A Judge can say thanks for the OCL report but not interested in it .. then return back to following the ACCESS endorsements.

There's a ton of item's you can use (hopefully without prejudiced the report) against the OP....and vica versa

it's the innuendo part (half the report)...that you want dismissed as nonsense.

OCL won't be at the Motion.....it's clearly written (somewhere) both parties have no issue over bath....and parties are there in front of Judge to confirm this....unless OP gets stupid.

So Judge may not linger too long over "bath boundaries" and move onto resolving the issue of .....denied access.
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  #103  
Old 10-06-2014, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.
No matter what kind of deal she's giving you, she should still be cc'ing you on every single bit of correspondence in the case, unless you ask her not to. Adding your name to the cc line doesn't add to her billable hours, and ensures that you're being kept in the loop. You need to know exactly what she's doing and saying in order to be fully informed. It is standard practice.
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  #104  
Old 10-06-2014, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.



simply ask her to hit the "cc" or "bcc" button on her email when sending - one click shouldn't amount to an additional charge to you.

Last edited by arabian; 10-06-2014 at 02:39 PM.
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  #105  
Old 10-06-2014, 05:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
She's giving me legal aid rates. A huge honking deal. And having legal students help with factums, case law, etc.

So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.
off all the things you have said on here etc this is the one thing that really worries me. You don't hope your lawyer is doing something, you tell her to do it. Are you scared that if you start demanding (normal, routine) stuff that she will drop you and you wont get the deal on the rates? Remember the old saying, you get what you pay for.

If your lawyer screws this up for you, don't be blaming her. You need to control your lawyer.
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  #106  
Old 10-06-2014, 05:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
off all the things you have said on here etc this is the one thing that really worries me. You don't hope your lawyer is doing something, you tell her to do it. Are you scared that if you start demanding (normal, routine) stuff that she will drop you and you wont get the deal on the rates? Remember the old saying, you get what you pay for.

If your lawyer screws this up for you, don't be blaming her. You need to control your lawyer.
Agreed...................
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  #107  
Old 10-06-2014, 07:07 PM
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I'll have a chat. Of course I agree with you all about being in the loop about every convo. If I were to lose her now I would only have 1 e-mail and 1 letter between her and OP. I need to cover my bases.

In my mind Im on a constant proving ground for 7 months. Not aggressive .. not high conflict .. not controlling. I didn't want to come off as controlling to my lawyer by telling her I wanted every e-mail, etc.

But I now realize I have to.
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  #108  
Old 10-06-2014, 07:50 PM
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May I suggest that you simply send your lawyer an email requesting all of the correspondence, and pertinent documentation so that it can be readily available for a clinician and/or any other professional that you retain in the future.

She can have her secretary or one of her students complete this small but very important task.
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  #109  
Old 10-06-2014, 09:17 PM
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Originally Posted by LovingFather32 View Post
So I realize we're doing the cost-effective thing ... but I just hope we're still getting those weekly denials of health/welfare, access, location.
Oh dear. So basically you don't even know if the lawyer has been asking for access??

What if your lawyer hasn't even asked each week? You also don't know if your ex is even denying then?

Perhaps she has been willing to let you see D3 since you say CAS closed their file and you haven't even asked for her?

I thought you had no supervisor now anyway? Are you prepared if ex says you can see D3?? What is your plan?
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  #110  
Old 10-06-2014, 09:32 PM
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Originally Posted by backgroundnoise View Post
I'm a grand-parent to D3, as there has been access of approx. 20 hours total in 7 months, all of D3's extended family( including great-grand parents) and friends have made pop in visits during the limited visits. We all were a part of her daily life in the past. We've recreated an Easter, her 3rd Birthday, Daddy's Birthday, etc. in those few hours. With the newest sexual allegations I am certainly glad that each and everyone of us could appear along with the 'supervisor' to negate the possibility of said allegations.
well considering LF32 was saying how money was tight etc and was going to move in with the gf, I hope you offered him a place to stay instead or at least offered him a loan to help with the bills etc till this is all over??
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