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Old 04-13-2010, 10:55 AM
dadforlife dadforlife is offline
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Default Addressing the judge

I find my lawyer hesitant to address the judge on some issues.

On my first day in court for a motion for 50/50 custody, I felt my lawyer was not pressing certain points that I find were important. In exemple, the judge asked her why she and my ex, who is representing her self, did not get together while waiting for our case to be heard. He stated that we had 3 hours in the waiting room to try and come to an agreement. All she could say was , well its not that easy your Honor. why couldn,t she just tell it like it is and say my ex doesn't want to negotiate. She has interim custody. I feel my lawyer is intimidated. But then again it could also be me who is expecting to go to quick with the case.

So for those who have been there.

-Can I address the judge my self ?

-Is it better to let my lawyer speak for me and just shut up?
-If I can address the judge how do I go about telling the judge or my lawyer I would like to answer some of the questions my self?
-Should I let my lawyer know what my answer would be before speaking?
-Do judges look up to parents who address the courts or do they prefer dealing with lawyers?

The reason I ask is because ( without coming across as arrogant ) I feel very confident about my self in addressing the judge. I also am very confident about my passe and future parenting skills. I, in all sincerity, am not after blood or after full support. I understand and agree that children need both parents as roll models in their lives ( as long as they are not in physical or mental danger ) and have nothing to hide and always been honest in my affidavits. All I want to do is to let the judge know who I am and what I am about. I want to focus my case on the type father I am not how I feel I am a better parent than her.

Should I slow down a bit.Should I be more patient. Should I, should I, should I???????????. time will tell I guess.
Old 04-13-2010, 03:46 PM
About_Time About_Time is offline
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If you have a lawyer, let them do the talking. You may view her as being timid, but it may not always be the case. The things you think are important she may realize are not. This was something I had difficulty with during my divorce - the lawyer had to constantly remind me that the things I was upset about emotionally were usually of no consequence or importance legally. Either trust your lawyer's judgement or fire your lawyer.

Really the best way to deal with it is to speak to your lawyer about it. If she has good reasons why she's handling things the way she is, then it'll put your mind at ease. If she's simply intimidated, then you can address that directly.

If you have a lawyer and are in front of a court, let them do the talking. Judges prefer talking to lawyers but accept that they need to deal with non-lawyers for unrepresented people. I would imagine they'd have little patience for you talking over your lawyer or answering the questions 50/50. One side, one representative.
Old 04-13-2010, 04:15 PM
billiechic billiechic is offline
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If you are going to have a lawyer, then they lawyer should do the talking. HOwever, I see the problem, as I had the same one. Lawyers are so busy with all their cases that they can't know all the details about your case as well as you do.

By all means talk to your lawyer and let her know exactly what you want out of this. Give her a list of your priorities (in order of importance). remember that she works for you and if she isn't getting done what you want then maybe you do need to look at other options.

I know that is easier said than done. I felt that my lawyer was not prepared enough for my CC and it reflected poorly. But, my ex's lawyer was just as uninformed, so there was no real loss for either of us, except that if the lawyers had been more prepared they would have seen that there was actually an opportunity to settle a lot more than they did.
Old 04-14-2010, 08:07 AM
dadforlife dadforlife is offline
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Again ,thanks for the invaluble feed back. I probably need to be more assertive with my lawyer and in fairness, give her more information on who I am and what I believe are my strong qualities as a Dad backed up with actual parenting experience. So far I have put my faith in her but Im starting to realise I also have to do my best to be patient and make sure I accept the process and not just the outcome. And that's the hardess part.

Learning on the fly!
Man this is hard!!
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